#i don’t know if this happens across all of australia but i just unlocked a core memory of mine

[fiveredlights]

i think daniel should be allowed to walk around with a water gun ala fred vasseur style and start blasting people in the paddock as he sees fit. stupid media question about smiling? water blast. is this your last race? chuck a water balloon.

[monacodaydreaming]

Against All Odds | Part One

The continuous stream of notifications and the dull light of your phone screen pulled you from your sleep. You blinked your eyes a few times trying to moisten them as they were dry from having been shut for so long. You reached out in the darkness and grabbed your phone whilst sitting upright in your bed. Your eyes widened as the notifications on your phone wouldn’t stop. One after one they just kept coming, from TikTok, instagram and even messages from your friends. You looked at the time on your phone to see that it was three in the morning. 

You unlocked your phone and went straight to your messages, hoping that these would shed some more immediate light on what was going on. 

Annie: Ells?

Annie: Ellie are you awake?

Annie: Have you seen what’s going on!!

Annie: God your phone must be blowing up

CeCe: I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE IT

CeCe: ARE YOU STILL BREATHING?

CeCe: OMG CAN YOU ANSWER ME PLEASE !!!!

Milo: Lewis Fucking Hamilton wants to meet you.

Milo: Mate, I need you to answer me 

Milo: Fuck me this is wild.

Your eyes widened as you read over the first text again. ‘Lewis Fucking Hamilton wants to meet you’. You immediately closed your messages down and went straight to instagram, you clicked on your profile and you couldn’t believe what you were seeing before you. You had gained over 30,000 followers. You had an endless stream of notifications. 

“What the fuck is going on?” You spoke out into the darkness. You clicked onto the explore page and typed in Lewis Hamiltons instagram handle. From a quick glance at his page you couldn’t see anything directly having been posted about you. You clicked on his profile picture and began watching his stories. They were currently in Australia as the first race of the season would be happening this Sunday. You continued clicking until you came across a post of a reel that looked familiar popped up. The reason it looked familiar was largely to do with the fact that it was yours. Your eyes widened as you read over the words that appeared alongside the repost of your video.

‘I want to meet this girl @_ellsdrives’ 

This could not be happening. You closed down your instagram app and went to your phone to dial your best friend.

“Ellie! Jesus, I thought you might have just spontaneously died.” Milo spoke into the phone. “Are you okay?”

“It’s three in the morning....I’m freaking out a bit I won’t lie.” 

“I’ll say.”

“I was asleep, I only got back from New York a few hours ago.”

“You know he even mentioned you in a press conference right?” 

“I beg your pardon?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been watching all night.”

“Why aren’t you sleeping Milo.”

“Insomnia, anyways I’m gonna send you a clip. It’s mad mate, he says your full name and all.”

“What?” Your phone buzzed in your hands at a video from Milo. “I’m just putting you on speaker for a sec.” He only hummed in response. You clicked play.

‘I love finding talent on social media, I think it’s honestly a great way to find the next generation of drivers. I think as the world progresses you have to think of new ways for people to get into the sport. I was on instagram the other week and I discovered this young girl, only about 25. Errr Ellie Love her name is….incredible driver, such an incredible talent and an obvious love for cars. These people are the future.’

The clip cut there. “I don’t even fucking know what to do right now.” You spoke back into the phone.

“If I was you I would watch the clip about 5 more times, and then message him on instagram obviously.”

“Saying what?!” 

“Saying anything Ellie, literally anything! Saying thank you so much for reposting my video…saying my phones been blowing up non-stop….saying you’re a huge fucking fan.”

You rubbed your temples, feeling a migraine coming on. “I need to get some sleep Milo, what are you plans tomorrow morning?”

“Nada. Breakfast?”

“Please” you pouted through the phone.

“I’ll pick you up at 10, we can go to Minnow.”

“I’ll see you then tank.”

“See you then mush.”

__

When you woke the next day, you refused to look at your phone. You got up and got ready without taking a glance at anything on it other than the time. When Milo rang you at 10am to say he was waiting outside you slipped your phone into your pocket and headed down to meet him.

“If it isn’t the newly world famous Miss. Love” Milo said a little too loudly for your liking as you opened the passenger door.

“Shut up you knob people will hear you.”He only laughed at your words, starting to drive off as you did up your seatbelt.

“How did you sleep?”

“I didn’t” you groaned, and it was true. Since you got off the phone with Milo last night you tossed and turned until you need to get up to meet him. 

“I can’t believe this is happening to be honest with you.”

“Well that makes two of us. I don’t understand why he’s said what he’s said on TV?” You paused looking over at Milo. “I feel like I need to watch the full thing to understand the context.”

“He was asked about his age and how much longer he felt he would be driving for. Then he mentioned about how he knows he can’t go on forever, but how him and Toto already have an understanding that even after he retires from racing he wants to still be involved with the team.” 

“So what he’s looking to recruit his own replacement?” 

“I guess…in some ways yeah.”

"But he can't retire..not yet anyway." You were looking blankly straight ahead. "He's Lewis Fucking Hamilton"

"He is Lewis Fucking Hamilton."

__

You had eaten breakfast, continuing to chat shit with Milo. Still refusing to look at your phone. 

"Okay, it's time. You need to message him."

"I'm scared." 

Milo looked at you blankly "Why are you scared."

"I don't know" you poked your phone that was on do not disturb on the table. "Just am."

"Come on mush. It's time."

You sighed "okay, okay." You tapped the screen, it coming to life showing the thousands of notifications that were there. You unlocked it and went straight to instagram, immediately checking your profile to see what your follower count was now. 

"Christ alive. I'm up to 56k." 

"Fuck off"

"This is insane" Next you went and searched for Lewis again this time clicking on the message icon on his page. You paused over the screen for a little while before you began to type out a message.

@_ellsdrives: Mr. Hamilton...you have got a lot of explaining to do. My phone has been blowing up non-stop. Just wanted to say thank you for reposting my video..and even mentioning my name in that press conference. I'm honestly a little starstruck right now.

"See what you think of this please" You handed your phone over to Milo and watched him read it whilst taking another swig of your coffee.

"Yeah good good, send it!" He passed your phone back to you before quickly looking at his watch. "They'll still be awake over there at the moment."

"Okay, I'm sending." You hit the send button and then decided it was time to look through some of your notifications. You had been followed by not only Lewis Hamilton on instagram, but two other F1 drivers as well. "Milo. I'm freaking out." He looked at you concerned "Pierre Gasly and Sebastian Vettel have followed me on instagram as well."

"You might have just become the coolest person I know."

You playfully threw your napkin at him from across the table. "Mate, I was already the coolest person you knew. No doubt."

"True true."

__

You were back at your flat scrolling through your social medias when you received a direct message from the man himself.

@lewishamilton: sorry to catch you by surprise. I was just amazed by your talent. We're in Imola next weekend for our next race. Mercedes would like to fly you out. What are your plans?

__

“Miss Love?” A man wearing a suit, holding a little sign with your name on it approached you.

“Yes!” You answered with a bright smile on your face. “But please, it’s just Ellie.” The man smiled at you in return. “And this is Milo.” You turned slightly introducing Milo to whom you assumed was your driver.

“Please, follow me. I’m going to take you straight to the circuit, but will drop your bags at the hotel for you.” He reached out to grab your suitcase and started leading the way to the car. Since the initial conversation with Lewis, things had got a little crazy. Mercedes had invited you and a friend to fly out to Imola and meet the team. Naturally you were bringing your friend Milo with you who was a huge F1 fan like yourself. You couldn’t believe how quickly the actual day had come around. 

When you got into the car, you were greeted by a young woman named Melissa. “Hi guys!” She beamed brightly at you both. “I’m Melissa and I’ll be taking you down into the paddock today where you’ll be met by Toto.” She started to hand you both something, but you were still too focused on what she just said.

“I’m sorry, but did you just say Toto?” You were baffled.

“Yes.” She smiled. “If you could just wear these round your necks, these will get you through the gates and they’ll just let everyone know that you’re VIPs with Mercedes this weekend.”

You looked down at the VIP pass that was in your hand with a picture of yourself that you had to send over earlier this week.

When you arrived at the circuit you and Milo thanked the driver and followed Melissa down to the gates where you scanned your passes to gain entry into the paddock. As you and Milo both went through you couldn’t help contain the little squeal that came out of your mouth. You did a little jump in front of Milo who laughed at your actions. You apologised to Melissa and continued to follow her through the paddock.

Walking down the main strip was a surreal experience. It was something that most people only got to see on TV. Never in your life did you imagine that you would be here yourself, as a VIP guest of Mercedes. 

As you were walking you noticed a familiar face heading towards you from the opposite direction. It was Pierre Gasly. Time seemed to slow down a little as you took in the man in front of you. He was looking at his phone. First thing you noticed is that he was taller in person than you thought he might be and in many ways he was way more attractive. You were a little shocked when his head raised and his eyes locked with yours. He abruptly stopped in his tracks and a smile overtook his face.

“Ellie?” He questioned. You were gobsmacked.

“Yes?”

“That is so weird! I was just watching a video of yours on instagram!” He turned his phone screen around to show that he was in fact watching a video of you driving.

“Well that’s a bit surreal for me I’m not going to lie.” You noticed as his eye line moved to Milo who was stood behind you. “This is Milo” You introduced. Pierre held out his hand to shake.

“Nice to meet you Milo.” He redirected his attention back to you. “Lewis mentioned you would be here this weekend. I have to run, but I hope to see you again later. I want you to take me for a spin around the track.” He dropped you a wink.

You were left in disbelief unable to say anything as he walked away, without looking back. You and Milo began following along behind Melissa again. “Pierre Gasly knows who you are.”he teased in a sing song voice.

“If you don’t shut up right now I’m going to knee you in the bollocks.” Milo let out a loud obnoxious laugh at your words.

[winter-fox-queen]

Kisses Like Wine: Part 3

In honor of the new photo, I think I will post this now. :)

Warnings:  Nothing, the reader remains a blank canvass.  Might have cursing.

Summary:  The reader is working undercover where she things the next heist will be, while trying to figure out the Thief's ways…

Note:  There really are diamonds in all these colors!  I spent way too much time looking it up.

“Joe F. Gambrel and Co., how may I direct your call?”  I shifted in my seat a little.  The chair was not that uncomfortable, but I felt like I was definitely out of my comfort zone.  I listened to the person on the other side, put them on hold.  Started an email to my boss.  Took them off hold.  “I am so sorry.  Mr. Larsen is in a meeting, may I take a message?”  I typed the message in the email, hung up, hit send.

This was the shape of my day.  Take messages for my reprobate boss, who was never in the office, and try to look like someone else.  Act like someone else.

And, most of all, case the joint.  I wondered, briefly, if the Thief ever called his work that…casing the joint.  Probably not.  He did not look like someone who used twenties gangster slang.

As I wandered the office suite, I hoped I was not wasting my time.  I was working for a high end antiquities firm.  If you wanted something, they got it for you.  They did not have a lot of staff, and the bosses seemed to be out of the office more than not.  The floors directly below me were home to a large business dedicated to restoration.

I’d been studying, and I was ninety nine percent sure that this was the next place the Thief would break into.  The crown was — just a crown.  Pretty, historied. I suspect he took it because he could, not because he wanted it.  After all, it had been right there.

No.  He had come for the Star.  Almost a half a year prior, someone had stolen The Golden Queen.  And now, if I had guessed right, he would be coming for a incredibly rare, beautiful pink diamond called The Compass Rose.

I went and looked at it, not for the first time. At the top floor of the high rise, the company — and Keith Larsen — kept the Compass Rose on display in an act of hubris that was sure, if Greek Myth was any indication, to anger some God eventually.  It was in a huge room, the ceiling was all glass that arched up to a sharp point that was illuminated at night.  The floor was marble, the walls a warm sandstone.  Four benches, one on each side of the pillar that held the diamond’s display case.  One wall held a fountain and greenery, meant to look like a small, exotic waterfall.  The water trickled softly as I went as close to the case as I dared.  And there.  The largest pink diamond that had ever been discovered in Australia, glittering deep rose.  It was one of a kind.

My thief was collecting a full set.  There were three diamonds, including this one, in Midas’s Rainbow that the thief had not stolen.

He could have gone after one of the other ones.  I could be wrong.

But I wasn’t.  I couldn’t be. I had bribed my way in, under a new name with a perfectly wrought set of identification papers, even a credit card.  I dyed my hair and carefully applied my make up so that I made my face a little different.  So if I ran into him, he wouldn’t immediately know it was me.  It was not, probably the best plan, but my training consisted of books and watching Leverage.

I was staring at it too long, the security guard peeked in.

“Miss?”  The security guard peeked in.  Older man, with warm, friendly eyes and a lovely voice that seemed not to match his age.  We’d spoken a few times on my daily check of the diamond.  No one was allowed to be in the room too long, and he was gently reminding me it was time to go.

I went out the door, leaned against the wall next to him, and asked the question that I’d been asking myself for weeks, since I started working here.  “If you were going to steal the Compass Rose, how would you go about it?”

He stared at me for so long I thought he was going to go report me.  “That’s not a smart question to be asking, around here.”

“There’s no harm, though.”  I said.  His voice bothered me.  I wanted more, if I could listen to it a little longer…

He shook his head and didn’t speak.

“I’m sorry if I offended.”

He gave me a gentle smile, touched his ear and pointed to a corner of the room.  Then he shooed me towards the door.

Back at my desk I snuck out my steno notebook from its hiding place in a stack of unused notebooks in my desk drawer.  It was where I kept my plans.  Layout of the building.  Everything I learned.  Since my purse could get searched at any time, I only had it at work.  One steno pad looks like all the others, right?  Locked in my drawer, under a box of tampons.

The fountain has to be the way in. There needs to be a way to service the pipes behind the wall.

If I could break something in the fountain without getting caught, someone would have to fix it.  Someone would have to open the door or the hatch, and I’d know how to get in.

And the thief always liked distractions. But what kind of distraction would he manage to create?

My work day ended, I grabbed my purse, made sure my desk was locked, and started out.

“Honey?”  The first front desk receptionist called after me.

I smiled and crossed over.

“I just wanted to remind you, tomorrow they are bussing in a bunch of high school students to tour the floors so they can see what it takes to restore old art.”  She smiled at me.  “You’ll want to make sure to get here early before they get here…it’s going to be a madhouse.”

Cue distraction.

The next day I went to see the madhouse for myself.  I wanted to see the teachers.  Most were women.  I didn’t discount them completely, but I had a feeling he wouldn’t shave his mustache if he could avoid it.  There.  Curly, dark hair.  Tweed jacket with elbow patches.  What century did he think this was?  I followed him as he ushered bored looking kids, careful not to let me see his face.  Finally I went around a dented suit of armor and managed to get face to face with him.  “Hey!”  I said cheerfully.

It wasn’t him. Eyes too far apart, nose too small, just not him.

I apologized and walked off just as one of the teachers asked, brightly, “Can we see the Compass Rose?”

“Well.  There’s no reason why not.  The public are allowed to go in, but only one at a time, I think?” The woman who had gotten stuck showing the group around said.  I hid as quickly as I could, not wanting to be pulled into the conversation.

I walked back to my office, hoping no one had noticed I’d slipped out, to be sadly disappointed.  My boss was sitting on the corner of my desk.

“Where were you?”  He asked me.

“Just wanted to see what all the noise was about.”  Behind him, the lady security guard who switched on and off with the one I usually saw stood, looking that part angry, part unamused way only a security guard could.

“Open your desk.”

“What is this about?”

“The Compass Rose.  It’s gone.  I want to know if you have it.  You spent enough time looking for it…made jokes about stealing it.  So.  Did you?”

I unlocked the desk and the guard pushed me aside, dumping the contents on my desk.  I held my breath when she flipped through the notebooks, but they all were empty.

Empty.  Oh, no.

I let her paw through everything I owned.  Let her pat me down.  “Unless she swallowed it, sir, I don’t think she has it.”

“I didn’t swallow it!”  I let panic creep into my voice.  It was not hard.

I let them x-ray me.  I did.  I admit it.  The lab tech a few floors down gave me sympathetic looks as I stood there, shivering, in my gown.

And then I let them fire me.  The frustrating thing was the lack of knowledge.  They refused to let me know anything.  What happened?  How?  Why?  Was a playing card left behind?  I wanted to know.

But most of all I wanted to know where my notebook was.

Two days later as I packed up my apartment, I received a package.  My name…my alias, rather, in quotes.  Quotes.  I grabbed a letter opener and ripped it open with more force than I needed.  I suspected, already, who would be cheeky enough to put quotation marks around my fake name.

My notebook.

The last page, there was a five of diamonds tucked in like a book mark. The back of the card the same as the one I carried with me wherever I went.

Across the last page he’d written, “A five star card for a five star effort.  Not bad for your first try.  I wish I’d thought of the fountain.  That was clever, if a bit damp.”  A couple of crabbed notes along side my own.  Suggestions.  Not actual plans.  No, I’d need to catch him to find out how he did his theft, if he could be convinced to tell me even then.

I sat down, hard.  He knew where I was.  Where I lived.  Knew I had a steno notebook, knew I’d hide it because I could have my belongings searched.  How?  How did he learn so much about me?  I thought over the people I had met, since getting that job.

I imagined large hands carefully drawing things out of my purse, lining them up neatly on the marble of the entry way desk.  “Sorry about this, miss.”  The guard’s voice said, as he went through my things.  Large, but graceful hands.  A warm voice that bothered me because I’d heard it before.  The security guard.  He’d been guarding the damned diamond all along.

“Five star effort? Oh, I’ll show you.  I’ll show you.”

I worried about telling my family of my failure, then I realized.  He’d given me a clue.  The cheeky bastard had given me a clue.  Because one of the other diamonds was kept in a five star hotel overlooking the Rhine.

He was telling me that he was going to steal the Heart of the Rhine, a mossy green diamond worth millions.  Now, if only I could believe him.

Thank you to you lovely people for being on my tag list, if you want added or dropped just let me know.  <3

@grogusmum @mishasminion360 @hnt-escape @littlemisspascal @pedro4ever @writteninthestars18 @fromthedeskoftheraven @sharkbait77

@quica-quica-quica @eri16 @the-blind-assassin @ayoungpascallover-readings @songsformonkeys

[moonbeambucky]

Hey Neighbor (Part 6)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 2313 Warnings: none

Summary: You had a plan and then life came along with one of its own. With your future almost derailed you worked hard to get yourself back on track and finally everything seemed to be going right… that is, until your new neighbor moved in.

A/N: A huge thank you to my wonderful beta Sam @buckyofthemyscira​​​ Feedback is always appreciated!

PART 5 | HEY NEIGHBOR MASTERLIST

Buzzing. There was constant buzzing in your ear, a combination of all the sounds around you blurring into an indiscernible mix you forced yourself to focus on. The steady drone is too slow for the quickened bounce of your leg shaking against the floor of the Uber that’s bringing you to your destination much faster than you expected. Your stomach is twisted in painful knots that sear deeper as you see the illuminated sign of Metro-General Hospital.

The way you’re feeling makes you want to head left through the emergency room doors but instead you charge ahead towards the main entrance. After giving your name you move to the side and await instructions from the security guard.

The buzzing hasn’t stopped though you quickly realize the pulsating vibrations were coming from your phone inside your bag. Quickly checking it you saw a text from Bucky wishing you good luck on the interview. You smiled seeing his name, feeling a moment of relief.

There was a shift in the air after you opened up to him the night before about why social work meant so much to you. Bucky had a much clearer understanding of you, commending the drive you had to come so far even with the obstacles you faced. You exchanged numbers before he left, acknowledging that Bucky was no longer just your neighbor but someone you considered a new friend.

The security guard hands you a visitor ID and gives you instructions to get to Ms. Rodriguez’s office from the elevator. Smoothing out your blouse you gave a friendly smile to the fellow passengers that entered as the doors opened to almost every floor on the journey up.

Two right turns and then a left at the nurses’ station until you found the corridor with blue doors. You rang the bell that buzzed a second later and pushed open the now unlocked door to enter an open room. A woman sits at a desk in front, gesturing for you to sit down on the row of chairs behind you as she continues her phone conversation.

Her desk is covered in a stack of thick manila folders, with one file open in front of her that she references on the call. You try not to eavesdrop despite being right there so you move your head slowly to observe the rest of the room. Cubicle walls divide a few other desks beside her. The walls are lined with tall file cabinets and a large potted Ficus drinks up the sunshine in the corner.

At the back of the room is a door that unexpectedly swings open, having been pulled so hard it seemed like it could have come off the hinges. A tall slim girl is scowling as her boots stomp down the hallway. She’s dressed in jeans and a black leather jacket as dark as her loose, uncombed hair. A woman steps out from the doorway, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Follow protocol Ms. Jones and we’ll get him.”

The girl turned around scoffing, “We’ll get him faster if I throw his ass through a wall.”

“Jessica,” she warned, flaring her eyes at the girl in a silent challenge.

It only took a moment for you to realize the woman was Ms. Rodriguez and suddenly your stomach began flipping again.

“Ms. Y/L/N?” she asked and you nodded, standing up to greet her with a handshake and a smile.

She asked you to follow her into her office, watching her thick braid sway as she walked ahead of you, holding the door open for you to enter. Her office wasn’t very big, or maybe it only felt that way since it was surrounded by even more large file cabinets.

“I apologize for that,” she began, “Jessica thinks using her fists might yield more results. This is a tough field, tell me what you wish to get out of it.”

Having recounted the full story with Bucky you were emotionally prepared to discuss all aspects of why you wanted to go into this field and it was clear to Ms. Rodriguez that you wanted to make a difference in the lives of those you were advocating for.

Her fingers twirled the large silver cross around her neck as she stared at you, your nerves rising under her silent gaze. Her face eventually relaxed into a smile and the weight was lifted from your shoulders as she welcomed you aboard as an intern. You couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across your face but when she began talking hours and scheduling it quickly dropped. You explained working full time and the hope you had for fulfilling your internship hours in the evenings.

“The issue is that some patients require our help to connect them with outside organizations to provide services and it’s unfortunate but most places stop answering their phones before 5 o’clock. There is a lot you can learn from us here but I would expect some daytime hours, otherwise this internship does not benefit you and I don’t mean to be frank but I can’t have you waste my time.”

Her straightforwardness made you feel nauseous but you understood. Your goal was so close, 1200 hours away until completion. You weren’t going to let it slip away.

“Thank you Ms. Rodriguez. I would love the opportunity to still do my internship here with you. If you’ll allow me the opportunity to speak with my employer, perhaps we can come to an arrangement.”

This may be another obstacle in the road but you were going to get through it, somehow, someway.

The following day you woke up earlier than usual despite your lack of sleep. You almost texted Bucky at night, asking him to play anything in hopes the sound of his music would help drown out the anxieties in your mind. Instead you tossed and turned all night, unable to shut off your brain.

You didn’t want to text him anyway, knowing he would ask how the interview went. You avoided Steve and Wanda’s texts as well, seeking refuge at The Grind House but instead of doing research papers you worked on several plans. If you couldn’t make Stark Industries work with your internship then you’d have to find another job, or two, or three if need be.

You would make this happen no matter what but that didn’t ease the pit in your stomach; the familiar sense of dread that weighed you down uncomfortably like sandbags on your shoulders. Optimism and fear were fighting for dominance in your mind and for now you gave in to all the fears and worries. There would be no telling what path you would travel next, not until you spoke with Maria.

Steve wasn’t in yet so you were thankful to not have to run into him in the morning. The clicking of your heels against the tile floor echoed throughout the empty lobby. You couldn’t help but tap your foot, impatiently waiting for the elevator to arrive. Lost in thought you didn’t hear the footsteps of a person come up beside you. It wasn’t until you entered the elevator and were surprised to see someone else walk in.

Dressed in a sharp three-piece navy suit with a deep red tie stood Tony Stark. A perfectly trimmed goatee framed his smile as he took off his tinted sunglasses.

“G-good morning Mr. Stark,” you nervously greeted.

“Morning miss….” The word slithered on his tongue, dragging out the sound as he combed through the information of his brain to remember your last name. “Y/L/N!”

“You know who I am?” You didn’t mean to sound so pathetic but the words blurted out before you were able to stop them.

“That’s right kiddo. I know everybody that works for me,” he boasted.

He pressed his lips together forming a tight line, and he checked around the elevator as if you weren’t the only people there.

Tony leaned in closer to you, whispering, “Actually, that’s a lie. There’s one guy up in legal whose name I can’t ever remember. Is it Gary? Glenn? Gene? Geor– you know what, never mind. I know his face. That stays between us, okay?”

You nodded your head, but couldn’t help the odd chuckle that fell from your lips.

“So, are you angry?”

Your posture straightened, tensing up after his question caught you off guard.

“Before. The tapping?” He tapped his foot to mimic your earlier actions. “Pepper does that when she’s angry, usually at me.”

“Oh, no I… I’m just eager to speak with Maria about something.”

The elevator doors opened and Tony gestured for you to step out first.

“Might be a little difficult, she won’t be back for at least a few months.”

Worry settled on your face as Tony explained he asked Maria to head Stark International and begin overseeing their newest office in Australia.

“I had no idea…” you trailed off, wondering what this means not only for your internship but your job. “I’m her assistant…”

“That’s on me,” Tony said, raising his hands in defense. “I’m sorry, this was a real last minute decision. I know Maria thinks highly of you so if you’d like we can arrange for you to join her down unda,” he said with an accent.

“No!” You didn’t mean to shout. “I’m sorry. I can’t go there. I…I....” your voice trailed off as your lip began to tremble, feeling yourself plummet deeper and deeper into a pit of fear and uncertainty.

Tony noticed the panic on your face and the short gulps of breath you were taking. He guided you to the nearest chair and asked you to focus on taking long, deep breaths and blowing out steadily.

“You still have a job here if that’s what you’re worried about,” he said softly.

Tony’s eyes were full of compassion and based on everything you knew from Mr. Lee he made you feel comfortable enough to want to open up to him. With a deep sigh you explained your situation, from needing this job to afford an apartment up until the internship hours you were hoping to discuss with Maria, all the while still ensuring he knew how grateful you were for the job you had.

Tony pondered for a bit before the elevator opened and a few employees shuffled in, greeting him with surprise.

“Follow me,” he asked of you, following him to his grand corner office with floor to ceiling windows showcasing a beautiful view of the golden sunrise.

You took a seat on the soft leather chair in front of the sleek obsidian desk. His office was decorated with oversized black and white photos of old planes and cars, a few personalized touches and a small wet bar off to the side and yet everything seemed sterile. Maybe it was the way his own chair squeaked as he sat, like it was still being broken in.

Your fingers twiddled in your lap as you anxiously waited for Tony to break the silence. He gazed at you for a little longer, nodding slightly and quirking his head as if he was having a silent conversation with himself.  

“Stan told me you were a good kid but I wish he knew about your background. I would’ve put you on my team a long time ago.”

Your head twitched, taken aback. “Your team?”

“Me, Pep, a few others. We’re in the beginning stages of building a nonprofit organization, The September Foundation. I want it to change lives; develop after school STEM programs, fund student research, the whole shebang.”

The tendency you had of not shutting your mouth when you should have continued as you questioned why he thought you were appropriate for this.

“You want to help people, same as I and being part of this doesn’t look so bad on a resume.”

“My hours…”

“...can be flexible,” he finished. “We’ll work out the details but the job is yours.”

Tears of joy flooded your eyes but you held them back, closing your lids with relief as things were finally coming together.

“Thank you Mr. Stark, thank you so much!”

You shook his hand enthusiastically and turned on your heel with a smile. You nearly made it to the door before realizing you had no idea what to do now especially with Maria no longer there.

An awkward bubble of laughter came up as you asked, “What should I be doing today Mr. Stark?”

“Please, call me Tony,” he flashed a bright smile. “Greg or Graham or whatever his name is will finalize the legal paperwork in the next few days. Use those days to brainstorm. Tell me what communities you think we need to be in, what would benefit most, what would draw kids in. On Monday you’ll meet with everyone else to go over ideas.”

With a renewed sense of spirit you went to your desk, first to write Maria a congratulatory email on her new position and then to call Ms. Rodriguez about the internship, afterwards you went straight to work.

“Steve!” you shouted before the elevator doors finished opening, running as best as you could in heels towards him. “I have so much to tell you! I got the internship! I have a new job here! I’m– ahhhhh!”

Steve wrapped you in a firm hug as your excited ramblings turned into squeals of joy.

“We have to celebrate!” you beamed. “I’ll call Wanda and Sam and…”

You stopped to think about Bucky. He was new in your life and yet somehow the idea of celebrating without him felt wrong.

Later that night you knocked on his door, sporting a wide smile that spread across your face. It stretched even wider when he opened the door and blessed you with a sparkling grin.

Opening your mouth you said the first words that came to mind, “Will you go out with me?”

PART 7

[devilatmydoor]

under the mistletoe I c.t.h

a/n;  this fic is based off of mistletoe by justin bieber (its easily one of my fave songs by him)  and prompts i found on here 

prompts used - “You’re under the mistletoe so stop stalling and just kiss.” “I guess… this is when we kiss?” 

summary; attending ashton’s annual christmas/holiday party you arrive at the same time as calum. you step inside to are faced with the inevitable truth- your feelings for calum. 

pairing; calum/reader // word count; 1,115 masterlist // ficmas masterlist // 

warnings; drinking/alcohol & fluff 

You flattened your outfit as you stepped out of your car; unlocking it you walked towards Ashton's house towards his annual Christmas Party. You smiled when you'll recognized a familiar face meeting yours. He smiled at you and waved as he got closer, he stretched his arms out for a tight hug as his scent engulfed your lungs. 

"Hey you, I thought you'd be here already!" 

"I forgot what time it started!" Calum chuckled as you walked towards the front door. 

"When do you leave for the holidays?" He asked with a smile as his shoulder brushed yours.

"Monday, I thought it would be better to head out the week before Christmas than the week of." You mentioned, as Christmas Music welcomed you to Ashton's house before entering.

"Oh that's so soon!" He leaned against the door.

You asked “When are you leaving for Australia?"

"I'm not going this year, my family is coming here for the first time for Christmas." He said excitedly as he stood up straight remembering he was at a party.

"Oh that will be exciting!" You smiled as you opened the door, Ashton, Kay Kay and Michael standing nearby.

You looked up to see why they were all smiling like idiots at the both of you when you stepped in at the same time.

Mistletoe.

It was hanging right by the front door.

"Look who's under the mistletoe!"

Calum's cheek turned bright red as he realized what was going to happen next. "Who put mistletoe right by the front door?"

"Who do you think?" Michael retorted with a giggle.

"We didn't come together-"You started to say as Calum chimed in.

"So we probably shouldn't."

"Yeah plus I need to run to the bathroom." You lied as Ashton crossed his arms.

"You're under the mistletoe so stop stalling and just kiss." Ashton asserted as you faced Calum for the incoming kiss between the two of you.

"I guess..this is when we kiss?" Calum said nervously as his body faced yours.

"I guess so." You hesitated to learn forward not wanting to make it obvious.

He leaned forward and pressed his soft lips in a heart stopping kiss, his hands yours cupping your face as you poured everything you had into kissing him. You'd dreamt of kissing Calum for as long as you could remember; it was so cliche to be in love with your best friend but how could you not be?

The wolf whistles and cheers brought the two of you back into the party as his lips left yours. He cleared his throat before your eyes met his and he slowly moved his hands away from you.

Calum walked up to Ashton whose jaw was slacked, “That was more than just a kiss dude.”

“Change of subject Ash, why put the mistletoe right there?”

"It was Luke's idea to put it there, we didn't think you two would walk in together!"

"I wanted to kiss them on my own, not enforced." Calum mentioned as he sighed.

“Mate, I don’t think they mind.." Ashton winked as he showed Calum the spiked eggnog.

Sierra, Luke and Ashton talked to Calum as they drank the eggnog. Calum's eyes met yours across the room. You looked away as Crystal walked up to you with a giant smile on your face, "Spill. I need to know how that kiss was."

Sierra joined as you gushed about the infamous kiss that you couldn't stop thinking about. Whenever you closed your eyes it replayed in your head; his warm hands on your face, how effortless and perfect it was considering you'd never kissed him before. You felt his eyes on you as you finished your story, your cheeks turned pink as you grabbed a cookie and slowly ate it to mask your anxiousness.

He groaned as he saw you lick your lips in an effort to clean remaining frosting. "Mate you need to stop staring at them."

His eyes met Luke’s as he blushed, "I can't stop thinking about the kiss if I tried."

"Do you really want to?"

"Absolutely not, but I don't know how they'll feel.." Calum sighed finishing his cranberry punch.

"They kissed you back Cal, the only way to truly know is to talk to them.”

"You've got a point, I just keep replaying it in my head." Calum mentioned as he put his hands in his pockets, "I'm gonna go outside."

Luke patted him on the back as he made his way towards the front door; you caught Calum leaving and realized you wouldn't sleep tonight if you didn't talk to him.

You opened the front door as Calum's eyes met yours. He smiled as he put his cigarette in his pocket. "Hey."

"Hi, did I stop you from leaving?"

"No, I was gonna smoke. What's up?" He asked as he put his hands in his pocket.

You attempted to swallow the ever growing lump in your throat; how were you going to tell the person you’d been in love with for so long you couldn’t remember a time you weren’t in love with him?

“I’m guessing you want to talk about the kiss.”

“Yeah, Cal I understand if you don’t feel the same way as I feel about you but that kiss, ” You blurted; his gaze fixed on you as he stepped closer to you making the space between you non-existent. “Was perfect.”

“I feel the same way, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.” He admitted as you stepped closer to him as his hands held your waist as you bit your bottom lip in anticipation.

.”I can’t either, not that I want to stop.”

His lips ghosted over yours, “I should’ve known when you kissed me back”

“I should’ve known by the way you kissed me” You swooned before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

He sighed happily before kissing your lips softly, “Imagine how I’d kiss you if we were alone.”

“We’re alone right now Cal” You giggled and he chuckled realizing how stupid he sounded.

“In that case.” He breathed before his lips attacked yours passionately as he held your waist, you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer as you stood in front of Michael’s house kissing as the world around you disappeared. He softly licked your lower lip as you opened your mouth fully to deepen the kiss, your bodies pressed together as you made out. Unsure of how long you’d been making out- it could’ve been 10, it could’ve been 40- when he says with his husky voice, “Let’s get outta here, yeah?”

You nodded, “Absolutely, lead the way.”

taglist- @blackheartedcal @himbocalum @sunflowerxcal @lukeysdimples @blackbutterfliescal @suchalonelysunflower @wastelandcth @myloverboyash @calumrose @mashlums @boytoynamedcalum @feliznavidaddycal @icyicejuice @calumscalm @saintlaurentcalum @calumswildflowerz @spicycal @notinthesameguey​ @cheekysos @tpwkatsumu @esbisos @bandsanitizer @talkfastcal 

[honouraryweasley12]

A Magical Melody

This was written for the amazing @adenei for the HPRomione Discord Secret Santa 2020. If you’re not following her, you are missing out on some excellent Romione content.

Also on FF.n

Summary: Ron gets an education on Muggle music as he and Hermione visit her home and share some tender moments after the war.

Ron's loud footsteps echoed in the kitchen as he barrelled down the stairs of The Burrow, breaking the quiet peace.

"Morning, Mum."

Molly was busy at the stove, preparing breakfast for the Weasley clan. She greeted her youngest son as he strode toward the table.

He slid into the chair next to Hermione and pressed a kiss to the side of her head, both of them blushing under Molly's gaze. She was watching them wistfully, before turning back to a pan of fried eggs.

"Morning, love."

Hermione grinned at him, slowly getting used to the terms of endearment he seemed so fond of using. "Good morning."

He dropped his head onto her shoulder and snuggled close before letting out a wide yawn.

"How did you sleep?"

"Good, until I woke up and you weren't—"

She kicked him under the table, shutting him up. The fact that she'd been sneaking into his room at night to fall asleep in his arms was not something she wanted Mrs. Weasley to hear about.

"Sorry," he murmured in her ear, causing a pleasurable shiver to run through her body. She loved that they could be so close now, after denying themselves for so long.

His volume increased significantly. "How did you sleep in Ginny's room?"

She tutted under her breath, but played along with his charade nonetheless. "I was fine; no nightmares."

"Good. Why are you up so early? I thought I finally convinced you that sleeping in was good for you."

She paused for a moment, running her fingers up and down the teacup in front of her.

"What is it?"

"I've been thinking..."

"That's not a surprise."

Hermione rolled her eyes affectionately and continued on.

"Ever since your Dad and Bill finished checking my parents' home for curses and traps last week, it's been on my mind. What state is the house in? Should I do something about it or wait?"

"You usually don't wait for anything... except maybe me," he quipped.

"I know, I hate just sitting here, knowing there is something to be done," she fretted, completely ignoring the rest of his comment. "I even rang the energy company from the village, when I went with Ginny and your mum the other day, and everything should be reconnected by now."

Ron scrunched his eyes in deep thought. "Electricity, right?"

Hermione nodded. "What if... what if we go to my house today? See how things are? We're still waiting for the paperwork to go to Australia, and it would be nice for them to have a home to come back to." Her voice dropped to a strained whisper. "If we find them."

Ron ran his large hand gently up and down her back, the warmth through her thin shirt soothing her as he leaned forward. "We'll find them, I promise. I think visiting your house, now that it's safe, is a brilliant idea. I've always wanted to see where you grew up."

She turned her head in surprise, throwing him slightly off balance. "Really?"

He sat up and nodded, before looking down and picking at the wooden tabletop to avoid eye contact. "It was always one of those things I wondered about, but if I told you, I was scared you'd realize how much time I spent I thinking about you."

Her face softened at such a sweet, honest admission. It wasn't the first time he'd surprised her with the depth of his feelings in the short time they'd been dating. Before she could reply, Mrs. Weasley let out a sniffle and dabbed her eyes with her apron, before hustling over and placing two plates in front of them, stopping to ruffle Ron's hair.

"Geroff, Mum!" His complaint was half-hearted, causing Hermione to giggle.

"I'm just so happy for the two of you! Now, tuck in."

Ron rolled his eyes, but reached for Hermione's hand under the table, their fingers linking together. She smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

~*~

A quiet pop, barely noticeable in the late Spring afternoon, signalled the arrival of the couple in a posh suburb. Arriving in a small tree-lined area, they emerged onto the sidewalk, hand-in-hand.

Ron shook his head, slightly disoriented from the Side-Along. They thought it was the safest way to go, since he wasn't familiar with the area where Hermione lived. His eyes widened as he took in the houses they were walking past. "Wow, these places are really fancy."

"Dentists tend to do quite well financially, so my parents bought our home in a nice location, both to live in and as a sensible investment. Their goal was to sell it when they were older and retire to the coast."

Ron nodded, still looking around in awe.

"Look, there it is!"

He directed his attention to the neat, two-storey brick home. It wasn't the largest on the block, but certainly not the smallest. It seemed quite grand and spacious for a family of three.

As they reached the front door, Hermione paused and let out a shaky breath. Ron placed his hands on her shoulders, coaxing her to face him.

"You did the right thing."

She took a moment and nodded, her body still trembling. "It just feels surreal to be back here, now that everything is over."

"From what Bill said, it seems like the Death Eaters realized it was abandoned and didn't cause much damage. I think he and Dad set most of it right already."

She nodded, and pulled out a key from her pocket.

He watched her carefully as she unlocked the door and turned the knob. She peered into the dark, a beam of sunlight highlighting the dust in the air. Overcome by sudden emotion, Hermione's eyes welled up, remembering the times she had spent there with her family. Her missing family.

A second later, her nose was pressed into the softly worn cotton of Ron's shirt as he comforted her.

"You are amazing." The deep timbre of his voice was muffled by her hair. "What you did to protect them took so much, and it'll be over with soon. We're going to find them and bring them home."

She gripped him harder, tears soaking into the cloth. She hadn't realized how much her actions had cost her. How big of a weight it had been on her soul.

"I couldn't do this without you," she said into his shirt.

"I'm here for you, no matter what happens."

She wiped her eyes, before pulling him down for a quick kiss. "Thank you."

Letting out a deep, far calmer breath, Hermione turned to the doorway.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

She stepped in and flipped the familiar switch on the wall. The light in the entrance hummed to life as she surveyed her home for the first time in a year.

"Wicked!"

Ron's enthusiasm seemed to shake her out of her thoughts as she shuffled aside and let him in, locking the door behind him.

He looked around in wonder, taking it all in. She in turn was watching him, a small smile playing across her lips. He spied her expression and grinned back. "So this is it, huh? The famous Granger residence."

"I don't know how famous it is, but it's home."

Ron was fascinated. "Everything is so neat and tidy, and the walls are so straight, unlike The Burrow. It does seem much more welcoming than Harry's Aunt and Uncle's. I think that's the only other Muggle home I've ever been to."

She too glanced around. She hadn't realized how much she missed the place she grew up.

"The rest of our things aren't even out yet. I shrunk the valuables and concealed them in the attic."

The lights started flickering, causing Hermione to jump. It was then she noticed her boyfriend, flicking the switch on and off rapidly.

"Ron, what are you doing?"

"Lights on, lights off. This is fun! You should try it."

She grabbed his hand, stilling it. "You can play later. We have work to do first."

Ron groaned, his head flopping back in protest. "We don't have to clean the Muggle way, do we? I still have nightmares about Grimmauld Place."

She playfully poked him in the side, causing him to flinch. "No, we'll use magic this time. We can get the cleaning done quickly, then we can start rearranging the furniture and putting things back in the cupboards."

He kissed the top of her head, before making a sweeping gesture. "Lead the way."

The two set about cleaning the empty house, the thin layer of dust coating the surfaces quickly removed. Hermione opened the curtains and windows, letting in the fresh breeze. With the aid of magic, it only took them a short amount of time to get the main areas of the first floor looking like new.

Hermione was just finishing the kitchen cabinets as Ron stopped to examine some of the appliances.

"I really should have taken Muggle Studies," he remarked as he took a closer look at the electric kettle. "Some of this stuff is interesting. I can see why Dad is so obsessed."

"Your Dad's interest in Muggle gadgets is quite unique amongst magical people, isn't it?"

"It's completely barmy."

"No more than obsessing over books or Quidditch."

He shrugged. "I guess everyone has their interests."

Hermione suddenly gasped and raced to the stairs leading to the second floor. "Wait here."

Her footsteps thumped around above him for a few minutes, until she finally reappeared and descended the stairs, her face flushed.

"What have you got there?" Ron asked as she reached him. In her hand were a number of tiny brown cubes.

"You'll see, come with me." She grabbed his hand, their fingers locking automatically, and practically pulled him to a small room at the back of the house. "This is Dad's den."

The empty built-ins were the perfect place for floor-to-ceiling books. "Your own personal library. No wonder you're so excited."

She chuckled and shook her head, before gently placing the small cubes on the floor.

"Stand back."

With a quick wave of her wand, the cubes expanded into a large pile of assorted boxes. "It's my Dad's collection. Instead of gadgets, music is his passion."

She gleefully opened the first box to find it full of cardboard sleeves. She extracted one and pulled out the thin black disc from inside to show Ron.

"These are records. They aren't as popular anymore, but a lot of purists love them. The music is imprinted in these grooves here."

"Ooh!" She said, shoving the record back into its sleeve and handing it to Ron. "Let me show you these."

Hermione moved a few boxes and found the one she was looking for. The inside revealed piles of small plastic rectangles.

"What am I looking at?"

"These are called cassettes, or tapes," she explained as she opened the case and removed the cassette, pointing out the spools inside. "The tape within contains the music. And last but not least—"

"There's more?"

"Yes!" She opened a third box and pulled out a jewel case. "These are called compact discs, or CDs."

Ron's head was spinning now as she passed him the silver disc. He held the CD in his hands, watching as it caught the light and revealed a rainbow of colours across its surface. "So why does music come in all of these different containers?"

"You'll find that Muggles are creative and adaptable to new technologies. We're constantly inventing and refining how we do things. Innovation moves much faster here than in the Wizarding world."

Ron nodded, gesturing to the records and cassettes. "So all of these have been made in the last few years?"

"Records were more popular in the 1960s and 70s, cassettes in the 80s, and CDs in the 90s. When I was here for Christmas the year before last, my dad had a new computer. He was showing me that digital music can now be downloaded as MP3 files. He thinks it's the future of music."

All Ron could do was shake his head in disbelief. "I don't understand half of what you just said, but I'll take your word for it."

He watched in fascination as she opened more boxes and stacked a number of large rectangular devices on the shelves, then untangled a spool of wires.

Ron was peering at the electronics. "I think my Dad has some of this stuff in his shed!"

"These actually play the music." She pointed out the different devices to him. "This is a turntable, it plays the records, and this is a stereo with both a cassette player and a CD player."

She directed him to lift up the large speakers and place them in the corners of the room.

"What are you doing now?"

"I'm connecting the speakers so that we can hear the music. Think of these as boxes with a Sonorous charm on them."

He watched as she deftly ran the wiring and plugged everything in.

Her eyes were alight with excitement to share this with him. "What shall we listen to first?"

Ron shrugged. "Whatever doesn't sound like the rubbish Mum listens to."

"No, of course not. Muggle music has much more variety. There are so many genres: pop, rock, classical, country, hip hop. Luckily, my Dad has very diverse tastes."

"You're taking the mickey! There's no music called hip hop! Is it made by rabbits?"

She snorted. "It's completely true. I think it's more popular in America."

She started flipping through the records, trying to find something that might appeal to Ron. "Oh, this should work! The Weird Sisters were inspired by this type of music, so it should be familiar."

Ron shrugged. "I never really paid that much attention to them before."

"Surely you've heard Ginny playing their music. They played the entire Yule Ball!"

He suddenly looked pained, his mouth a thin line as he quietly responded. "Like I said, I haven't paid much attention."

Noting his tenseness, she turned back to the audio equipment. "Well, let's see what you think about this."

She fiddled with the knobs on the turntable, before pulling out the record. With a light scratch of the needle arm, the familiar static sound of a record playing filled the room.

Hermione suddenly stomped her feet and clapped in time with the loud music.

Ron clutched at his chest, broken out of his stupor. "Bloody hell!"

She grabbed his hand, her excitement contagious as he reluctantly joined in the pattern. A man's excited voice sang and Ron couldn't help bobbing his head. Hermione was smiling widely watching him.

As the music swelled, she cried out the familiar lyrics. "We will, we will rock you!"

Ron's deep voice hesitantly joined hers as their combined singing echoed off the walls. Once the song came to an end, Ron couldn't help but express his admiration, his mood lifted.

"That was brilliant!"

"See, I told you Muggles had good music. That was a rock band called Queen. I believe that song is quite popular at sporting events."

Ron's eyes lit up. "Imagine a whole Quidditch stadium doing that!"

"That would certainly be a sight. What next?"

As the two continued unboxing and organizing the rather large collection of music, Hermione took the opportunity to play a variety of different songs, just to introduce Ron to some of the genres she enjoyed.

"Dad always had music playing, and I must admit, I did miss it at Hogwarts. The few times I was here, he always had something new to listen to."

Ron was digging through a box, looking at the various CD covers when he let out a gasp.

"What is this?"

She spotted the familiar case in his hands, her face blanching in horror. "No, no, no!"

She launched herself at him, but Ron was quicker, holding the case higher than she could reach. She tried to jump up, but was unable to knock it out of his hands.

"Give that back!" She pouted over his laughter.

"I will, once I've examined it."

Hermione crossed her arms, and shot him a look that would make most people quaver.

Ron read the cover, which had been decorated with a number of hand-written hearts. "Take That?"

"They happen to be a very popular group."

Ron wrinkled his nose as he looked at the five blokes on the cover, all dressed in white. "So which poncy git did you fancy back then?"

She smirked at him, her chin jutting out. "The one I still fancy is Gary Barlow."

"Pfft! Come off it."

"Alright, fine. I did find someone better to fancy soon after that."

"Wait, who?"

She shook her head, before swatting him with the rag in her hand. "You!"

"Bloody right."

She thought she heard him mutter the word "wankers" under his breath as he tossed the case back into the box and continued his explorations.

They took their time, putting everything back by hand to enjoy the afternoon together. Hermione was an encyclopedia of musical knowledge, having learned from her father.

She would sing bits and pieces of songs as they worked, her tone slightly off-key, but it made Ron smile.

As they finished up and vanished all the empty boxes, Hermione turned to him. "What did you like best?"

He thought for a moment, scanning the now full shelves. "Definitely the rock music. I liked that Queen group, and that other one. Lead Zuplin?"

"Led Zeppelin."

"Yeah, them. The pop music was alright, so was the hip hop. I liked the... what did you call it again? Catchy beats? I didn't like the country music much."

She smiled proudly. "Look at you, you're a real expert now!"

"My Dad will be so excited."

"I wanted to play one more song, but I'm not sure if you'll like it."

"Go on then."

Hermione pulled a well-worn record from the shelf and placed it on the turntable. A strong feminine voice filled the room over a slow, romantic melody.

"At last... My love has come along."

She closed her eyes at the familiar sound, picturing the times she'd spent in the room.

"I love this song. It's one of Mum's favourites. We would sit in here on Sunday afternoons, reading, while Dad would organize his collection and play whatever latest albums he purchased."

A loud, obvious clearing of Ron's throat broke her out of her memories. Her eyes opened to find her boyfriend with his hand out, his ears blazing red.

"Didn't get the chance to do this properly last time," he mumbled before he looked up, his eyes meeting hers. "May I have a dance with the prettiest girl here?"

She nodded enthusiastically, her hand clasping his before he pulled her close. She sighed as she nestled against his chest, the two of them swaying together.

She was burrowed in his arms, his warmth enveloping her. The strains of melody echoed around as the two of them danced in a sweet embrace.

"I found a thrill to press my cheek to... A thrill that I have never known."

She never thought she would one day dance with Ron Weasley in her father's den. It was like a dream come true.

Hermione sang into his shirt, her words muffled. "Oh, yeah, yeah, and you smile, you smile... Oh, and then the spell was cast."

She looked up and their eyes met again, drawn together like magnets.

"I always loved that line."

"This music does have a kind of magic to it."

"Mmm, it does."

The two of them slowly spun, holding onto each other as if they would fly away, their eyes still locked. After a moment, Hermione laid her head on his chest and spoke up again.

"Would you really have called me pretty at your brother's wedding?"

He rumbled with laughter. "I'd been working up to it that entire month. Just didn't want to lose my chance with him there, so I panicked and didn't say what I had really wanted to say."

"You never had to worry about him."

"I know that now, but back then, I didn't think I was enough. And for the record, you were the prettiest girl there."

"You can be very sweet. And for the record, I didn't want to dance with anyone other than you, Ron. You have always been more than enough."

"You know, that was one of my favourite memories, dancing with you at Bill's wedding. I thought about it a lot this past year."

She squeezed him tightly, trying to convey how much his words meant to her. She too had replayed those moments over and over in her head, trying to remember what it was like to be so close to him. Nothing beat the real thing.

"Do you know how badly I wanted to kiss you that day?"

She stayed firmly pressed to him as they continued their slow dance. "I was really hoping you would."

"I would've done it, if not for the interruption."

She looked up to find him staring down at her, an unmistakable look of love on his face.

"Nothing's stopping you now."

He grinned broadly and leaned forward, his breath mingling with hers for a second before their lips met.

Though the music had faded out, the two held each other on their impromptu dance floor, lost in one another.

At last.

[gamergirl929]

The Aussie And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (USWNT x Reader)

A series of unfortunate events results in you, a talented Australian pro soccer player, being incredibly late to a meet and greet with the USWNT days before camp. Despite each and everything going wrong, there’s one good thing that comes out of the day...

Slight Tobin Heath x Reader

"This is the worst fucking day, ever.” You growl as you race through the streets, in the pouring rain, darting towards the restaurant where you’d be meeting a number of USWNT players, along with the coaches and such.

You’re about to dart across the street, the light still red when someone zips through it, not only nearly clipping you but throwing dirty water all over you and the only clothes you had since the airline lost your luggage.  

“FUCKING HELL.” You yell tugging on your muscle tee that’s now sticking to you more than it had been before, at least it isn’t see through like it was before considering it’s now covered in muddy water.  

You let out a groan before continuing your run, now only a block away from the restaurant.

You hadn’t been able to get a hold of anyone considering someone had decided to swipe your cellphone in the airport, luckily, there was no way they could unlock it, unluckily, you were out a cellphone.  

Finally, you make it to the restaurant, slipping inside you kneel down, panting heavily, your hands on your knees.  

“Excuse me Ms? we have a specific dress code-

The guttural snarl you send the man has him recoiling, his eyes wide.  

“Well, considering the airport lost my clothes, I can’t really dress up too much can I? Also I have others I’m meeting here.” You snarl, the man frowning.  

“I’m sorry for that ma’am but-

You shake your head.  

“Move you damn wanker.”  

You slip passed him, the man basically chasing after you as you move through the ritzy restaurant, shirt covered in mud and soaked through.  

“Ma’am if you don’t leave, I’m going to have to call security.”  

Thankfully, you catch sight of your possible, future teammates, every one of them of course, dressed exquisitely.  

“Ma’am this is a private ven-

“LOOK.” You yell, making the man jump back a few feet, whereas everyone turns to you, all of them immediately recognizing you.  

“I have had a SHITTY day you little tight ass, and damn it, this IS MY VENUE.” You growl, the man shrinking away from you in horror.  

“And if you want me to be dressed up so bad, maybe I’ll go to the dollar store and buy a fucking clip on tie like you did!” You growl, jerking his tie off and throwing it on the floor before you turn around and march away.  

From the group of women comes the sound of a loud snort one of the women mumbling to a number of the other players.

“Well I like her.”  

You run your hands down your face, frowning as you move towards the room full of incredibly talented, powerful and attractive women, all donned in dresses and suits where as you are in a pair of muddy Nikes, dirty black jeans and a completely soaked, muscle tee, that used to be white but is now stained brown thanks to the car that nearly ran you over.  

Vlatko Andonovski approaches you with a smile, glancing down at your disheveled appearance.  

“You look like you’ve been through a lot.” He simply states and you chuckle, nodding.  

“You have, NO idea.”  

Nonetheless, you give the man’s hand a shake.  

“It is nice to finally meet you.”  

"You too sir. I’m so sorry I’m late.” You shake your head. “The airline had issues with the plane so it was delayed, someone stole my phone at the airport, the airport ALSO lost my luggage so I have no clothes.” You motion to your muddy, dirty shirt and jeans.  

“Well that sounds like a real cluster.”  

You turn chuckling when you see most of the USWNT Veterans looking your way.  

“I also nearly got ran over trying to get here.” You run your hands down your face, glaring when you see the man from earlier making his way towards you, two people at his sides.  

“And now I’m probably going to get arrested.”

“Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” One of them says and you cover your face with your hands, letting out a sob-laugh as you shake your head.  

“Is this because I made fun of your tie?” You fake cry, shaking your head.

“Can you at least throw me out the back door so I can keep some of my dignity?”  

“Actually, she’s with us.” Megan steps forward with a smile.  

“Which that little dickhead-

Someone elbows you, that someone being Alex Morgan and you clear your throat.  

“Something you didn’t actually ask.” You say, jaw clenched.  

Vlatko eventually talks the man into taking his two coworkers and leaving but not before you send him a deadly glare that some Australian's would compare to that of a Black Mamba.  

“Get stuffed.” You growl, the man shuffling away quickly.  

“What position do you usually play?” Mallory asks curiously and you sigh, leaning forward, your head hitting the table, shaking the plates and utensils.  

“I usually play the role of the Angry Aussie, but sometimes, I’m a defender.” You smile the young girl giggling.  

You freeze, smiling when you see a little boy waving your way and you smile, moving to your feet and making your way towards him, the little boy grinning.  

“Can I get an autograph?” He asks with a toothy grin and you smile, taking the napkin he hands you with a massive smile.  

“Of course you can little man.”  

You scribble your name and the boy smiles waving the napkin at his parents.  

“There you go buddy.” You ruffle his hair, turning to head back towards the group of USWNT.  

“I had to get an autograph from Australia's worst player.” He sneers and you quickly turn around, eyes narrowed.  

“You little wanker.” You mumble, lunging at the kid who quickly runs away, laughing.  

“What the fuck is wrong with every-

You’re cut off when you turn around, a waitress full of trays of water running right into you, considering she isn’t looking where she’s going.  

You stand still, nodding, your lips in a hard, tight line as cold water seeps through your clothes, droplets running down your face.  

You turn back to the USWNT players who are all watching you, eyes wide.  

“I don’t want to be on the team anymore, I’m going home.”  

You turn around to leave, again nearly running into someone, but that someone gives you a kind smile, that someone being Tobin Heath.  

You open and close your mouth a couple of time, wide Y/E/C orbs darting around the woman’s face.  

“H-Hey.” You mumble nervously, swallowing hard.  

“Hey.” She grins and your cheeks flush, Tobin Heath’s smile was much better and brighter in person, and of course, when it was directed at you.  

“You look like you’ve had a good day...” She smirks and you snort, rolling your eyes, catching sight at the little boy who’d asked you for your autograph out of the corner of your eye, the little boy giving you the finger.  

“Little demon.” You snarl, Tobin following your gaze to the little boy who stops giving you the finger and waves at her sweetly.  

“What the fuck?” You mumble, shaking your head. “Aye! Why don’t you like me?” You yell and the little boy sticks his tongue out.  

“You SUCK!”  

The little boy waves as he and his parents walk away, just now seeing the Arsenal colors poking out from the collar of the boy’s shirt.  

“Now I understand why he’s a wanker.” You mumble, eyes doubling in size when you realize Tobin is still standing next to you.  

You open your mouth to speak, immediately snapping it shut when somehow, another drink is splashed on you, courtesy of the same clumsy waitress from moments before, the woman literally running away from you.  

Tobin’s brown orbs widen as she stares at you, spotting the muscle in your jaw jumping.  

“Again, I don’t want to be on the team.” You glance around. “I’m going home.”  

You go to make your way passed Tobin, but before you can the woman slips her jacket off and places it on your shoulders.  

“You look like you could use this.” She smiles and you nod, glancing down at the jacket now hanging off of you.  

You blush, slipping your arms into the sleeves with a toothy grin.  

“Th-Thanks. Only good thing to happen today.” You chuckle, Tobin patting your shoulder before she turns to move towards the others, immediately heading towards Vlatko.  

Your eyes remain glued to her, that is until you spot the veteran’s of the team out of the corner of your eye, smirking as their eyes dart from you, to Tobin and back.  

You quickly turn around, nearly running into the same waitress from earlier.  

“Honey, you need a new job, you’re too clumsy for this one.” You say softly, your hands on her waists to keep her steady.  

The woman suddenly pulls her hand back, slapping you across the face before rushing away.  

You turn back around, towards the team, a number of them trying to bite back their laughter while others look on in disbelief.  

Tobin is giving you a small, apologetic smile and you groan, caressing your stinging cheek.  

“The United States hates me.”  

                                                          ***

You cover your face with your hands, whining.  

“Please, tell me you’re kidding, you’re not kidding, are you?” You groan, Vlatko unfortunately shaking his head.  

“Looks like there was an error with the room assignments, and you’re not on the list... At all.” He sighs and you shake your head.  

An elderly woman approaches you, tapping your shoulder before motioning to your sleeve.

“You know, tattoos are a sin and-

“STUFF IT YOU OLD HAG.” You yell, the elderly woman’s eyes wide as she shuffles away.  

Kelley snorts, loudly, tears running down her cheeks as she cackles.  

You turn back to Vlatko, wincing.  

“Can we please pretend like that didn’t happen?” You beg, the man smirking.  

“For now.”  

You clap your hands together, looking up at the sky.  

“Thank fuck.”  

“Now we just have to figure out where you’re staying.” He sighs and you slowly nod.  

“She can stay with us, right Tobe?” Christen, grins, her best friend’s cheeks flushed pink.  

“If not I’m sure that lovely woman wouldn’t mind if I roomed with her.” You point to the old woman who’s standing nearby.  

“Aye! You care if we room together? We’ll be together in hell soon anyway.” You shrug the elderly woman glaring at you before leaving the lobby.  

“Well there goes my backup plan.” You shake your head, snickering.  

Kelley shakes her head, clapping her hands.  

“You better make it on the roster, because I love you.”  

“Here’s hoping.” You grin, glancing at Vlatko who shakes his head, laughing.  

“We still have to see you play.” He smirks and you nod, holding your hands up.  

“I know, I know.”  

“Ms. Y/L/N?” You hear someone say and you turn around, ready for someone else to take a shot at you in some way.  

“What?” You ask warily, grinning when you see a man in front of you holding...

“My suitcase!” You grin, taking it from his hands.  

“It was just delivered.” He nods and you surprise him by giving him a hug.  

“Thank you.” You give him a squeeze and the man grins.  

“N-No problem.”  

The man scurries off and you grin, hugging your suitcase to your chest before pulling it open, THANKFULLY everything inside is untouched.  

“So?” Christen says and you turn around, humming.  

Christen points at you, then herself, then Tobin.  

“Roommates?” She asks and you nod, glancing at Tobin who’s smiling softly.  

“Sure.”  

                                                          ***

You sigh loudly, stretching as you make your exit from the shower, the filth of your day melting away with a blisteringly hot shower.  

“Feel better?” Tobin asks and you nod.  

“Absolutely better. I have to say my first day in America was certainly memorable.” You shrug, you glance at the opposite bed, realizing that Christen is already fast asleep.  

“Well someone was knackered.” You smirk, Tobin’s brows furrowing.  

“Tired.” You chuckle and Tobin nods.  

You wordlessly move to the hotel room’s couch, being stopped by a hand on your wrist.  

“I have enough room.” She nods to the bed and your cheeks flush.  

“You don’t have to.” You shake your head and Tobin smiles, giving your wrist a squeeze.  

“If you’re sure... I’ll try not to steal the Mache-.” You point to the bed and Tobin’s brows furrow.  

“Shit, sorry the, the sheets.”  

Tobin nods, grinning.  

“Going to take a bit for me to break the Aussie mindset.” You laugh nervously, pulling the covers back, standing beside the bed, Tobin doing the same.  

The woman smiles, slipping into bed, you slowly, bashfully following suit.  

You stay on the edge of the bed, nearly falling off so you can keep some space between you and Tobin.  

“I showered too you know; you don’t have to sleep on the floor.” She teases and you chuckle, finally scooting closer to the woman.  

“Sorry, I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable...” You mumble and Tobin smirks.  

“You know, I saw your bra the first time we met, I don’t think you could make me uncomfortable.” She shrugs and you groan, loudly.  

“Please, don’t remind me.”  

The two of you talk well into the night, so much so you worry about how tired you’ll be the following morning, but that doesn’t matter, because getting to know Tobin Heath had made you terrible day turn into a pretty great one.  

Meanwhile, in the opposite bed, Christen is grinning, her plan to get the two of you to share a bed had worked perfectly.  

But how far that plan would go had yet to be seen.

[chocolatequeennk]

Forever Timeless, 1/23

Summary: Two months after the Dalek Crucible, the Doctor and Rose are getting used to having the biggest family on Earth. As they visit Leadworth in 1996, Victorian England, a mysterious desert planet, and Elizabethan England, those family and friends often help in unexpected ways. But no matter where they go or who they're with, it's always the Doctor in the TARDIS with RoseTyler--just as it should be.

Ten x Rose, Donna x Lee

Betaed by @saecookie, @rudennotgingr, @pellaaearien, and @jabber-who-key

Part 7 of Being to Timelessness

AO3 | FF.NET | TSP

Chapter One: Family Time

Rose leaned back into the drop cloth-covered couch and looked around the room. Her mum and Pete had purchased a house in Cardiff, and she and the Doctor had spent all day painting and cleaning. After two months spent monitoring the lingering effects of the Reality Bomb, the domesticity was jarring.

A sharp pain hit Rose between her shoulder blades, and she grimaced and rolled her shoulders. Every muscle in her body ached. She was in good shape, but she didn’t usually spend hours holding a paint roller over her head.

A moment later, familiar hands settled on her shoulders and started massaging the tension away. Rose sighed and leaned forward so the Doctor could get that spot in the middle of her back.

She enjoyed the massage for a few minutes, then reached for his hand and tugged, asking him silently to sit down with her. He collapsed beside her, looking every bit as tired as she felt. He had a smudge of dirt on his cheek and his hair stuck straight up.

“What have you and Pete been up to?”

“Putting together the furniture for Tony’s room.” The Doctor rubbed a hand over his face, smudging the dirt even more. “I need to create a setting on the sonic for Allen keys. Those belong on a list of forbidden torture devices.”

Jackie’s snort interrupted Rose’s teasing response. “And here I thought you were some kind of superior alien,” she said as she entered the room, carrying two tall glasses of water. “How the mighty have fallen—defeated by an Ikea flat pack.”

Rose listened to the Doctor’s internal debate, weighing the merits of defending himself against the likelihood that Jackie would dump the glass of water over his head. In the end, he only rolled his eyes and said, “Thankfully, the fate of the universe has never rested on my ability to put together furniture named after obscure Scandinavian locales.”

Jackie handed them the water and sat down on a folding chair. “Speaking of strange places, we haven’t seen Jenny and Donna lately. Where are they at now?”

Rose blinked. “You’ve seen them?”

Her mum raised an eyebrow. “You would have seen them too if you hadn’t been off to Neptune doing whatever,” she retorted. “They stopped by a few weeks ago before catching a plane to New York.”

Rose sipped at her water to cover up the urge to sigh. The trip to Paris had whetted Jenny’s interest in seeing more of the Earth. By airplane, she’d insisted, because that was how humans did it.

Donna had been happy to travel the world with her. Rose suspected the trip was a way for her to keep her mind off the fact that they still hadn’t found Lee. Four months had passed since the Library, and the TARDIS still hadn’t picked up even a trace of him.

Rose abruptly realised her mum was staring at her expectantly. It only took her a second to remember what they’d been talking about.

“They’re in Sydney,” she said. “They’ll be back for your big housewarming party, but they really wanted to see Australia before coming home.”

“Hah!” Jackie wagged her finger at Rose. “Now you know what it’s like, having your only child go off travelling by herself.”

Rose pursed her lips. “It’s not that,” she argued. “Well, not only that,” she amended. “It’s fun having other people on the TARDIS with us. I miss it.”  

“What do you miss?” Pete asked. He pulled a second folding chair over and sat down beside Jackie.

“Having friends travel with us.”

“Apparently I’m not enough company,” the Doctor added, earning a poke in the side from Rose and a snort from Jackie.

“More like you’re a bit too much,” Jackie countered. “Can’t imagine being married to an alien.”

“No, you just married a man from a parallel universe,” Pete interjected.

Jackie rolled her eyes, then looked at Rose. Rose groaned at the look in her eye. Interrogation time, she warned the Doctor.

“Speaking of marrying an alien…” Jackie raised an eyebrow and looked at Rose, then at the Doctor, and back again. “You mentioned something about weird alien rituals.”

Rose opened her mouth, but before she could start explaining the bond, her mother started rambling.

“I’ve been thinking, maybe you had to wear funny hats? Or defeat someone in armed combat?” She pointed at the Doctor. “Maybe Rose had to go back in time to ask your family for your hand in marriage.”

“Nothing like that, Mum,” Rose said quickly before Jackie could continue on that train of thought and bring back painful memories of Gallifrey.

“Well, what was it then?” She narrowed her eyes. “You better not have been naked for this wedding.”

“No! We were fully clothed.” The Doctor felt his neck heat up.  

Help!

Rose took his hand and he let out a slow breath. “Leave ‘im be, Mum,” she scolded. “It was mostly just like a wedding. I wore a beautiful dress and we exchanged vows and rings and everything.”

“Well that doesn’t sound too weird.”

“Yeah…” Rose squeezed his hand and he squeezed back, agreeing with her sudden decision. “I was mostly teasing when I said that.”

Jackie crossed her arms over her chest. “So your wedding was completely normal?” she asked, dubious.

Rose bit her lip. “Well, we were alone in the TARDIS,” she said slowly. “And we did a handfasting because that’s part of the Doctor’s tradition.”

“Hmmm…” Jackie raised an eyebrow.

Rose knew she didn’t believe her, but explaining the bond was a far longer conversation than she wanted to have right now. Some day she’d try, but not today.

“It was perfect,” she said, wanting to move away from the alienness of their wedding.

As she thought about that day, something occurred to her. “And our wedding anniversary is only two weeks away,” she added.

The Doctor blinked, and she was glad she wasn’t the only one who’d lost track of time. “We’ll have to go someplace to celebrate.”

“Mind if I plan this trip?”

He smiled and brushed his thumb over her wrist. “I’d love it.”

“Rose?”

The childish voice drew everyone’s attention, and they all looked over at Tony, standing in the doorway.

“Yes, Tony?”

He shuffled forward, a book in his hand. “Will you and the Doctor read to me?”

The Doctor scooted over and patted the cushion in between himself and Rose. “You bet!”

The little boy grinned, then darted across the room and jumped up onto the couch. Rose grabbed the book from him before he could stab himself in the eye with it or something.

“Under the Deep Blue Sea.”

As Rose turned to the first page, she suddenly knew exactly where she wanted to take the Doctor for their anniversary.

oOoOo

The Doctor followed Rose as she pushed her way to the front of the crowd waiting at Heathrow. “The board says their flight landed half an hour ago,” she told him. “They should be almost through customs by now.”

When the first passengers started trickling in a few minutes later, the Doctor gave Rose one end of the sign they’d made. Around them, other people likewise held up their signs—Limousine for Mr. Arbuckle, etc.

The trickle turned into a solid wave of people. “Can you see them, Doctor?” Rose asked as she strained to look through the crowd.

“No… Wait! Yes! Hold the sign up, Rose.”

They waved it madly, and a moment later they were rewarded by familiar laughter. Rose leaned sideways and saw Jenny and Donna walking towards them, wheelie bags in tow.

“TARDIS for Miss Noble and Miss Tyler?” Donna rolled her eyes.

The Doctor turned the sign around and studied it. “Well, we wouldn’t want anyone else to think they could get a free ride.”

“We told you we’d take the train to Cardiff, though,” Jenny said.

Donna nudged her gently with her elbow. “You owe me ten quid, Jenny. I told you they wouldn’t be able to resist surprising us.”

The Doctor’s mouth fell open, and when he looked over at Rose he was thankful to see that at least she was as surprised as he was.

Jenny hitched her backpack up on her shoulders. “I still say giving them the flight information was cheating.”

“I didn’t realise we were so predictable,” the Doctor muttered.

Donna smirked and turned her suitcase so he could take the handle. “We just know you too well.”

Rose shook her head and grabbed Jenny’s suitcase. “Come on, we should get out of the way. The TARDIS is just a short bus ride away.”

Thirty minutes later, the Doctor unlocked the door and held it open while Rose, Donna, and Jenny walked inside. He heard Donna and Jenny sigh in unison, and raised his eyebrows at them.

“Glad you don’t have to take a train after travelling for over twenty-four hours?” he guessed.

“Definitely,” Donna said fervently.

“And glad we can hop into the Vortex and get some sleep without Gran knowing we didn’t go straight to Cardiff,” Jenny added.

The Doctor and Rose exchanged a glance, then Rose gave Donna and Jenny a sly smile. “About that… Are you set on going to Cardiff?”

Donna crossed her arms over her chest. “The housewarming party is next week. I’ve only met your mum a few times, but I have a pretty good idea of what will happen if you miss it.”

The Doctor grimaced and rubbed at his cheek, making everyone laugh.

Rose chuckled and shook her head. “Yeah, you’re right about that. But our anniversary is the day after tomorrow, so we’re going on a short holiday before the big shindig. We can drop you in Cardiff for the week, or—”

“Or,” Donna said before Rose could continue.

Jenny nodded eagerly. “You mean you’ll drop us off on another planet, yeah?”

“If you want,” Rose said.

Jenny and Donna exchanged a look, then broke out in matching grins. “Yes!”

Rose hugged Donna and kissed Jenny on the cheek, then gently pushed them both towards the corridor. “Go lie down. We’ll drop you off in the morning after you’ve slept off some of the jet lag.” She leaned against a strut and watched them go, while the Doctor sent them into the Vortex just like Jenny had asked.

He slid the dematerialisation lever into place, and the time rotor quietly chugged up and down. The transition into the Vortex was so smooth that Rose hardly felt it.

A soft mental tug caught her attention, and she looked over at the Doctor. He’d sat down on the jump seat, and now he patted the seat beside him.

Rose pushed off from the strut and walked around the console, hopping up to sit beside the Doctor like she’d done a thousand times. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him.

“What are you thinking?”

“This life,” she said, talking slowly so she could put the words together as they came to her. “It’s… so much more than I thought it would be.”

She paused, and the Doctor left the silence empty so she could think.

“I thought I’d lost this at Canary Wharf,” she said finally.

“Lost what?”

“Just… human things,” she said, testing the words as she went. “Helping family move. Meeting them at the airport.”

She tilted her head back so she could look at the Doctor. “I love our life, traveling through time and space. And if I could never have anything else, this is what I’d choose. Every time.”

“But we get to have more,” he supplied, understanding what she was trying to get at. “Our life in the TARDIS, and a family on Earth.”

“Yeah. Time and space… and family.”

[i-like-5sos]

Awesome Can you make one where Ashton has a 16 year old sister and her boyfriend has sex with her without consent and has a baby and her boyfriend leaves her and Ashton and the boys help her get ready for the baby,the day the baby is born she has a boy and she names it fletcher after Ashton who she looks up to and adores!!

Hi there ! Thank you so much for the request :) <3

Anything For You

POV: Ashton Irwin 

Word Count: 1991 (short and sweet)

Warnings: Swearing, one reference to the cause of pregnancy (nothing detailed at all).

Summary: Ashton’s younger sister finds herself pregnant and he supports her throughout her pregnancy with the help of Calum, Luke, and Michael.

A/N:  So just so everyone reading knows, I have taken it upon myself to not include anything that has happened before the 5th month of this character’s pregnancy as I believe it could be triggering to readers. I did however, include everything else you’ve requested :) I hope you all enjoy!

5 Months In - Gender Reveal Ultrasound

As I sit in the waiting room, tapping my fingers on the hard plastic armrest of the uncomfortable chair I find myself in, I begin to notice the pattern my eyes have made darting between the clock, the door she left through, and the model uterus that sat on the table across the room. It’s been about 25 minutes since she went to find out the gender of her baby, and I feel like I might actually be going insane in this room. I sigh deeply and pull out my phone for the fifth time to try to distract myself again. I notice a text from Calum asking if we know the gender yet, and I quickly send a reply letting him know that there’s been no updates and that they wouldn’t let me in the room with her.

15 minutes pass and finally I hear the door open and watch as my sister enters the room and smiles wildly at me. Is it too soon to say she’s glowing? Maybe. But I swear to god she is.

“So? What are you having?” I say too loudly, drawing the attention of the very pregnant woman sitting next to the uterus.

“Calm down Ash,” She laughs softly, “I’ll tell you in the car to save these poor people the damage to their ear drums.”

…

I practically run to the car and unlock it quickly before sitting down in the driver’s seat and wait for her to join me. She takes her time walking over, smiling to herself at the obvious torture she’s putting me through at this moment.

What feels like an eternity later, she joins me in the car, sitting in the passenger’s seat. Before she even has the door shut, I’m asking her again about the results of the ultrasound. She chuckles and looks towards me before covering her ears.

“It’s a boy!”

“Ohmygod!” I shout out and crash into her hard, hugging her as best as I could manage around the center console of the car.

As I pull back, I remember the surprise I have waiting for her in the backseat.

“Wait here.” I say as I hold up a finger and quickly dash out of the car to the trunk to grab her the gift.

I return with the small piece of folded-up fabric.

“You said you weren’t going to be crazy about this” She said shaking her head.

“That doesn’t sound like me at all. I was clearly lying.” I chuckle as she shakes her head. “Just humor me.” I pass her the small white fabric piece.

I watch with joy as she unfolds the infant-sized shirt. Her eyes water slightly as she reads the writing on printed on the front – ‘mama’s boy’. She smiles softly as she looks back to me.

“Ashton this is too cute. I can’t wait to see him in it…. How did you know it would be a boy though?”

“As much as I would love to admit that I have the ability to predict the future… I didn’t know. I actually have another in the trunk that says, ‘mama’s girl’ as well.” I say and shrug.

She laughs and looks down at the shirt once more before putting it close to her chest and smiling softly again.

“I love it, thank you so much.”

“Anything for you”

 8 Months In – Baby Shower

“Luke just texted saying they’re here. Get over here Mike!” I say loudly to Michael, who’s been eating the majority of the blue cupcakes at the small snack table we’ve set up.

He quickly joins Calum and I under the archway made of blue balloons near the gate, and we wait for the sound of Luke’s car doors shutting. I chuckle softly as her voice becomes more and more clear as they approach the back gate.

“Luke, can you please just take off my blindfold. I promise I won’t tell Ashton... Call me crazy but I think there’s a rule that says pregnant people can’t walk around blindfolded.”

“No way. The blindfold was my idea. And I don’t see any pregnancy rule books here so I’ll be the one making the rules.” Luke replies as he opens the gate and then guides my younger sister towards the three of us. “Okay we’re here… now don’t move. You can take it off in three… two…” He lets go of her arm and quickly runs over to stand with us. “one!”

She pulls of blindfold off and her face immediately lights up as she takes in the baby shower wonderland that once was Calum’s backyard. The large balloon archway, the table overflowing with gifts from the four of us, the diaper cake, the actual cake covered in baby blue icing surrounded by different blue themed snacks, the blue streamers and balloons covering the entire backyard and, of course, the table containing all kinds of baby shower games the four of us were able to find online.

“Guys! You shouldn’t have! I had my baby shower last week! You know this… You were there!”

“Yeah but… it sucked. There were no balloons and the only snack you had were pretzels… who even likes pretzels?” Michael says shrugging. “And besides, we’ve had this planned from the moment you and Ashton face timed us revealing little Michael Junior’s gender.”

“Michael, how many times does she have to tell you that she’s not naming him Michael Junior? We all know the little guy’s name is going to be Calum Junior.” Calum interjects and gets a swift shove from Michael.

“If she’s naming the baby after anyone it’s going to be named after me” Luke says proudly. “I’m the one that brought her safely to the best baby shower anyone’s ever seen!”

She laughs loudly and shakes her head “You guys are too much.”

…

Once all the gifts have been opened, the guys are trying to see how many balloons they can fit into Calum’s pool as we eat our cake and watch them.

“Thank you again for this amazing baby shower.”

“It was worth it to see you smile. You deserve to be happy.”

She sits there quietly for a moment before responding. “You’ve done so much for me over these last 8 months and I just want you to know how thankful I am to you and to the other guys too… I don’t know what I would do without you four.” She says with a layer of sadness to her voice and looks down at her cake.

“Hey now, you’re okay, you’re safe, you’re loved… You both are. We are here for you no matter what. Never forget that.” I say, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze.

Our attention is pulled away from the moment as we hear a loud crash of someone – Luke – falling into the pool, followed by the booming laughter of Calum and Michael.

 9.5 Months In – The Night of The Birth

Everything is black as my eyes fly open in response to the sound of my little sister yelling out my name from the hallway as she bangs on my bedroom door. I shoot out of the bed as quickly as I can once I realize what was happening. I open the door to see her standing there in her pajamas in a pool of liquid on the floor.

“Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Okay. We can do this.” I mumble and rush past her to grab the hospital bag in the hallway and begin down the stairs to get the car keys.

“Ashton.” She calls out to me from the top of the stairs.

I turn back to see her staring at me with fear and impatience on her face. Oh right. I run back up the stairs to help her walk down them and continue my mission to the front door. I throw my shoes on, grab the keys, and unlock the door. I begin mentally planning our route to the hospital while trying to decide whether to call or to text the boys once we were on our way, and I pause to take a moment to try and figure out what time it was in Australia to determine whether or not we’d wake up mom with our call... What time is it here?

“Ashton!” She says loudly, snapping me out on my haze.

“What? What did we forget? We have the bag and the keys, and you…” I mentally go over the checklist we had mad a few weeks ago for this exact moment.

“Your shirt maybe?” She says, gesturing to my bare chest.

“Fuck. Okay yeah maybe I need that.” I pat the pockets of my pajama pants and realize my phone is still charging in my room. “Might need my phone too… I’ll be right back.”

I dash back up the stairs, taking two at a time. As I get to my room, I grab the first shirt I see and quickly unplug my phone before running back down to join my sister at the front door.

“Okay, fully clothed. Now let’s go.”

9.5 Months In – After the Birth

As I stare at this beautiful child in my little sister’s arms, I can’t help but smile softly at the site before me. I’m an uncle! The sound of the boys entering the room pulls my eyes from the ball of sweetness before me.

“Oh my god… He’s so small!” Luke says, darting to the newborn.

“Look at him! So precious! How are you after… you know… birth and whatnot?” Calum asks, sitting down on the edge of the hospital bed.

“Tired” She replies, stretching her back and then smiling back down at her baby.

As we all take turns holding the newborn, we all fall in love with him instantly. How could we not? Michael promises to teach him how to shred on guitar, Calum somehow was able to find a bucket hat for a newborn and has the little guy wearing it, and Luke introduced himself and pretended to shake the baby’s hand.  

“Okay… we’ve waited long enough. What’s his name?!” Michael asks excitedly as Luke hands the newborn back to his mother.

“I gave it a lot of thought and I finally decided on a name that I can only hope he will live up to… Fletcher.” She smiles softly as she looks over to me.

I’m speechless as I stare at the young woman I’ve known for the entirety of her life and have loved for every second of it. She has chosen to name her child after me. Me. I am truly honored as a tear slips out of the corner of my eye. I wrap my arms around her and Fletcher and hold the two of them, stunned.

As I let go and sit down in the chair beside the bed, I look back at the two of them.

“I don’t have the words to tell you how I feel right now. I am truly honored.” I finally manage to say.

“You have helped me through the worst days of my life… and you’re still here with me on the best day of my life. Ashton, you helped me more than I could ever say. I wanted my son to be proud of his name, and I know that the more he knows you, the prouder he will be. You’re my role model and I would be proud to have a son that grown up to be half the man you are.” She smiles at Fletcher, and then at me.

I get up to hug them both again and kiss my sister on the forehead. “Thank you so much” I whisper softly.

“I guess Fletcher’s a nice name… I still like Michael Junior though.” Michael jokes.

We all laugh together as we sit in the hospital room and continue to fall in love with Fletcher.

[maaaaaatryoshka0325]

Fast Lane - Bang Chan Street Racer AU

Warnings: fluffy, suggestive themes, some angst (duh), Bang Chan (y’all know what I mean)

Word count: 6.8K+

If you guys don’t know what ‘F/N’ means, it means ‘friends name’

Your eyes focused on the girl walking in the middle, her shorts too short, high knee checkered socks on with a pair of checkered vans. She held two flags in her hands, as she was the keeper of their time. The engines revved, and people cheered.

You watched another car pull up, a jet black Bugatti Chiron. You knew who the owner was, everyone knew. He always had the newest, fastest cars, and because of that, he usually always won. Cheers got even louder a he began to pull up to the starting line, as it was going to start soon. He stepped out of the car and people greeted him, all with fake friendly smiles.

There was something about him you had always liked, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. Maybe it was the way he never rejected anyone, always being super friendly towards anyone who came his way. It could be because the last person who crash and their car caught in fire, he was the one to pull them out, completely unafraid of the raging flames and the ungodly smell of the oil and gas leaking. Or it could be the way he made eye contact with you every time. When his eyes met yours, they held a type of want in them, the type that made your heart flutter.

It wasn’t the type of want that shone in the other guys eyes when they looked at women, no, not that. His eyes weren’t hungry, but curious. Curious like he wanted to know you, who you truly are, and not just the woman you’d be in bed. Your friend bumped you and giggled and you looked up, seeing his eyes on you.

He gave you one of his devilish side smiles, his dimple poking through his cheek. You blushed and smiled back, a little too shyly for your friends liking.

“C’mon Y/N, you’re beautiful! You need to be more confident!” She said.

She stopped and looked up and shook your shoulder excitedly as he looked at you again, before slipping into his car. The other racers entered their cars, all revving their engines. All bets were on Chan, people were throwing money towards his name like their lives depended on it. His car revved, a loud roar like a lions before the girl threw the flags down, and everyone flew past her. Chan’s car was so fast you couldn’t even see it take off in the dark night.

People cheered and cheered, you could hear everyone from the opposite side of the high way. Their loud cheers let you know that Chan was winning, and you could imagine his shiny black car flying down the highway with ease. The cheers began to pick up through the crowd, slowly making its way to where you were, like a domino effect. You watched Chan’s car gracefully glide through the finish line, which was messily spray painted on the road. Loud cheers and screams of his name echoed around you as he stepped out of his car, his light brown hair fell messily over a bandanna, his leather jacket hugging his broad shoulders in the most attractive way possible. (SEE GIF)

He smiled as everyone crowded around and and praised him, a bunch of girls in the tiniest clothing rubbing up his chest and shoulders. You turned back around, your attention on your friend as she talked to another racer, Minho. You felt dumb thinking he looked at you in interest, why would he? He has all those girls in those skimpy outfits all over him, so why would he waste a second glance on you? Minho seemed very interested in your friend, his dark eyes completely concentrated on her when she talked.

You went to turn towards the other racers, when your face almost met someone’s broad chest. You looked up and saw Chan standing there, a smile on his face.

“Hey.” He greeted you with his charming side smile.

“H-Hey.” You greeted back, feeling flustered at how close he suddenly was.

His cologne hit your sense and made your stomach flutter with butterflies. It was a nice scent, not too strong, the perfect amount to have your heart hammering in your chest and your stomach fluttering with butterflies.

“What’s your name?” He asked, his dark eyes trained on yours.

He was so close to you, his plump lips soft and looked wet, smelling of honey. He was wearing chapstick, and you were almost positive your heart was going to explode.

“Y/N.” You answered, your eyes finding his.

“I’m Chan.” He introduced himself.

“I know.” You said with a small giggle.

“Oh? Well I’ll tell you something you don’t know.” He said, leaning forward to say it lowly. “My birth name is Chris, Chan is just my Korean name. You can call me Chris if you want.”

Your face began to heat up and he smiled at you, his own heart fluttering. He thought it was cute how flustered you got, how shy you were.

“Wanna go for a spin?” He asked, pointing towards his car.

“I would love too, but I’m not at all into the um... Extremely fast stuff.” You said awkwardly.

He let out a small laugh, running his fingers through his hair.

“I wouldn’t go fast like that with precious cargo in my car.” He said.

Your face turned bright red at his words, and you felt your friend nudge you forward. Her eyes were encouraging you, and you saw encouragement towards Chan in Minho’s eyes.

“I’ll meet you back at your place later.” She said, motioning her eyes towards Minho, indicating she was going somewhere with him.

You nodded as Chan led you to his car, unlocking the doors and opening the passenger door for you. The car doors open upwards, and he smiled at you as he closed it for you.

Such a gentleman.

He got in on the drivers side, and you felt him reach across you. Your heart hammered into your chest as he pulled on the seat belt and buckled you in. He paused as his face was directly in front of you, a small smile on his face.

“It gets caught a lot. Gotta keep you safe though.” He said with a sweet smile.

He sat back in his seat and slipped his own seat belt on, and you felt some sort of relief knowing he did so. He pulled away from the races, people still cheering when they watched his car glide down the highway. You were relieved as he kept his promise, not going too fast. Yeah he was decently above the speed limit, but it was the normal “there’s no traffic so I can do what I want” speed.

“So, where are you from?” He asked.

“(Hometown/Country).” You answered.

“Wow, really? I’m from Sydney Australia.” He said.

“That explains the accent.” You giggled.

“Hm? Do you like accents?” He asked.

“I like yours.” You said.

You realized a little too late what you said, but the smile that stretched across his face made your heart flutter. His eyes remained on the road, but you noticed he kept slide glancing at you.

He pulled up to a calm lake and opened your door. You stepped out and he smiled at you as he lead you along the lake, the cool breeze becoming bitter against your skin, as you were wearing a light sweater. He seemed to notice you shiver and took off his leather jacket, putting it over your shoulders. You noticed he was wearing a short sleeved white shirt that hugged his chest and shoulders, and blushed.

“It’s cold and you’re wearing a T-shirt-“ you started, attempting to take off his jacket.

“I’ll be fine, I like cooler weather.” He said, his hands over yours to stop you from taking his jacket off.

You smiled at him and slipped your arms through the sleeves, loving how big it was on you. His eyes sparkled as he watched you walk around with his jacket in, admiring how the bottom brushed your thighs. He walked closely to you, his cologne hitting you from where he was, and from his jacket. The moon reflected on the calm water, casting an ethereal glow. Not only was the reflection ethereal, but so was Chris. The way the moonlight hit the side of his face and lit up his handsome features made your heart throb.

He took you to an opened spot over looking the lake, sitting on the grass. You sat beside him and looked around, admiring all the of the flowers and willow trees beautifully decorating the scene. He looked at you, his eyes taking in all of your features. Your cute nose, your beautiful eyes, your kissable lips, all of it. You turned your head and looked at him, giving him a sweet smile that made his heart pound a mile a minute.

“I always come here to ease my mind when I’m stressed or over thinking. I figured I’d share it with you.” He said with a soft smile.

“You’re so generous.” You giggled, looking at the water that was gently moving along. 

You both remained silent for bit, enjoying each other’s company as you admired how beautiful the spot was. He slowly stood up, flashing you that handsome side grin. (YA’LL KNOW WHICH ONE.)

‘It’s getting late princess, I should bring you back.” He said.

Your heart fluttered at the nickname as you stood up, following him to his car. He opened the door and lifted it for you again, his eyes on you as you sat down in the passenger seat. He made his way to the drivers side, sitting down and looking at you with a sweet smile. 

You told him your address and he drove to your house, his eyes glancing over at you as he played low music. You heard him sing and you smiled, your eyes landing on his plump lips.

“You have a beautiful voice,” You said.

“No voice is more beautiful than yours.” He said with a small smile, grabbing your hand and kissing it as his eyes stayed on the road.

When you got out front of your apartment, you turned towards him and gave him a sweet smile. 

“Thank you for tonight, here, you should take your jacket back.” You said, going to take your jacket off.

“Don’t take it off, hold onto it. Now you have to come see me at the races in a few days to give it back.” He said with a sweet smile.

“I’d be there even without it.” You said with a smile.

He kissed your hand again and waited until you were inside to drive off, making sure you were safe.  “Y/N!” 

You jumped and turned around, your eyes wide as you stared at F/N. She had a big smile on her face as she looked at you, grabbing your hands excitedly.

“What happened? Did he go fast the whole time? Did he kiss you? Is that his jacket? OOOO, DID YOU SLEEP WITH HIM?” She bombarded you with questions and you laughed, shaking your head.

“No I didn’t sleep with him dummy, and yes this is his jacket. He kissed my hand and told me to hang on to it and that now I have to be at the races in a few days to give it back.” You said with a big grin. “What about you and Minho?”

“He took me to get food then we walked around for a bit, he’s so sweet! EEK! We have to go to the races!” She said excitedly, jumping up and down.

“Trust me, we’re definitely going.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

You stood with F/N as you both had gone to the races again a few days later. Minho was getting ready as he stood and talked to you both, and you couldn’t help but smile at him and F/N. Minho had a cold demeanor, but he was so sweet when it came down to your friend. He looked at you for a moment and smiled, pointing with his face. You looked over and saw Chan approaching you, his soft eyes trained on you.

“Still wearing my jacket I see.” He said with a sweet smile, another leather jacket on his body.

You nodded and took it off, handing it to him. He took it back, making you feel rather sad, but he slid the one he had on from around his shoulders and put it on you, a small smile on his face.

“What are you doing?” You asked in a giggle,

“That one is warm and smells more like me, and this one? It smells like you, now it’s my lucky charm, and so are you.” He said, kissing your hand and giving you a charming smile.

Hoots and hollers came from the men around you, all cheering Chan on as he was talking to you. You noticed a couple jealous glances from some of the girls around you, but you pushed it away as your eyes met Chan’s.

“Cheer me on, yeah?” He asked, turning away.

“Always.” You said.

He looked back at you and smiled as he hopped back into his car, revving the engine and lining up at the starting line. The girl who always started them walked in the middle, her eyes finding yours as she gave you a smile. She threw the flags down and the cars took off, flying down the highway. She walked over to you and you felt F/N tense, wondering if she was going to give you trouble.

“You’re the girl Chan has been raving about?” She asked. “Y/N?”

“U-Uh yeah.” You responded, feeling a little intimidated by her beauty.

“Ah, good! I’m Yenna, Hyunjin’s girlfriend. Chan will treat you great! He’s a sweetheart, and really picky with his women.” She said with a big smile.

You felt F/N relax and you did too, giving her a big smile.

“It’s nice to meet you Yenna, I’m Y/N and this is F/N.” You said, introducing you and your friend.

“F/N? Like the girl Minho fawns over?” She asked.

“Yup! That’s me!” F/N said proudly.

You and Yenna giggled at her response, before you both turned to loud cheers. Chan was in first place, his car flying towards the finish line.

“GO CHAN!’ You yelled happily, the other two cheering with you.

Chan’s car flew through the finish line and pulled over to the side. He stepped out and people swarmed him. But he didn’t seem to notice, his eyes wandered until they landed on you, a smile stretching across his face as he walked through the crowd and approached you. You walked over to him and met him half way, his arm wrapping around your waist as he gave you his charming half smile.

“I told you that you’re my good luck charm.” He purred.

“You would’ve won anyways.” You giggled.

“Not without you.” He whispered.

He looked at F/N and smiled as she giggled as she pushed at Minho’s chest, and you could tell he was taking her home tonight.

“I’ll bring Y/N home.” Chan said.

Her eyes brightened as she nodded and gave you a thumbs up as she hopped in her car, following Minho out to his house. You had your own car, but you often left it at home, as F/N liked to drive. 

He once again opened your door for you, then hopping into the drivers seat. His eyes were on yours as he reached over and fastened your seat belt, your eyes on his plump lips as he did so. He smiled down at you and then put his own seat belt on before taking off, his eyes fixed on the road. You admired his face as it focused, his eyes completely scanning the road as drove. He gave you a quick glance and smiled as he drove towards your place, surprisingly remembering where it was. He pulled up and smiled at you, and you nodded your head towards your apartment.

“Wanna come in? We can hangout for a bit if you want.” You said with a smile.

He quickly nodded and parked his car, following you into your apartment. Chan looked around as you led him inside, a smile on his face.

“You and F/N are like sisters, huh?” He asked, noticing all of the pictures the two of you had up on your walls.

“Yeah, she practically lives here too, she took over the guest room.” You laughed.

“Sound’s like a best friend, actually, it sounds like my friend Felix. You’ve seen him, right? He’s usually with me, but he’s away right now. He’ll be back for the next race.” He said.

“I’ve seen him a few times. He’s the skinny one with the pudgy cheeks, right?” You asked.

Chan laughed and nodded.

“He’s pretty muscular for being skinny.” He laughed.

“Oh? You stare at your friends body?” You asked.

“Not like that! We just workout together. Him, Changbin, Jisung, and I.” He laughed.

“You workout?” You asked, giggling.

“Yeah, wanna see?” He asked, raising his shirt a bit, some of his muscle showing.

“Chan!” You yelped, turning around and covering your blushing face.

He laughed and shook his head, amusement in his eyes.

“I’m only teasing you.” He giggled, ruffling your hair. “You’re so cute when you’re flustered.

‘Yeah yeah yeah.” You muttered, pouting as your cheeks remained red.

“What? I’m serious. You really are cute Y/N.” He said with a smile.

“Yah! Stop!” You yelled, your cheeks turning redder.

He pinched your cheeks and you yelped, making him chuckle.

“Such a cutie!” He laughed.

You pushed his hands off and ran away from him, making him giggle as he grabbed you by your waist. You yelped as you lost your footing from him grabbing you, causing you to fall. He quickly caught you and went down instead, landing sitting up. You straddled his waist, your cheeks bright red as he looked at you, an innocent smile on his face. He giggled as you struggled to find your words, his hand gently cupping your chin and pulling it foreword, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

Chan’s kissed were better than you imagined (Yes, you had imagined his plump lips on your own) and tasted of milk and honey. You closed your eyes and leaned into the kiss as both of your lips molded together. He deepened the kiss, his tongue swiping your bottom lip. His hands were around your waist as you gave him entry to your mouth, his tongue quickly finding yours and dancing with your own. You lied about his kisses being good, because they were the best you’ve ever fucking had, they were perfect. His tongue quickly won the dominance fight, but it never stopped it elegant, yet sloppy waltz with your own. You let out a tiny moan as your hips rolled against his own, making him let out a low grunt, his finger digging into your hips. Your fingers clutched his shirt tightly, making it wrinkled. His collar bones were exposed as you bunched his shirt in your fists, tiny whimpers leaving your mouth as your tongue’s continued to press into each other.

He pulled away and panted, trying to catch his breath. His dark eyes were full of desire, but they held so much adoration in them that your heart fluttered.

“As much as I’d love to see every bit of you and make you mine, I think I should take you on a date first.” He rasped, a sweet smile playing on his lips.

“I’d love that.” You giggled, letting go of his shirt and rubbing along his chest to get the wrinkles out.

He had a built chest, and you blushed as your hands ran along it to help him get it to look normal again. He grabbed your hands and pressed kisses to both of them, his eyes full of affection.

“How about in two days? I’ll take you on a date.” He asked, hope in his eyes.

“Perfect” You giggled.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You looked down at your outfit, smiling as you admired how the tight, ripped jeans hugged your ass and hips, looking elegant on your legs. You wore a black shirt with a logo beneath (Use your imagination) with Chan’s leather jacket as a top. Your cute black boots looked good with the outfit, making you smile. You heard F/N come in and squealed as she looked you up and down.

“You look great Y/N!” She squealed.

“Thank you!” You giggled, admiring your dark make up, your (Straightened/curled) hair, and your outfit. You heard the door bell rang and hopped down the stairs, opening the door and seeing Chan. His eyes met yours and he gave you a big smile, walking into your apartment.

“You look ethereal.” He breathed, his eyes bright.

“So do you.” You giggled.

His brown hair was parted, his plump lips moistened with chapstick. He wore another leather jacket, a black under shirt, and tight, ripped jeans that had a chain hanging from them, and black combat boots. You admired him as he smiled at you, placing a sweet kiss on your cheek.

He drove to a park along the river, a bunch of vendors with food trucks and a park area with lights and hammocks along it.

(This is Penn’s landing, it’s close to where I live and I love going there) (For more visual representation, look up ‘Penn’s landing harbor park’)

Chan walked along with you, the night sky lit up by all the lights. Chan led you to a truck, a smile on his lips.

“This is the best one.” He said.

You both ordered and he paid, insisting he was the one taking you on a date. You both sat down and ate, your eyes admiring all of the lights and the hammocks, seeing all of the couples laying inside of them. Chan noticed and chuckled, leading you towards one when the two of you finished eating. He laid in it first, pulling you in with him. Your body was on top of his, his arms around you. You blushed and laid your head on his chest, listening to his heart hammering against his chest and giggling. He blushed a little bit, letting out a small laugh through his nose.

“Don’t make fun of me, I get nervous too.” He said with a soft chuckle.

“Awe, you’re nervous Channie? You’re so cute.” You giggled.

He groaned and pulled you closer, burying his face into your hair. You giggled and closed your eyes, his warmth making you feel at home as your pounding heart began to relax. His fingers began to thread through your hair, his other hand running up and down your back as you melted into him, his touch leaving sparks wherever they were. He pressed soft kisses to your hair, making you smile.

“Thank you for tonight, Chan. I loved every minute of it.” You whispered.

“It’s not the end.” He said softly, looking up at the sky.

You looked up, admiring the thousands of stars over head as a loud boom filled your ears, and bright colors lit up the sky. You watched in awe, your head rested on his chest as the fireworks boomed over head in different colors. His fingers traced circles on your hips as he admired your face, half illuminated by the fireworks. He smiled at you, his eyes full of affection. You looked back at him and smiled, burying your face into the crook of his neck.

After the fireworks he led you to his car, as always, opening your door as you got in. He hopped into the drivers seat and fixed your seat belt for you, this time stealing a quick kiss before he pulled away. You blushed and giggled as he fastened his own seat belt, a sweet smile on his face. He pulled away from the park, heading back to your apartment, his hand resting lightly on your thigh as he did so.

He took the highway back, as it was quicker and he didn’t want to keep you out too late, as you had work the next day. He got off at an exit, hitting a light before heading to another part of the highway. You heard revving and looked over, seeing two guys on motorcycles looking at you. A few more pulled up behind you and on Chan’s side. You saw his jaw tighten and his eyes narrowed. His eyes watched the light before he quickly turned his head and looked at you, his eyes dark.

“Do you trust me?” He asked.

“Chan what-”

“Do you trust me?” He repeated.

You slowly nodded and he tightened your seat belt. When the light turned green, his foot slammed down on the pedal, literally putting the pedal to the metal. His car flew and you closed your eyes, covering your face with your hands. You heard the motorcycles in the distance, seemingly following you for awhile.

“Hang on Y/N.” Chan said as he took a sudden turn, the motorcycles passing the turn due to going too fast. 

Chan kept up with his quick speed until he knew they were gone and he slowed down. He sighed in relief as he looked over at you. Your feet were on the seat, your hands pressed to your knees as your eyes were covered by them. He slowly reached his hand out and rubbed your thigh, a soft exhale coming from him.

“It’s over babygirl, I promise. I’m so sorry.” He said gently.

You slowly uncovered your eyes, fear making them wide. His gentle hand rubbed up and down your thigh, his gentle voice relaxing you as he reassured you it was over and done with.

“It’s okay babygirl, it’s okay.”

When you pulled up to your house Chan got out, opening your door. He followed you up your stairs to your apartment, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

“I’m so sorry about that babygirl, I really am. I didn’t know that would happen - fuck - I’m so sorry.” He said softly, kissing the back of your shoulder.

“Chan, what was that?” You asked.

“I raced their friend two years ago and he crashed and died, and they haven’t left me alone ever since.” He said softly.

You turned and looked at him, a lost look on his face as he looked down at you. You cupped his cheeks and kissed his lips, then his forehead.

“It’s not your fault Chan. Not what happened to their friend or what happened tonight.” You said softly.

He smiled at you and kissed your forehead, a hopeful look in his eye.

“So, you’ll stick around with me? You’ll still go on dates with me?” He asked.

“I trust you Chan, more than you’d ever realize.” You said with a smile.

“I’m glad. You should get some sleep, I’ll see you for the races?” He suggested, his eyes bright.

“Of course you will silly, and you should sleep too. Your eye bags are bag.” You said, running your fingers along his left eye.

He kissed your hand and gave you a sweet smile. “Anything for you, my dear.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A lot of people showed up for this specific race, and you realized why. The guys that had followed you were in the races, this time in cars. The one that had pulled up directly next to your side looked at you, his eyes narrowed on you. You tried to ignore him, to keep your back to him, but your worry for Chan grew strong, making you feel sick to your stomach. Chan walked up with someone else, and you recognized Felix immediately.

“Great, they’re here. I thought they would’ve given up by now.” He grumbled, irritation in his eyes.

Chan walked over to you and pulled you in by your waist, your head against his shoulder.

“Don’t pay attention to them love, and stay with all of your friends.” He said softly.

“Please don’t race tonight Chan. They’re after you.” You begged, burying your face into his shoulder.

“I’ll be find, I promise.” He said softly.

You closed your eyes and held him tightly, anxiety pricking at you. He cupped your cheeks and looked into your eyes, a reassuring smile on his face.

“I’ll be careful babygirl.” He said, kissing your forehead.

“I’ll protect him, no worried.” Felix said with a big smile.

You smiled back at him and nodded, giving Felix a hug too.

“Be safe Felix.” You said.

Chan smiled at you as he and Felix walked to their cars, hopping in and putting their seat belts on. You turned when you heard F/N calling for Minho to come back, fear on her face. Minho passed you and you looked at him, worry matching F/N’s. 

“Be safe out there Minho.” You said.

“I will be, I have to do this. I can’t let them all go in like that without me.” He said.

He opened his door and slid into his seat, pulling his seat belt across his body. He revved his engine as Yenna stepped between the cars, anxiety on her face as she did so. You saw Hyunjin looking at her, anger in his eyes at the fact she was still doing it, despite the other guys being obviously dangerous. She mustered up her courage and put a smile on, dropping the flags as everyone shot passed her. She sighed in relief as they all passed, but turned around and watched them, worry across her face. 

“Yenna!” F/N called.

Yenna went to the both of you, worrying plastered on her pretty face.

“I’m so scared.” She whispered, tears brimming her eyes.

“We are too, but I know they’ll protect each other.” F/N said confidently.

“You were really brave for still holding those flags Yenna.” You said, rubbing her shoulder.

She gave you both a thankful smile and pulled you both into a hug, comforting the three of you. The continues cheers going on from the opposite side had you biting your nails in anticipation, anxious for Chan’s car to appear. Your heart leaped through your chest when you saw it, but noticed something wrong. His back bumper looked like it had been hit, and he sped through the finish line quickly, followed by another car and Felix’s car. You recognized the car as the man’s from earlier and the other night, and also noticed his front bumper had some damage. You gasped when you realized he must’ve hit Chan, and was now after him. Felix kept pushing his car closer the other, trying to get him off of Chan.

“Felix!” You gasped as the opposites car hit the side of his own, sending him straight into a pole. 

His car flipped into a ditch and you took off, your feet pounding against the ground.

“Y/N!” F/N and Yenna both called for you.

You saw Chan's car skid next to the spot where the ditch was. He hopped out of the car, his divers side door wide open and his car siting in the middle of the road as he went straight down into the ditch. You ran to the top of the ditch and saw Chan ripping the door open, his eyes on Felix, whose eyes were closed as he was dangling from the seat belt.

“Felix!” Chan called for his friend, jumping into the car on it’s side and unbuckling him.

Chan started to lift him out as Minho and Hyunjin ran past you, quickly grabbing Felix as Chan had to haul himself out. They quickly moved him away from the car, as it was smoking. Chan dropped down beside him and cradled his head, his breathing heavy as he held Felix’s face. You noticed Felix’s eyes opened and he gave Chan a pained smiled.

“You idiot! Why would you do that?” Chan asked, his voice shaking.

“I finally know what’s it’s like to have a brother, and we brother’s protect each other.” Felix rasped out.

Chan held him tightly, soaking his hoodie in blood as he cradled Felix.

“All of you go.” Chan said lowly.

“Hyung-” Hyunjin started.

“Go! An ambulance is on the way, I don’t want any of you getting in trouble.” Chris yelled.

Hyunjin was about to protest when Yenna put her hands on his chest, meaning for him to listen to Chan. Hyunjin let out a small sob as he looked at Felix one more time and allowed Yenna to lead him away. F/N gently rubbed Minho’s shoulder as he let a few tears slip down his face before gently pulling him away.

“You should go too.” He said to you.

You knew he wouldn’t take no for an answer, so you nodded. You bent down and kissed his cheek, your hand holding Felix’s gently. Felix gave you a pained smile before he let out a small whimper, blood trickling from his mouth. You slipped your hand onto Chan’s cheek as you looked at him.

“I’ll be waiting for you.” You whispered, before allowing Minho and F/N to bring you to the car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It’s been two days since Felix’s accident, and you haven’t heard from Chan. You had tried texting and calling him, but he never picked up, and the others were having the same luck. You wracked your brain, trying to find out a way to see him, as you never been to his place. A thought popped into your head and you grabbed your car keys, heading out the door.

You parked your car across from the lake, quickly getting out and walking to the spot that Chan had showed you. You sighed in relief when you saw him sitting there. His knees were up and his arms were resting on them, his face buried into his arms. You slowly walked over and bent down in front of him, rubbing his arms. He quickly lifted his head, his eyes meeting yours. Your heart dropped when you saw the dark circles around his eyes, the whites of his eyes bloodshot.

“Y/N?” He asked.

“I’m here.” You whispered, getting on your knees between his legs and wrapping your arms around his neck.

You felt his arms around your waist as he buried his face into your chest. You stroked his hair and kissed his head, holding him tightly.

“Everyone’s been so worried Chan, I’ve been worried.” You whispered.

“I’m sorry I just... Couldn’t face anyone.” He whispered into your chest.

“Chan, this isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault.” You said.

You felt him flinch at your words, then his arms tightened around you as you felt something wet on your neck. Your heart broke when you realized he was crying, crying because he had been blaming himself. You cradled him in your arms tightly, tears filling your own eyes.

“Chan it isn’t your fault, I promise.” You said softly.

“I’m sorry.” He cried.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I promise, it’s okay. He’s still alive, and he’s going to fully recover.” You whispered.

It was true, after surgery, Felix was said to make a full recovery. He had been awake after his surgery, and you, F/N, Yenna, Minho, and Hyunjin had been there to see him, along with Changbin, Jisung, Woojin, Seungmin, and Jeongin.

“I know it’s just... He got hurt because of me.” He whispered.

“It wasn’t because of you, Chan. It was because of that man. And I know you would’ve done the same for him, so please stop blaming yourself. You pulled him out of a smoking car, and not many people would do that. And in fact, no one else rushed to help him. You saved him, Chan.” You pointed out, cupping his cheeks and wiping his tears.

It was the first time you’ve seen him look so defeated, deep bags, messy hair, and a sad face. He closed his eyes and laid his head back on your chest, soft sobs leaving his lips. You held him and whispered comforting words into his ear as he clutched you tightly, before pulling away and wiping his eyes.

“They’re participating in another race tomorrow, and said if I win they’ll leave everyone alone.” He said.

He watched your face drop, your eyes scanning his. How could he risk himself again?

You felt him pull you into his lap, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“I’ll be careful babe, please, just have faith in me. That’s all I need.” He said softly.

You closed your eyes and nodded, hugging him tightly. He held you to him before pulling away and cupping your cheeks, kissing your lips softly. You leaned into his kiss, the kiss sending tingles down to your toes.

“As long as I have you, my sweet luck charm, I can do anything”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You, Yenna, and F/N once again found yourselves biting your fingers, anxiety eating the three of you as the boys lined their cars up. Chan got out and walked over to you as you took off his leather jacket and swapped it with the other. He had a soft smile on his face as he pulled you into a hug, his face burying into your hair.

“Be safe.” You whispered.

“I will, I promise.” He said softly, pecking your lips.

His warm eyes held your gaze as he stroked your cheek before walking towards his car. You watched Minho kiss F/N’s forehead and Hyunjin placed a loving kiss to Yenna’s lips before they walked away to enter their cars. Yenna looked scared to hold the flags, so you grabbed them, looking Yenna in her eyes.

I have to give Chan confidence and courage.

You stepped between the front of the cars, your eyes on Chan’s. He stared at you, undeniably mad, but also understanding. The others looked at you with admiration as you raised the flags, then dropped them.

You closed your eyes as the cars flew by you, making your hair whip in the breeze. Please be safe, all of you.

You opened your eyes and walked back towards Yenna and F/N, and they both praised you on your bravery. But you had to be brave for Chan, you just had too. The three of you waited anxiously, pressed close to each other as you heard screams and cheers from the other side. You bounced your leg fluidly as you bit your finger, just wanting to see Chan’s car. Just wanting to see ANY of their cars. Your heart leaped into your throat when you saw Chan’s car in the front, the opposites right behind, but surrounded by Hyunjin’s car and Minho’s car. They had locked him in.

Chan’s car flew through the finish line first, loud screams filling the area. Chan pulled over and got out, followed by Minho and Hyunjin. You ran to Chan, your heart beating through your chest as you leaped into his strong arms. He caught you and held you tightly, smiling up at you. You grabbed his face and kissed his lips, relief filling you as you felt his touch. You leaned your forehead on his, your noses touching.

“I told you, all I needed was you to have faith in me.” He whispered.

You smiled and kissed his lips again, warmth spreading through you to your toes, a feeling you were growing used too. The other man’s car pulled close to the crowd and he got out, face pissed.

“You all cheated! You can’t trap me in!” He yelled.

“It’s also cheating to play bumper cars while racing. Now get out.” Minho said sharply, stepping in front of Chan, Hyunjin stepping in on the other side.

All of Chan’s fans agreed, making the mans face turn red.

“Fine. A deals a deal.” He growled before taking off.

You heard your phone go off and saw a facetime from Jisung, as you had exchanged numbers. You answered and saw Jisung’s face, Changbin behind him, and a clear shot Felix sitting in his hospital bed.

“How did it go?” Jisung asked, worry in his voice.

“We won.” Chan said with a smile.

You saw Felix smile as Jisung moved the camera to him, his eyes sparkling.

“I knew you’d win hyung.” He said.

“When I have you guys to protect, of course I will.” He said softly, his eyes landing on you. “I’m glad you’re getting better little brother. You can rest easy now.” He said.

“I can rest easy knowing I can always find you.” Felix said warmly before hanging up.

Chan smiled, tears in his eyes as he lifted you back up, kissing your lips.

“Thank You, Y/N, for giving me strength and courage.” He said softly.

“I’ll do it anytime, any day, in a heartbeat.” You said softly.

He smiled at you and held you close, his heart beating against your ear.

“You’ll always be my lucky charm, my love.”

[januarywren]

Hi if you don’t mind can I request a Snamione fic where he witness hermione’s mental breakdown upon knowing the death of her parents? Hehehe we are going angst today!

EEEEP, I’m really sorry - I’ve been feeling awful the past week, and I mixed up your prompt!! I thought that you wanted a sevmione scene about Hermione Obliviating her parents, not their death. 

The fic that I wrote is an Epilogue AU and takes place ten years after Voldemort’s death, but I’m sorry for the mix-up!! If I have time, I’ll write something that fits your prompt entirely. I’m posting the fic below, as well as linking it here! I appreciate you sending in a request, and I’m sorry again. 

-

“Hermione – “

It had been weeks of silence, with his lover hiding away in their rooms. There was more to the former golden girl of Gryffindor than anyone knew, and Severus watched, and he worried, as her cheeks grew pale and her words became fewer and fewer.

He felt the distance growing between them, even at night when he wrapped his arms around her, and she nestled close against his chest. Sleep was beyond them, yet they enjoyed the intimacy of it still – at least they had until she'd turned from him.

(Why? What had he done?)

“Trust me,” Severus ached to say. “Please, Hermione, let me in again.”

But he didn’t.

Couldn’t.

For underneath it all, Severus knew that he was a coward still, regardless of his duplicitous role at the Dark Lord’s side. The Ministry had given him a medal – a scrap of worthless tin – as if that could make his hands clean again.

He’d witnessed horrific things, things beyond anyone witch or wizard’s imagination, aside from Voldemort himself, and perhaps, Dumbledore. The later was hailed as the guiding mentor of the wizarding world, but above all others, Severus knew his true nature: Dumbledore willingly accepted what others would have cringed at, as long as it would aid his efforts during the war.

It was right, and it was wrong, and Severus –

He wanted little part of it.

His own Change was because of the Dark Lord after Voldemort explored the nature of vampires. Severus acted as his servant and was changed first – he'd burned in agony for days until his heart stilled, and he burned anew, his throat aching with thirst. He was a creature without morals, or limits, and had slaughtered as other Death Eaters had, and was privy to horrors that only those closest to the Dark Lord were allowed. There were so many innocents that suffered, regardless of their bloodline or their nature -

He never raised a finger to stop them, nor spared the unfortunate a single word, and he knew that he would burn for it –

Something that Hermione knew as well, for he’d wept in her arms, and confessed his sins to her. The world would never know the weight of his heart nor the true workings of his soul, but she alone would always know.

“Don’t.”

Severus flinched as his lover turned away from him, his heart thudding inside his chest. "It's over then?" he asked, forcing himself to swallow nausea that rose in his throat.

He’d always known he wasn’t good enough for Hermione, the same way he wasn’t good enough for Lily. (What had he told Hermione at the start of their relationship? “I’m less of a man than I am a creature, Hermione”? It was an understatement by far.)

And yet, Hermione had stayed by his side, freely and wholly of her own will. She’d accepted him when his nature became clear; his fangs grazing her wrist when he kissed her there, and his dark eyes had bored into hers. Her blood was ambrosia on his tongue, her nature as enthralling as a siren’s call.

And when they had reached the point of no return, she had done more than accept him –

She’d chosen him, as her Sire.

Her Mate.

They knew each other as no one else did, as they brewed countless potions together, in their little nest that was hidden from the world. They lived in muggle London, a place where they could live as they wished, and where no one noticed if a petty criminal or two went missing. (In fact, their formerly crime-ridden neighborhood was grateful for the dramatic reduction in crime, as stolen items were returned, and doors were left unlocked once more.)

He withdrew from her, as his familiar friend, anger, found him once again. “Have you realized what I am?” Severus asked, “A foul creature, a sniveling beast – “

It was easy to slip into his former skin, as the greasy-haired and embittered potions master. He knew what the students thought of him and remembered how the staff had avoided him. He reveled in their distance, as it fueled his bitterness; something he had ceased to feel in his life with Hermione. But he was weak then, and exposed, and wanted to hide away where she wouldn't see how he lived for her.

If she left him –

No, Severus thought grimly. When she left him, he would be the creature the world knew before, the one who snapped and snarled without remorse. He wasn��t meant to have others near, he was his father’s heir.

“Stop it,” Hermione said, closing the space between them.

“Why should I, Ms. Granger – “Severus sneered, stilling as her hand rose to cup his cheek.

"Severus," Hermione said as if his name meant something to her still. "This – this isn't about you, or us. I'm not," she hesitated, searching for the right words to say. "I know that I haven't been myself lately. I…”

“You haven’t,” Severus croaked, his tangled feelings exposed. He felt as anxiety entwined with his simmering anger, and his hand covered hers. “Please Hermione, let me in.”

“I did something a decade ago,” Hermione whispered, “something during the war that I cannot let go of. It…it happened next month, and I – I can’t stop thinking of it.”

Severus’s brow furrowed, as he rested his temple against hers. “You were a child during the war,” he said, his tone as gentle as his words were overused. “Dumbledore used you as a soldier – whatever you did is not yours to blame yourself for.”

“But it is,” Hermione replied, with a sad, little smile. “I wanted to keep my parents safe, and I…I took their lives away from them, Severus. I Obliviated them and sent them away to Australia, where they would be safe.”

He kissed away the tears that slid down her cheeks, as shame pooled through his veins. It was his nature to interpret his mate’s hurt as because of him, with his father’s words ringing in his ears – feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing always seemed just below the surface, as if he were a child still.

He wanted to be better for her.

He had to be.

She hadn’t made the decision for him to change her lightly, no, and it was entirely her decision alone. The cursed knife that Bellatrix had used to carve the horrid word into her skin was slowly killing her, the dark magic imbued within her wound leeching her very life from her. Hermione told him she wasn’t afraid to die, after cure after cure had resulted in little change.

Nor had Hermione proposed it at first, after Severus confessed his love for her. She asked for nothing from him but stayed at his side, faithfully stirring his potions, and spending her nights awake with him, even before he changed her. They kept the world at bay outside their door, and wanted nothing but privacy, above all.

She wrote letters frequently to Harry and his wife, as well as his godson, Draco Malfoy who sought redemption after the war and he apologized for his treatment of her. She wrote letters too, to George Weasley who mourned for the loss of his twin, and she wrote to Ron, who struggled to find his stride as an Auror still. Hermione had a longing for the outside world that Severus lacked, though he never sought to prevent her from having friendships.

Yet it was Severus who held her during the Change, allowing her to weep in his arms, as she writhed, and she burned. It was an experience that bonded them closer to one another, the fury of the Change driving the Dark Magic from her soul. It fled her body, but Severus never left her, nor did he want to.

“I’m sorry,” Severus whispered, before kissing the tip of her nose. “So very sorry, Hermione.”

She had always taken comfort in his voice, and like a purring cat, rubbed her cheek against his. “I can’t help but think they are safe but not whole,” Hermione confessed, “Or maybe it’s too painful to think of them as being happy and whole, without remembering me at all – “

His arms circled around her waist, as he pulled her flush against him. “I understand,” Severus said, having once felt the same about Lily, as she burned with life when she was married to James Potter. Yet his feelings for Lily were nothing like how he felt towards Hermione, the only soul to ever accept him wholly, and unflinchingly.

He never would regret the rainy night that he'd come across her, when she'd sat alone at a train station, with her beaded purse in her arms. She'd broken up with Ron and fled from the wizarding world – straight into his arms after they left the train station to eat at his favorite curry place instead. The dull flavor of human food had seemed spicy and danced across his tongue when he sat across from her, and they had simply never parted afterward.

Nor would they if Severus had his wish, and Hermione truly wanted to stay.

“I miss them,” Hermione murmured, “Every night and every day, even though I never forget that I’m the one to blame. I chose to send them away, without a memory of the child they had, or…or anything of their former lives. Their true lives,” her voice cracked at that, and she moved to bury her head against his shoulder. “I don’t have a right to feel this way.”

“You do,” Severus said, his hands resting on the small of her back.

She was a mess of contradictions; her small frame holding a soul that was far stronger, and bolder than his own. He wanted to curse himself for leaving her to the wolves during the war, though they weren’t lovers, nor friends then. His focus then was consumed with thoughts of Lily and twisted bitterness about protecting her son.

“Merlin, Hermione, you did the only thing that you could. The Dark Lord would have never allowed your parents to live. The things that he did to muggles – the things that I did to them – “ he dragged a ragged breath in.

He wanted her closer still as if he could hold on to her, so she never let go of him.

“You saved them, my love,” Severus said softly, though they were the only ones in their room. There would never be another between them, nor a child born from her womb, as their kind was unchanging.

There was only the low purr of her familiar, Crookshanks, who chose then to wind about their legs and rub his face against Severus' foot. With a little blood magic, he would live out his immortal days with them. "My love, my life - believe me. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

He wouldn’t.  

“Promise?” Hermione asked, quieter than he’d ever heard her.

He prayed that she would believe him, as truth dripped from his words. No one would have helped his mate and her parents, not even him. Dumbledore had cared only for Harry, zealously arranging his pawns so his king was protected, and at the forefront of the chessboard. Harry was the one that mattered – Harry was the only one that truly mattered and was needed in the war against Voldemort.

“I swear it,” Severus whispered. "I'll take a Vow if you wish."

He wanted to free her from her pain, her guilt, even as he knew that it couldn't be undone. It was an ache inside of her soul that wouldn't leave her, yet he wanted to try as he never had for any other. Offers rose to his tongue, ones of finding a reversal to the spell, and finding her parents once again.

Severus held his tongue still, knowing that wasn’t what his mate needed, not then. Later, perhaps, when her tears had dried and she nestled close to him, and she knew that he would listen to all that she wanted to share.

She pressed closer against him and grasped the fabric of his robes with her hand. “I wish that I didn’t remember,” Hermione confessed, “over and over again. I see their eyes glaze over and I…I just can’t – I want to forget but I never want to let them go.”

It was all that she could give him then, the wound too raw, and exposed as it was. (Yet she didn't turn her heart away, no – it turned toward him, as she sought the comfort of his hold and the honesty of his soul.)

“I know, sweetheart,” Severus said, knowing more than most how she felt. There were memories that haunted him once, a tangle of faces and a mesh of names that were engraved across his skin. “I know.”

They held each other close, saying nothing then.

[e-of-west-glendia]

Happy birthday to the wonderful @sirrriusblack!! You’re one of the most amazing people I know and I’m so, so glad that I decided to message you wayyy back in December.

I love you to death and again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎉

All I Want For Christmas Is You

(Yes I know it’s May. So shhhhhhhhh. Blame Mariah Carey and her song for shuffling on my playlist and putting me in a Christmas mood) (also tumblr is mean so I have to post this in three parts) Part 2 & Part 3

James (8:59 am): Are you here yet??

Sirius (9:05 am): Yep just landed

James (9:05 am): Cool cool

James (9:10 am): You outside yet?

Sirius (9:13 am): Jesus shit no. I literally said I landed like 5 minutes ago

James (9:14 am): 8 minutes* and so?

Sirius (9:16 am): Soooooo I have to get through security and shit. Do you know how airports work Prongs?

James (9:19 am): Of course I do. You just yell at terminal until you get to your destination quicker

Sirius (9:22 am): Lolll ok sure. I’ll try screaming at it

James (9:22 am) sounds like a plan padfoot

Sirius (9:30 am): Ok I’m out where are you?

Sirius (9:34 am): James?

Sirius (9:35 am): Jaaaammeeeessssss

Sirius (9:37 am): Prongssss where are youuu. It’s cooollldddd

James (9:38 am): sorry sorry I had to find the gate

Sirius (9:39 am): you mean to tell me you badgered me about getting off the plane and you didn’t even know where to pick me up???

James (9:39 am): ….maybe….

Sirius (9:40 am): dumbass

James (9:41 am): stfu and get in the car

Sirius (9:41 am): (:

~~~~~~~~~

Sirius looked up from his phone, grinning as a loud horn sounded from the curb. James was leaning out the window and sending him an equally large grin.

James pressed on the horn again, causing several people to look up in alarm and annoyance.

Sirius made his way to the back of the car, tapping on the back of it for James to pop the trunk. A moment later there was a faint click and the trunk had sprung open. Sirius quickly shoved his bags in and then closed the trunk probably a lot harder than he should’ve.

He winced at the sound it made as it came down.

“Trying to kill my car, are you?” James shouted from the front.

“Not on purpose,” Sirius called back, walking around to the passenger side.

James reached over and unlocked the door, throwing it open and waving his arm as if to say well what are you waiting for?

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.”

Sirius laughed at the quote before clambering into the car.

“Good to see you, too, James. Where we headed.”

James clicked on the radio, Queen’s Don’t Stop Me Now blaring to life on the audio.

James’ resulting grin would’ve been enough to make most people worried.

“Macy’s,” he said, and then he sped off towards the exit.

~~~~~~

Remus would’ve winced at Lily’s crushing hug if he hadn’t been hugging her with the same amount of force.

“You’re back!!” She shrieked.

“Yeah, yeah I am,” Remus said laughing.

It had been months since he’d been back in San Francisco and he was definitely glad to be home. He’d been away for nearly a year for a work trip — as great as it was, there was something really special about coming home, and seeing his friends again was making him almost giddy with excitement.

“When did you get in?” Lily asked, her words slurred a bit from excitement so it sounded more like one large word.

Remus shrugged,”A couple hours ago— hey! Jesus, what was that for?!”

Remus jerked away from redhead, glaring at the spot where she’d punched him in the arm.

“You should’ve told me when you landed! I could’ve come to pick you up!!”

Remus rubbed his shoulder. “I didn’t want to bother you with it, I can get back to my own house perfectly fine.”

“I know you can,” Lily said, rolling her eyes. “But James went to pick up Sirius hours ago and he could’ve got you too!”

“Oh,” Remus said. “Right.”

Lily frowned at his less than enthusiastic response. “All good there Remus?”

Remus blinked at her for a second, brain having trouble keeping up with what was going on.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, yeah I’m good.”

“Riiiight”

“I swear,” Remus said, raising his palms in the air. “I’m absolutely, one hundred percent, fine.”

Lily’s eyebrows looked like they were trying to leave her face but she nodded. “Yeah, yeah alright. Let’s go.”

“Go?” Remus asked. “Go where?”

Lily’s eyebrows dropped as she rolled her eyes. Sometimes she wondered how such smart people could be the biggest idiots.

“To the Potters. Christmas party, remember?”

“How could I forget.”

The Potter’s were absolutely legendary for their parties. Large events thrown in their Noe Valley house filled to the brim with friends, family, and other people who just happened to be invited. While it was true that Euphemia and Fleamont Potter we’re getting up there in age, they still knew how to throw a party. It also might’ve helped that their son and his friends were renowned for their own parties at boarding school and penchant for getting into trouble.

“Mm of course not,” Lily said. “But did you remember you were supposed to help me set up?”

“Err…” Remus trialed off. Well, no, he hadn’t remembered.

“Uh huh just what I thought. C’mon Remus, wouldn’t want to be responsible for a less than awesome Potter Christmas party, would we?”

~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t that Remus hadn’t known that James was picking up Sirius. No, he’d known all right— it was on the group chat after all. He’d known and he had deliberately planned his flight schedule around it.

Things hadn’t exactly been normal last time Remus had seen Sirius. And he’d decided that he’d much rather take an Uber home than hitch a ride with Padfoot and James. “I-Can-Sense-A-Conflict-Between-My-Friends-In-Under-A-Minute” Potter.

The thing with Sirius was that he’d gotten so good at covering up emotions it was hard to tell which ones were real. Such was the case last year.

Remus had been in love with his best friend for longer than he could remember. It had started small, noticing things, like his laugh. Then it slowly got worse and Remus started noticing finer details. Like the way his hair shimmered when it caught the light, or how the corners of his eyes would crease when he laughed. Or how—

“Remus. Earth to Remus Lupin, are you still with me?”

Remus looked up from the car window. He’d been doodling small stars on the parts that had turned foggy from the contrast of the warm car on the cold exterior.

“Yes?”

“We’re here.”

Remus started around their surroundings. “Oh”

“Mhm,” Lily said, pulling her key out of ignition. “What were you even doing?”

Remus looked back to the window, blushing slightly at the doodles. “Erm...stars?”

A grin split across Lily’s face. “Stars, huh?”

“What?” Remus complained, he absolutely did not need her to tease him about this. Or tell the other Marauders, it’s definitely be best if she didn’t tell the other’s.

Lily was practically glowing now. Brimming with some hidden information.

“Oh, nothing. C’mon let’s head in.” Without another word she pushed open the car door, sending a gust of cold air into the car and making Remus shiver.

Remus sat in his seat for an extra thirty seconds or so, trying to come up with what on earth Lily was talking about. Finally, muttering something about girls being confusing, Remus stepped out of the car and trudged towards the Potter house.

~~~~~~~~~

San Francisco was known for many things, but being warm was not one of them. Especially not during the month of December.

Sirius shivered slightly, cursing himself for not wearing a warmer coat. He knew how cold this god forsaken city got. So why on earth had he not packed for the weather. Oh, right, because he was in Australia where the seasons were flipped upside down. Well at least it was warm there.

It might’ve been better if it was the type of cold for snow, but alas it wasn’t. San Francisco was the type of cold with frigid winds that chilled you to the bone and a freezing atmosphere that made your teeth chatter.

Sirius wasn’t generally a warm person. In fact he’d once made Lily drop a cup of coffee when he’d startled her by touching her with a severely cold hand. So he’d made his peace with being a cold blooded lizard. But even he had his limits on cold.

Now James on the other hand looked ecstatic. Bouncing up Powell street towards Macy’s with poorly contained excitement.

“How the fuck are you so happy right now?” Sirius grumbled at his friend.

“Because it’s Christmas and you’re back.”

“I’m all for the Christmas spirit but it’s freezing outside.”

“Don’t you always say you’re cold-blooded?”

“Oh, ha ha. Cold-blooded creatures want to be warm you dumbass.”

James chuckled at his irritation. “We’ll be inside soon enough.”

Soon enough couldn’t have come faster. Sirius could’ve hugged whatever person was in charge of the heater in Macy’s. Stepping through the doors to the department store had felt like being wrapped in a warm blanket.

“Finally,” Sirius groaned when they’d gotten in. “A normal temperature.”

James had only laughed before tugging him further into the store in search of gifts.

~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, out with it Lupin. What’s going on between you and Black?”

Remus had almost taken Lily to her word. He’d been drinking tea when Lily asked her question, catching him off guard and causing him to choke.

“Pardon,” he spluttered.

Lily’s hands were on her hips, red hair falling around her face in waves. “Don’t you ‘Pardon’ me, Remus Lupin. I’m not an idiot. There’s been something off about you and Sirius since last fall.”

Remus had recovered slightly and took another swallow of his drink before saying: “Lily, I don’t know what you—“

“Oh my god,” Lily said suddenly, cutting him off. “You two finally worked it out!”

“Worked what out?”

Lily pushed herself up onto the counter, leaning in close to Remus.

“You two finally figured out that you’re head over heels for each other.”

Remus nearly fell off his seat in shock. Shit, he’d been discovered.

Lily snorted, not missing the flash of panic cross his face.

“Relax, I’ve known for a while. Hell, we all have.”

“You all know I like Sirius?” Remus asked, recovering his wits slightly.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Yes, duh. You two weren’t exactly discreet about it.”

“Two?”

“Yes, Remus. You and Sirius? Y’know Sirius Black? Rich, playboy supreme who you’ve had a crush on since you were like 14?”

“I know who he is,” Remus snapped, and then winced at the cool it buddy look that Lily was giving him. “What I meant was, you think Sirius likes me of all people.”

“Mhm”

“How? Why? Where?”

Lily sighed. “God Remus, you are so blind.”

[calumcest]

you and i were fireworks that went off too soon - chapter one

[ao3]

The tattoos appear one Wednesday night. 

“What’s yours?” Michael demands, sounding beside himself with excitement. Luke frowns.

“What’s my what?”

“Your tattoo.”

-

another soulmate au...but this time its ANGSTY (but dont worry it will end happy because i am me)

The tattoos appear one Wednesday night. 

Almost everyone wakes up for a few minutes at around three-thirty a.m., feeling a strange burning sensation in some square inch of their body. Almost everyone rubs sleepily at the patch of skin - wrist, bicep, shoulder, hip - rolls over, and goes back to sleep. 

Some people, of course, are already awake when it happens, and some people wake up and don’t go back to sleep. Those are the ones who start shooting off confused questions on social media, comparing tattoos, trying to figure out what they mean. A few people start theorising - mine reminds me of my wife, they say, or, mine reminds me of my first love, and by the time the rest of Australia wakes up, the theories have ballooned from maybe they’re to do with someone you need to reconnect with to this is a clear sign from the government that they’ve placed chips in our minds and know what we’re thinking about. 

Australia is the first major country to get them. As Tuesday rolls into Wednesday across the globe, more and more people’s thighs, forearms and ankles start to burn, until, by the time it gets to LA, people are buzzing with anticipation, almost the entire country awake at three-thirty in the morning, waiting for their tattoos. 

Luke doesn’t notice his immediately. He sleeps like the fucking dead, so he hadn’t even woken up in the middle of the night like most people, and he wakes up late for work so doesn’t have time to check his phone for the fifty billion messages he’s received overnight until he’s made it onto the train, panting as he flops into an empty seat opposite an elderly lady. She gives him a warm smile, which Luke thinks is a little strange, but he returns it slightly tentatively, pulling his phone out to avoid any further eye contact. 

His phone lights up before he even touches it, and Luke frowns as he sees new messages appearing every few minutes. On top of the messages, he’s got seventeen missed calls from Michael, twenty-five from his mum, three from his dad, and even some from Jack and Ben. 

He unlocks his phone and heads for the messages app, barely managing to open the group chat with Michael and Calum before his phone is lighting up with Michael ringing him again. 

“What?” he hisses, as quietly as he can, throwing an apologetic look at the lady opposite him. “I’m on the train.” 

“What’s yours?” Michael demands, sounding beside himself with excitement. Luke frowns. 

“What’s my what?” 

“Your tattoo.” Luke blinks. 

“Are you alright, Mike?” he says. “You know I don’t have any tattoos.” 

“Are you fucking serious?” Michael says, now sounding incredulous over the staticky phone line. “Have you not, like, looked at your phone? Seen the news? Spoken to a single person?” 

“I woke up late,” Luke says, a little defensively, even though he doesn’t really think he needs to defend not looking at his phone for an hour while he showered, dressed, made breakfast, sprinted to the station.

“Jesus Christ,” Michael says, and Luke can just imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Trust you to sleep through something like this.” 

“Through what?”

“Everyone got a tattoo last night,” Michael says. Luke hesitates for a moment, and then rolls his eyes.

“Mike, I’m not that gullible,” he says. “I think even I’d wake up if a tattoo artist broke into my house overnight.” 

“I’m not joking,” Michael says impatiently. 

“Where are they, then?” Luke says, slightly amused. 

“Mine’s on my elbow,” Michael says. “But everyone has them in different places.” 

“Right,” Luke says. “That’s convenient. Is this just a ploy to try and get me to strip naked on public transport and embarrass myself?” 

“Why do you never believe anything I say?” Michael says indignantly. 

“You’ve never given me much reason to,” Luke says. There’s a beat, and then-

“Yeah, that’s fair enough,” Michael says. 

“What’s yours, then?” Luke asks, because he might as well humour Michael. 

“It’s, uh,” Michael says, cagily. There’s a moment’s pause, and when it becomes obvious Luke’s waiting for an answer, he says quietly: “Duke?” 

“Duke?” Luke says, because he cannot have heard that properly. “Like, Calum’s dog Duke?” 

“Yeah,” Michael says, sounding a little nervous. Luke rolls his eyes. Obviously Michael’s just picked the first fucking thing that came to mind.

“Right,” Luke says. “Not really doing yourself any favours on convincing me this isn’t just a massive joke, Mike.” Michael makes a small noise somewhere between outrage and embarrassment. 

“Check the fucking news, then, arsehole,” he says, and then there’s a beep and he’s hung up. Luke removes the phone from his ear, screen back on the group chat where Calum’s still sending messages, and clicks out and onto his news app. 

He’s immediately confronted with approximately thirty-seven articles about tattoos. Blurry pictures of people’s tattoos, clips of news anchors showing their tattoos to the camera, interviews with people who claim they know what the tattoos mean, interviews with medical officials who are telling people to stay calm, the tattoos don’t appear to be dangerous. Luke’s first reaction is to bring down his notification bar and check the date - okay, May the seventh, so this isn’t an April Fool’s. It might be a late April Fool’s, though, he thinks.  

“He’s not lying to you,” someone says suddenly, and Luke’s head jolts up to see the old lady opposite him smiling at him benignly. 

“Uh, sorry,” he says, “what d’you mean?” 

“Your friend,” she says, “Mike? He’s not lying. Everybody got a tattoo last night.” She rolls her sleeve up to expose a frail, wrinkled arm, and right there, in the middle of her forearm, is a tattoo of a policeman’s hat. 

“That was my late husband’s identification number,” she says, pointing to the number underneath the hat. 

“Oh,” Luke says, because he has absolutely no idea what the appropriate response to everybody got a tattoo last night, by the way, here’s mine of my late husband’s police hat and identification number is. The lady smiles at him again, and rolls her sleeve back down. 

“You should look for yours,” she says knowingly, like she understands this whole tattoo situation. Luke opens his mouth, although he’s not really sure what he’s about to say - thank you? Piss off? What sort of a fucking alternate universe am I living in? - but then the train doors open and he looks outside and realises this is his stop. 

“This is my stop,” he says, thankful that this incredibly uncomfortable conversation is over. “Have a nice day?” He’s not really sure why he phrases it as a question, but he doesn’t have time to think about it, grabbing his bag and coat and just about making it off the train without getting decapitated by the closing doors. 

What a weird fucking start to the day, he thinks, as he starts towards the ticket barriers, but upon realising he’s left his season ticket at home all thoughts of a tattoo leave his mind. 

 ------- 

 The first person Luke sees when he gets into the office is Calum. He’s wearing a scarf indoors, which strikes Luke as a little strange, but he doesn’t have time to ask because as soon as Luke walks into the room, Calum rounds on him.  

“Why the fuck haven’t you been answering your phone?” he demands immediately. 

“Jesus Christ,” Luke groans as he throws himself into his chair. “Not you too.” 

“What?” 

“Mike rang me trying to convince me to get naked on the train because apparently someone tattooed me in my sleep last night,” Luke says, powering up his desktop. Calum gapes at him. 

“Are you telling me you haven’t seen yours yet?” he asks in disbelief. 

“What? Cal, are you fucking serious?” Luke says, annoyed. He might be gullible, but he’s not that gullible. “I’m not falling for this shit.” 

“Have you checked the news?” 

“Yeah,” Luke says, swivelling in his chair to face Calum as he waits for his computer to turn on. “It’s got to be some kind of joke. A late April Fool’s, I dunno.” Calum stares at him as though he’s just said the sky is green, or All Time Low are a bad band, or something. 

“Are you insane?” he asks incredulously. 

“Alright, show me your fucking tattoo, then,” Luke says sarcastically. Calum hesitates. 

“I don’t want to,” he says shiftily, after a moment.  

“Right,” Luke says smugly. “See?” 

“See what?”

“Mike came up with some bullshit too,” Luke says. “Said his was fucking Duke.” Calum stares at him for a moment. 

“Wait,” he says, and he sounds a little strangled. “Duke? Like, my dog?” 

“Yeah,” Luke says pointedly, in what he hopes is a I’m not that stupid kind of tone. 

“Oh,” Calum says, and now he sounds somewhere between frightened and elated. Luke cocks his head, frowning. 

“What?” he asks. 

“It’s just…” Calum trails off, and shrugs. 

“What?” Calum bites his lip, and then tugs the scarf down. 

There, inked on the side of Calum’s neck, is a Gibson guitar with six numbers on it: 201195. It takes Luke a minute to put two and two together, but after realising it doesn’t say 2011-95 but 20-11-95, it suddenly makes sense. That’s Michael’s guitar, and that’s Michael’s birthday. 

“Oh,” he says, and now he’s just confused. “Why the fuck did you get Michael’s guitar tattooed on your neck?” Calum lets go of the scarf and it snaps back up, covering the tattoo again. 

“I didn’t,” he says. “It appeared last night.” 

“Well, where’s mine, then?” Luke asks sceptically, looking down at his hands and turning them over and over, like a tattoo is suddenly going to appear. 

“I don’t know,” Calum says. “Andy’s was on his arse.” Luke stares at him. 

“I’m not getting my arse out in the office,” he says. Calum rolls his eyes. 

“Go to the fucking toilet,” he says. Luke stands up, because it seems like until he plays into this elaborate prank it’s not going to end, and then stops. 

“Wait,” he says. “What if it is on my arse?” 

“Then it’s on your arse,” Calum says, sounding a little nonplussed. It’s Luke’s turn to roll his eyes. 

“I won’t be able to see it,” he says, hoping Calum will get the hint. Calum stares at him for a moment, then shrugs, and stands up. 

“I hope it’s on your dick,” he says, with a grin. 

“Fuck you,” Luke says, as they walk to the toilet opposite their office. Luke pushes open the door to the first cubicle, and then pauses. “Wait, is it going to look weird if we’re in a cubicle together?”

“Probably,” Calum says, but he follows Luke into the cubicle anyway, closing the door behind him. 

It’s cramped with Calum in there too, and they shuffle around each other for a moment before Calum hops onto the toilet and gets out of Luke’s way, leaving him to take his jacket off and then fiddle with his shirt buttons. 

“This is the world’s worst strip-tease,” Calum comments after a moment, and Luke scowls at him. 

“Dickhead,” he says, and then, having finally removed his shirt, he turns around to hang it on the hook on the back of the door. That’s when Calum gasps. 

“It’s, uh. It’s on your back,” he says, and he sounds a little worried. Luke twists, trying to see. 

“What?” he says, because he’s not that flexible. “Where?”

“On your shoulderblade,” Calum says, pointing, as if it’ll help. Out of the corner of his eye, Luke can see a crease of concern between Calum’s brows. 

“I can’t see,” Luke says grumpily. 

“Hang on, I’ll take a picture,” Calum says, standing up and fishing his phone out of his pocket. Luke stands still for a moment, until he reckons Calum must have taken the picture, then turns around. Calum hesitates for a moment, then thrusts the phone at Luke. 

Luke sees his skin, pale and freckled, broken up by dark black ink. It’s a strangely beautiful tattoo, a bird carrying what looks like some kind of stick in front of a waning moon. It reminds him a bit of two of his ex’s tattoos, actually - he had some kind of bird on his neck, and a bunch of moons on his forearms.

It’s that thought that’s on his mind as he looks over the picture again, and his eyes fall on the stick. 

It’s a drumstick. 

Oh. 

Oh. 

“Fuck,” Luke says, and he suddenly feels sick. No fucking way has he woken up with his first ever tattoo, and it’s something to do with Ashton. “Fuck. Calum, tell me this isn’t real. Tell me this is a fucking prank.” Calum looks at him like he wishes he could tell Luke it was a prank, and shakes his head slowly. 

Luke feels his knees give out, falling to the cold tile floor hard. 

“It comes off, right?” he says, an edge of panic in his voice. Calum looks at him again, and then shakes his head again. “Cal, please. I- I can’t have a tattoo to do with Ashton.” 

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Calum says, eyes sincere and sad. 

“What does it mean?” Luke asks. Calum shrugs helplessly. 

“No one knows,” he says. 

“But you have Michael,” Luke says desperately, “and Michael’s got you.” Calum hesitates, and then shrugs again. 

“I don’t know, Luke,” he says gently. 

“Maybe it doesn’t mean anything,” Luke says, like he’s trying to convince himself more than anything. 

“Maybe,” Calum echoes, but he doesn’t sound sure at all. 

 -------

 It takes three months before it’s decided what they are. 

A huge number of studies are done in that time. Calum and Michael themselves volunteer for one, because apparently not everybody knows what - or who - theirs refers to. Some people turn out to have no tattoo, and it seems like people are only getting their tattoos on their eighteenth birthdays. It’s the only topic in the news for that entire time - the only topic of conversation, the only topic Luke encounters fucking anywhere.

He’s grateful his tattoo is on his shoulderblade, so it’s mostly hidden, because he sees everybody sneaking furtive glances at people’s necks, hands, forearms, collarbones, anywhere with visible tattoos. He dodges questions about what his tattoo is from everybody but Calum, Michael, and his family, because the words rise like bile in his throat - it’s Ashton. 

(“Oh, Luke,” Michael says sadly, when Luke tells him, and pulls him into the tightest hug Luke thinks he’s ever had.)

(“Oh, Luke,” his mum says sadly, when Luke tells her, sigh broken up by the static of the phone line.) 

(“Oh, Luke,” Jack and Ben say simultaneously on their group call, a moment of tense, awkward, sad silence hanging between them for a moment afterwards.) 

After three months, though, there’s a huge press conference. They’ve worked out what they are, the authorities say, and they’re going to do a televised conference announcing it and explaining how they reached that conclusion. 

Of course, the whole world is on tenterhooks. They do it in Europe, because it’s deemed the easiest timezone for everybody to work around, so Luke finds himself wedged between Michael and Calum on Calum’s sofa at eleven p.m., biting his nails almost obsessively. 

Michael and Calum aren’t speaking much, either. Luke’s not really sure it was the best move for them to be together while finding out what their tattoos about each other mean, but frankly, he’s too focused on finding out what his tattoo means to worry about them. 

At two minutes past eleven, researchers begin to file into the panel in front of the audience of journalists, world leaders standing behind them. It looks almost comical, Luke thinks a little hysterically, a row of men and women in lab coats to highlight their authority on the matter, the world’s most powerful people standing solemnly behind them. Some of their tattoos are visible too, but Luke’s too caught up willing time to move faster so he can finally fucking find out what having a tattoo about Ashton on his shoulderblade means. 

At four minutes past eleven, they start speaking. There’s about five minutes of preamble that Luke can’t follow, lots of words like hypothesis and methodology washing over him, and then the researcher sitting in the middle of the panel clears his throat, pushes his glasses up his nose, and takes a deep breath. 

“From these international, rigorously conducted studies of large portions of different populations, we have concluded,” he says, and nobody breathes. This is the moment. Luke’s heart seems to be trying to get his daily quota’s worth of heartbeats into a single second. “We have concluded that these tattoos appear to be soulmate markings.” 

Luke hears nothing that he says after that. 

Soulmate markings. The words echo in his mind, bouncing off every cell in his brain. 

It can’t be right, Luke thinks desperately, as he watches the panellists take questions from journalists but doesn’t hear the words they say. Ashton’s not his soulmate. There’s no such thing as soulmates, and if there were, Luke’s wouldn’t be the first man who had ever truly broken his heart, who had left him almost incapable of carrying on, who had brought him so fucking close to the precipice. 

He’d thought Ashton had been it, back then. He’d thought that he’d been so lucky to find the guy he wanted to marry so young in life. And then, three years later, Ashton had turned around one day, ashen-faced, and told him he didn’t love him anymore. 

That had been it. Luke’s world, Luke’s mind, Luke’s heart, had broken. 

So there’s no fucking way, no fucking way, that Ashton can be Luke’s soulmate. Luke’s soulmate wouldn’t have fallen out of love with him. Luke’s soulmate would never have pushed him so close to never seeing another birthday again. Luke’s soulmate wouldn’t leave him. 

Luke’s so caught up in the sickness that’s washed over him, hands trembling, freezing and sweaty, that he doesn’t realise what this means for Michael and Calum until a noise pulls him back to reality harshly. It’s Calum, clearing his throat. 

“Well,” he says, and he sounds weirdly high-pitched, and suddenly Luke thinks, shit. Calum and Michael are soulmates. 

“Yep,” Michael says, equally high-pitched and slightly choked. 

“Oh,” Luke puts in, because fuck, Calum and Michael are soulmates. 

“Oh,” Calum says, like he’s just remembered Luke’s there, and then there’s two sets of arms around Luke, warm and vanilla and mint and pine. 

“Oh, Luke,” Michael says, and he sounds so sad that Luke’s heart breaks all over again. 

Neither of them say anything more, because there’s so much to say that picking any one thing would be doing everything else an injustice.

 -------

 Luke does nothing about it for five weeks. 

Michael and Calum don’t say anything about it either, not wanting to push, but Luke’s getting kind of sick of the wary looks they send in his direction, of the whispered conversations that stop as soon as he walks into the room. They’ve fallen into it so easily that it chokes Luke up when he sees them, easy touches and glances that they’ve always had but have somehow taken on a new meaning. 

(“When did you know?” Luke asks Calum one night over the phone, staring up at his ceiling. 

“That I was in love with him?” Calum asks. 

“Yeah.” 

“I’ve always known,” Calum says, and Luke’s heart hurts because he’s so happy for them, he is, but he’s so fucking miserable.) 

He jumps every time he gets a text for the first few weeks, thinking it might be Ashton, and filled with both relief and a little bit of disappointment when it never is. His mum doesn’t ask, and neither does his dad, and nor do Jack and Ben, and he loves them all for it. He doesn’t want to talk about it, but he hates the way it hangs, thick and solid in the air between them all every time he calls. 

Five weeks is when he breaks. 

He’s in the toilet at work, sat fully-clothed on the closed toilet seat, practically hyperventilating as he types, erases, types, erases. 

Hey. I know we haven’t spoken in years-

Hey. I know we haven’t spoken in a while-

Hi. It’s Luke. 

Hi. It’s Luke (Hemmings).

It feels fucking awful still, even after a few years have passed, to see Ashton Irwin staring at him at the top of the screen, not the stupid inside joke contact name he’d had for the entirety of their relationship. It feels fucking awful typing so formally. It feels fucking awful not knowing what to say to someone who used to know Luke better than anyone else. The whole thing feels fucking awful. 

Eventually, when he’s been sat on the toilet for so long his arse is starting to go numb, he just types two words. 

What’s yours? 

He puts his phone back in his pocket, unlocks the cubicle with shaking fingers, and goes to wash his hands, because otherwise it’ll look like he’s incredibly unhygienic. 

His phone buzzes as he’s drying his hands, and his heart lurches. He hastily wipes his hands on his trousers, fumbling with trembling fingers with his phone and nearly throwing up when he sees Ashton Irwin flashing up on his screen. 

Ashton Irwin It’s you. 

 ------- 

 Luke sits on the information for two days before telling Michael and Calum. 

They’re at Michael’s, sitting on the sofa eating pizza (or, at least, Michael and Calum are eating pizza - Luke’s half-heartedly prodding at his), and Calum and Michael are having some kind of a heated squabble about whether tuna on pizza is acceptable or not, and Luke just blurts it out. 

“I texted Ashton,” he says suddenly, and both Michael and Calum stop, dead still. 

“You- what?” Michael says, after a few (incredibly strained) seconds have passed. 

“I texted Ashton,” Luke repeats, mumbling this time. He’s gazing intently at his pizza, mostly to avoid looking at Calum or Michael. 

“Did he reply?” Calum asks. 

“Yeah,” Luke says. Both Michael and Calum inhale sharply. 

“What did he say?” Michael asks. Luke swallows. He doesn’t think he can say it out loud. 

“I-” he starts, but cuts himself off, the words too heavy for his tongue to handle. He shakes his head instead, fishing for his phone in his pocket, and chucks it over to Calum, who catches it deftly. Michael leans over as Calum types in Luke’s passcode - his birthday, because he’s too stupid to remember any other date - and there’s a moment of tension, of bated breath, as they wait for the message to load. 

Luke knows when they’ve seen it because both of their faces contort into the same expression, somewhere between worry, confusion, fear, concern and sympathy. 

“Fuck,” Michael says, staring at Luke almost hesitantly, like he’s about to implode. 

“Are you okay?” Calum asks quietly. Luke shrugs. 

“I don’t know,” he says honestly, because he doesn’t. He’s over Ashton, he is, but he’s never going to forgive or forget the way Ashton left him, the way he broke him and swept away, not even glancing at the pieces of Luke he left in his wake. Ashton can’t be his soulmate. 

“That’s okay,” Calum says, calm and reassuring. “It’s okay to not know.” 

“It’s just a tattoo,” Michael says. “Tattoos can’t tell you who to love.” 

It makes Luke feel a little better. 

 -------

 He doesn’t text Ashton again. 

In fact, he’s almost succeeded in pushing Ashton into a corner of his mind again, shoving him back into the Do Not Open box that this tattoo business had let him out of, when his phone buzzes in the middle of the night a week later. 

He reaches over groggily, aiming to turn off whatever it is that’s lighting up his screen and sending vibrations resonating through his bedside table, but wakes up with a shot of adrenaline when he sees the name lighting up his screen. 

Ashton Irwin We should probably talk about this. 

Luke sits bolt upright in bed, palms suddenly sweating. The only thing he can think to do is unlock his phone and dial Michael, knowing he’ll be up, even though it’s two a.m. 

“What?” Michael asks, sounding slightly irked. Luke can hear clicking in the background, so it’s probably a safe bet that he’s playing a game. 

“Ashton texted me,” he says, and the clicking stops. 

“What did he say?” 

“Uh,” Luke says, holding the phone away from his ear and squinting as the bright screen blinds him in the darkness of the room. He fumbles for his light switch with one hand while exiting back into the messages app with the other. “‘We should probably talk about this.’” 

“Yeah, we should,” Michael says, “that’s why I’m asking what he texted you.” 

“No, that’s what he said,” Luke says. 

“He said you should talk about it?” 

“Yeah.” There’s a pause.

“That bastard,” Michael says calmly. “What did you say?”

“Nothing, yet,” Luke says. “I called you first.” 

“Tell him ‘nah, you’re good’,” Michael says, and Luke knows he’s only, like, ten percent joking. 

“Michael,” he says, tone admonishing, but his stomach feels a little lighter. Knowing he’s got Michael and Calum on his side - fiercely on his side - makes it feel a lot less scary, a lot easier to handle. 

“Well, what do you want to say?” Michael asks. 

“I don’t know,” Luke says. He’s fantasised about this so many times since they broke up - about Ashton texting him, about Luke having the power to say no, or say yes - but he’s never decided on a resolute response in his daydreams. 

“You don’t have to reply,” Michael says. “You don’t owe him shit.” 

“I know,” Luke says, and it comforts him, somehow. “Maybe I won’t.” 

“I’ll reply for you,” Michael says, and then there’s more clicking. “Just give me a few minutes to look up how to say ‘go fuck yourself’ in at least forty different languages.” Luke laughs at that, the knot in his stomach loosening considerably.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” he says, because now that he’s talking about it, now that it’s not just in his own head and his own heart, it feels a lot less frightening. “What a fucking joke. We get soulmates, and mine’s Ashton?” 

“That’s what you get for saying my fringe was ugly in Year Seven,” Michael says. 

“It was ugly.”

“Well, now something else terrible is going to happen to you,” Michael says cheerfully. 

“What’s worse than waking up with a giant tattoo about Ashton on my back?” Luke says. 

“Having to speak to him again,” Michael says. Luke doesn’t really think he can argue with that. 

“I’m going to turn my phone off,” he says, stifling a yawn, because now that the adrenaline’s subsided, the exhaustion is kicking in again. 

“You should just block him,” Michael suggests. Luke is sorely tempted for a moment, but then sighs.

“I’ll deal with it tomorrow,” he says, because it’s too late, and he’s not thinking straight, and he doesn’t want to do something he’ll regret. “Thanks for listening to me, Mikey.” 

“Always,” Michael says, with a sincerity Luke didn’t know he had in him. “But you’re going to have to pay me for my services in food.” 

“I’ll cook for you,” Luke says. 

“I said food, not chargrilled remnants of what used to be pasta,” Michael says. 

“I can cook pasta,” Luke protests. 

“‘Cook’ is a bit of a strong word to describe what you can do with pasta,” Michael says. 

“Arsehole,” Luke says, but he’s smiling. 

“Love you too,” Michael says, and Luke can hear the grin in his voice. “Go to bed.” 

“Alright, mum,” Luke grumbles. “Night.”

“Night,” Michael says, and then he hangs up, and Luke’s suddenly all too aware of the silence and darkness and sheer loneliness of his room. 

He switches his phone off, rolls over, and lets the warm feeling of knowing Michael’s there for him envelop him, eventually drifting off to sleep.

 -------

 “So,” Calum says, when Luke walks into work the next morning, exhausted and late. He’s swivelled around in his chair to face Luke, fingers steepled against his chin like he’s deep in thought. “Did you text him back?” Luke scowls. 

“I wish Michael would let me tell you things myself,” he says, slamming his bag onto his desk with a little more force than strictly necessary. 

“Did you?” Calum asks again. Luke shakes his head, throwing himself down in his chair, taking his phone out of his bag and putting it on the table before chucking his bag under his desk. 

“I don’t know if I want to,” he says. 

“Fair enough,” Calum says, with a shrug. Luke bites his lip. 

“Do you think I should?” Calum shrugs again. 

“I think you should do what feels right,” he says. 

“I don’t know what feels right,” Luke moans, putting his head in his hands. “He’s my fucking ex. He fell out of love with me. How is he my soulmate?” 

“Maybe he’s, like, a platonic soulmate?” Calum offers, and then recoils in the heat of the glare Luke sends his way. 

“Ashton’s not really high up on the list of people I’m looking to be friends with,” Luke says. Calum looks like he’s about to say something, but then Luke’s phone buzzes. He looks over, half-expecting it to be Michael, but-

Ashton Irwin Don’t ignore me, Luke. This is important. 

Anger suddenly flares hot in Luke’s stomach. 

“Is it him?” Calum asks. Luke nods, and holds the phone up over his desk for Calum to see. “Are you fucking serious?” 

“He texted me at two a.m.,” Luke says. 

“He’s so fucking entitled,” Calum says, sounding almost as irate as Luke feels. Luke’s so angry that he types out a response without even thinking about it. 

Me Are you fucking serious? You texted me at two in the morning. 

“What did you say?” Calum wants to know, and Luke dutifully reads it out to him. Calum nods approvingly. “Call him a bastard next time.” Luke laughs, both bitter and amused, and then his phone buzzes again. 

Ashton Irwin I know you’re at work. 

Ashton Irwin Call me on your lunch break? 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Luke mutters, thrusting his phone at Calum. 

“At least he put a question mark this time,” Calum says. “Fucking arsehole.” 

Luke’s fingers are shaking as he types.

Me Fuck you. You left me like it was nothing, like I meant nothing after I gave all of myself to you for three years. You never checked in on me, never asked about me, never bothered seeing if I was okay. You just told me you fell out of love with me, and then up and left. You don’t get to demand shit from me now. 

Luke erases it all. 

Me I don’t have anything to say to you.

The typing bubble pops up as soon as Luke’s sent the message, and he watches the words form in front of his eyes. 

Ashton Irwin I do, though. 

 ------- 

 Luke’s not really sure how he finds himself standing outside in the biting early-October wind on his lunch break, finger hovering over the dial button on Ashton’s contact name. 

He’s been standing there for five minutes, almost pressing it but never quite getting there (except one time his finger had slipped and he’d pressed it and then stabbed the ‘end call’ button about fifty times straight in a blind panic). 

On the one hand, he really, really doesn’t want to talk to Ashton. He’s moved on from Ashton, with a lot of expensive therapy, a lot of leaning on his friends more than he should have and a lot of eating his body weight in processed food, and he wants Ashton to stay a part of his past. He’s worked hard to get to where he is today, and he doesn’t need to be flung back to where he had been. 

On the other hand, this is kind of a big deal. They’re soulmates. Ashton was right, although Luke doesn’t want to admit it - this is something they should talk about. Plus, it can’t hurt to hear what Ashton has to say, right?

With ten minutes left of his lunch break and approximately the same amount of time before he has to start sacrificing fingers to frostbite, Luke takes a deep breath and presses the dial button. 

It rings twice, and then there’s a click as Ashton picks up. 

“Hello?” Ashton says, and Luke suddenly feels incredibly sick. He hasn’t heard Ashton’s voice in two years, not since he was telling Luke he didn’t love him anymore, and it throws Luke back to that place, making him feel small and vulnerable and pathetic. 

“Hi,” he says, and he’s proud of how steady his voice comes out given the circumstances. “I have ten minutes.” 

“Okay,” Ashton says. “You’re still living in Sydney, then?” 

“What?” Luke says, slightly taken aback by the question. “Oh. Yeah.”

“Cool,” Ashton says. There’s a moment of awkward silence, and Luke contemplates Googling the quickest way to end his own life before Ashton speaks again. 

“How are you?” he asks, and Luke can’t help but laugh at that. 

“Are you fucking serious?” he asks, and he suddenly feels a little better, a little more in control. Ashton’s asking how he is, and he’s the one laughing. He’s the one with the power. Ashton wants to talk to Luke - Luke doesn’t want to talk to Ashton. 

“What?” Ashton sounds a bit defensive. 

“Get to the point,” Luke says, feeling braver and bigger with every passing second. “I didn’t call for a fucking catch up.” 

“Jesus,” Ashton mutters. “What the fuck happened to you?” You happened, Luke thinks bitterly, but he won’t give Ashton that satisfaction. 

“I grew a fucking spine,” he says instead. “Just tell me what you wanted to talk about.” 

“Well,” Ashton says. “I just- I feel like we should talk about the fact that we’re...y’know. Soulmates.” 

“I don’t have anything to say about it,” Luke says. 

“Are you serious, Luke?” Ashton says, sounding slightly pissed off, and Luke’s caught off-guard for a moment, hearing his name in Ashton’s familiar yet strange voice again. 

“Yeah,” Luke says, and he can’t help the bitterness that tinges his tone. “You fucking left, Ashton, and it’s been two years. What the fuck am I supposed to have to say to you?” 

“We’re soulmates,” Ashton says, like that’s supposed to mean something to Luke. 

“Oh, what, so you wouldn’t have fallen out of love with me if you got a fucking tattoo a few years earlier?” Luke says, fury swirling in his chest. “You needed a bit of ink to tell you who to love?” 

“That’s not what I mean,” Ashton says, even though to Luke it sounds like it’s exactly what he means. 

“Right,” Luke says sarcastically. “What’s the point in this call?” 

“To fucking talk, Luke, not have you bite my head off,” Ashton says. The fury grows hotter in Luke’s chest, seeping into his veins and heating up his muscles. 

“Talk about what?” he spits. 

“You’re my fucking soulmate!” Ashton says, voice rising. “Don’t you want to fucking talk about it?” 

“No!” Luke shouts, and two passers-by give him an odd look. He lowers his voice, and tries again. “No. I don’t have anything to say about it.” 

“I think we should meet up,” Ashton says. 

“I think you’re fucking insane,” Luke tells him. “I’m going back to work. Don’t contact me again.” 

“Wait,” Ashton nearly yells, and Luke, out of instinct, hesitates. “Uh. What’s your-  what’s it of?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Luke growls, and hangs up. 

He lets out a shaky exhale as he tips his head back against the cold brick wall behind him, anger pounding through his veins, ringing in his ears. 

Fuck Ashton Irwin, he thinks, blinking up at the cloudless sky. Fuck Ashton Irwin, and fuck the soulmate tattoos. 

chapter two

[kvngjoong]

she was a rainbow [two - lee felix]

→ felix lee x f!you, university!au, in which felix discovers that his feelings aren’t as easy to understand as he first may have thought → 5.4k+, pretty much all angst and unrequited love

part 2 of 3

“I actually met this guy?”

“This guy?” Felix repeats, unsure of what you mean. It sounded like a question you were posing to him, and Felix wasn’t entirely sure what you wanted in return.

Your blank stare means that the image of you with another guy beside you, hugging you, showing his love to you in every form, it’s pretty much on the right track. It wasn’t him who you’d met. It was a guy. “Yeah, you know. A guy.”

“Are you going to elaborate?” Felix’s irritation is clear through his properly enunciated syllables, each word clearly being presented to you. Luckily you don’t notice, likely because you’re thinking about whoever this guy is.

“Okay,” you reply with a wide smile. Felix feels bad for accidentally giving you permission to tell him about something he really doesn’t want to know about. He could listen to you talk for years, he could sit across from you and watch your pretty lips explain any topic picked out of a hat, though to tell him that the love he was feeling for you, even if he didn’t realise as of yet that it was love, that wasn’t something he could sit by. “We’re going on a date tomorrow.”

Felix has always wondered what the future may hold.

He doesn’t consider himself someone who struggled to keep his head out of the clouds, but he was a dreamer and didn’t care too much for it. If his head wasn’t in a book about other worldly activities, he was playing a video game that was fantasy based, or he was imagining it as he stared into the distance and imagined a world that was oh so different to the one he lived in.

Not because he hated the world he lived in, oh no, Felix Lee lived a very good life that he enjoyed very very much. He had a strange group of friends that he had grown to like over the years, he felt that he was everything he wanted to be, and most importantly he was enjoying himself. It had been that way for a while, since he moved to South Korea and made friends with an equally small boy named Seungmin.

The pair were pretty much inseparable through school and that continued all the way into university, since they were now living together and continuing life like they always wanted to. Except, now they had the addition of a guy that Seungmin met in one of his classes named Jeongin. The boy who Felix swore was a descendant of Inari Okami, blame Seungmin’s anime for that reference, was a pretty good addition to make their dorm bills cheaper and the pair a trio.

Yet, Felix found himself so lost in a fantasy world because something was missing.

He never understood what it was, but he could feel from the very bottom of his soul that there was a part of him which he didn’t understand; he couldn’t grasp like he was meant to. The key to unlocking it could be found somewhere but he was yet to find it.

“Um… Excuse me?” a voice behind Felix pulls him from the daze he’s in, staring at the board with some fliers stuck to it as he waits for his class to be called in. He takes one of the earbuds from his ear. “Is this class on employment law?”

Felix raises a brow at the girl in front of him. You’re not too different in height than him, you have messy hair and a bright coloured striped top which is brighter than anything he’s ever owned. He’s definitely never seen you in a lecture. “No, this is clinical psychology.”

“Oh.”

“Do you study psychology?”

You shake your head. “I study international business. I thought this was the room. That’s what one of the guys said downstairs.”

Felix feels some pity for you. You must be a new student, judging from how you were lost in the building which was the least easy to get lost in. He remembers when he was new and found out that Seungmin would not be with him when he had his classes he went into a slight panic mode because he had a tendency to get lost easily, too. So he decides to help you out, being the kind of guy he is.

“Where were you supposed to be?” Felix asks you.

“Uh…” You pause to look down at your phone and squint a little, despite your glasses. Maybe they were fake. “It says D2.8. That’s here, right?”

Felix offers a sympathetic smile. “You’re in the wrong building.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, it’s not too far…” Felix waits for a moment, realising that he would be murdered by his parents for ditching someone who needed some help. “I can take you there, if you like?”

He’d miss his class for helping someone out, no one in there talked to him anyway. Felix was talkative if he had people to talk to, but no one even wanted to sit next to him in there. There was a bundle of things Felix could complain about, but now he was helping you.

“I’m Felix, by the way.” He sticks out his hand for your to shake, earning a curious look from you. “Bit of a strange way to meet, huh?”

You smile softly at his joke. “Terrible way to meet. Now I’m going to be late and I’m making you late too. It’s terrible karma. I’m (Y/N).”

Cute name. Felix doesn’t know if it means anything special, but he repeats it a few times in his head because it sounds cute. Felix was a fan of name collecting, he liked hearing people’s names because names are the most personal thing someone can tell you. He remembers what Seungmin has told him about demonology and fairies too.

“Did you just move here?”

“To Korea?” you ask. Felix raises an eyebrow, considering that your Korean is almost perfect, you must be from somewhere in Korea. He can’t work out your accent. “Yeah, I did actually. My parents moved around a lot when I was younger but I wanted to come to Korea for university. I figured it would be cool to see.”

Felix hums. “Yeah, I get you. I lived in Australia for a while before my parents told me to come back here to study. I kinda wanted to meet all the family I never got to before. Are you liking Korea?”

“It’s beautiful here. Literally, I find myself walking around a lot because of how much there is to see. Probably will get me in some trouble one day, walking around a late at night. I don’t know if it’s as safe here as it was where I was from.”

“Well, if you need someone to walk with I’m always free,” Felix tells you with a smile. He may have accidentally started to flirt but it was definitely an accident because Felix couldn’t intentionally flirt to save his life. He just rolls with it; you’re cute and this must have been a sign.

Felix knew he was the world’s worst unintentional flirt. He didn’t mean to say the things he did but when they left his mouth and he was left staring at the face of someone who was realising that he was flirting with them, he felt worse about it than he should have. It just came out, it was natural for him.

And he realises that, with you, his flirting comes more often than he can account for.

The subtle problem of flirting with you becomes a bigger problem over time, since you’re not the girl that he walked to class when she was lost anymore, you end up becoming his friend over a shared number and sitting together in the library. Not that he studies. Felix sits opposite to Jeongin and Seungmin praying that you’ll show up and he can have some time away from dumb and dumber (self proclaimed).

There’s too many times he’s sat next to you listening to you ramble over whatever book you were reading or something that caught your attention, and he’ll absentmindedly pull his lip between his teeth as he listens to your speak. A habit that he can’t break, no matter what he tries to do.

Of anything he was appreciative to have a new friend. He had no idea how it happened. One day you were just texting since you offered to share your number and agreed to it, not yet knowing that you might have taken his walking offer as flirting, and the next you were getting lunch together and he was laughing at your jokes and expressing himself to you in a way he hadn’t quite done with anyone else.

“You just get me,” he tells you, looking across the table at you with wide eyes and a blank smile. He watches as you laugh off his comment and wishes you’d have taken it seriously, though plays along with your humour. “Like, we just understand each other.”

You hum, still amused by his expression. “Maybe it’s fate we were to meet then.”

Oh, it may just have been fate, but don’t tell Felix that. Since he loved those old style books, the ones from the Greek and Roman times, he was a big believer in your fate being decided before you were to ever have a say in it.

Any mention that fate was between you to would have had Felix shoving your key inside his lock, even if he knew it already didn’t match just by looking. Though he did check, and Felix was sure that you key was a perfect match for his lock.

Even if you were just friends.

Felix was starting to feel like that hole in his life was disappearing. He wasn’t looking to a future that didn’t exist to complete him. He didn’t even contemplate the idea of a fantasy world unless he was dreaming. His thoughts, his feelings, his memories; they were all falling down to you.

And the worst thing?

He’d only known you a matter of weeks.

It was all moving so fast for him and there was nothing that he could do about it. Felix had never experienced such a flurry of emotions which left his heart racing and eyes with hearts around them. Wasn’t it just a second ago you were lost in the building and he showed you to where you should be?

No, a second ago Felix was watching you as you told him about a show you were watching, and Felix had an unexplainable desire to kiss you. Because your lips looked soft. Because you probably tasted really nice. Because, over everything else, he wanted to have his hand in the back of your hair and feels your nails run over his skin.

Felix wasn’t experiencing imaginary feelings towards someone that he made up for the purposes of his own satisfaction. Not that he did that very much anyway. Felix just… had a story going on in his head where his life was perfect and everything went well for him.

Unfortunately life isn’t that simple, and it never would be for him.

Not with you around.

“I have something to tell you.”

Felix looks up from his laptop, surprised to hear your voice when you’d been so focused on the work you said you’d been doing. He knew you had coursework due but also knew you were leaving it to the last minute to get some sudden inspiration on the topic.

So he takes out his other earphone on the premise this was likely going to be more important that you would say it is. “What is it?”

“Nothing important,” you answer, shrugging a little in return. Felix was right, as he assumed. You were deflecting from the topic you actually wanted to share. It was important to you, and he knew that already. Felix is running a list of topics you cared about through his head until you interrupt him with the one thing he didn’t expect. “I actually met this guy?”

“This guy?” Felix repeats, unsure of what you mean. It sounded like a question you were posing to him, and Felix wasn’t entirely sure what you wanted in return.

Your blank stare means that the image of you with another guy beside you, hugging you, showing his love to you in every form, it’s pretty much on the right track. It wasn’t him who you’d met. It was a guy. “Yeah, you know. A guy.”

“Are you going to elaborate?” Felix’s irritation is clear through his properly enunciated syllables, each word clearly being presented to you. Luckily you don’t notice, likely because you’re thinking about whoever this guy is.

“Okay,” you reply with a wide smile. Felix feels bad for accidentally giving you permission to tell him about something he really doesn’t want to know about. He could listen to you talk for years, he could sit across from you and watch your pretty lips explain any topic picked out of a hat, though to tell him that the love he was feeling for you, even if he didn’t realise as of yet that it was love, that wasn’t something he could sit by. “We’re going on a date tomorrow.”

And god did that piss him off.

His fake smiles might not have been obvious to you, and for that he’s glad, though anyone else who really looked at how Felix responded to your questions would have been able to tell that he was not, in the slightest, happy for you.

He could feign that reaction to you.

He could act like every little thing you told him about your dates, about your newly certified best friend or, even worse, boyfriend, really didn’t affect him that much.

But Seungmin noticed the very first time there was a problem not being addressed.

“She’s with Hyunjin.”

Felix’s statement is enough to catch the attention of Jeongin as well as Seungmin, the pair looking to Felix like he’d revealed an entirely new plot of lore to a game they’ve all been playing. The latter frowns at a new name in the puzzle.

“Who’s Hyunjin?” Seungmin asks.

Felix shrugs, looking back to his laptop. He has messenger open and an unread message to you staring right back at him. You were never the quickest at responding but it had been a few hours now and you’d stopped replying halfway through a conversation. “Just this guy.”

His explanation isn’t the clearest, but the other two are smart enough to realise what he’s referring to. Jeongin notices the discontent in his elder’s voice though doesn’t say anything. The youngest is usually quiet about things like this and brings them up at a later date when things get awkward.  

Instead, it’s Seungmin who misses the point completely and, given that the time you’ve spent with him too, believes wholeheartedly that Felix cares just as much about your happiness as his own.

“Damn, lucky her,” Seungmin states, placing his phone down on the table. He ignores the questioning look that Felix shoots him, focusing more on you, as Felix should have been doing. “It’s good she found someone who doesn’t just wanna smash and pass.”

Felix is happy that Seungmin ignores the pressing issue of why you were skimmed over so quickly. Why Felix, as your best friend, had nothing else to offer on the topic apart from that guy and a name that he had put to a face far too many times, since he couldn’t get it out of his head that you were now going to be with someone that he didn’t a, know that well, and b, wasn't him.

Yeah, Hyunjin was the kind of guy everyone would like to be with. He was an athlete that was kind of stuck up in his ways and, rather obnoxiously, wore his sports gear around campus like he wanted everyone and their mum to know exactly who he was and what he did.

It was enough for Felix to roll his eyes each time he saw the taller guy with nice skin hanging around.

And honestly, he gets it.

Felix understands your attraction to him, because Hwang Hyunjin was a very common topic in the cafeteria in one of the buildings and apparently every girl is swooning over his tall frame, pretty eyes and plump lips. There was also his majestically styled hair, the fact he could dance, and his accent when he spoke English.

Felix contemplates the true power of his Australian accent because of that one. He really thought that girls liked it, since he knew the other Australian on campus, Chan, was a big hit with girls since they liked his voice.

Though now he’s thinking that’s more to do with the fact Chan can sing.

It was beside the point, Felix had realised that the key you held in your hands wasn’t fitting lock completely. It touched every pin, though it missed the pin that he needed so badly.

He couldn’t help but want to hear that things weren’t working out for you. He would have begged to hear you sit down one day, distract him from his coursework, and openly tell him that you thought Hyunjin was terrible at something.

The problem was that Hyunjin was amazing at everything. All the way from contact sports to stealing your heart without a trace left for Felix.

It was always Hyunjin this and Hyunjin that for you. Felix would listen like the good friend he was though he would never actually say a word to you because he was worried he would tell you something crazy if he opened his mouth.

You know, like, I love you. Not him.

It’s one day after you’ve been together a few weeks that Felix stumbles across a topic that he thinks may catch the athlete out. They were yet to meet, but the absence of your presence on his social media (that Felix was unashamed to admit he was stalking, for your benefit of course) and the way that you presented Hyunjin gave him one impression.

Hyunjin wasn’t very capable of emotions.

“Does he love you?” Felix asks, words louder than the TV in the distance.

You look over to him, eyes wide. You’re not sure if you’ve heard him correctly, though it’s likely that you did given the stern look he’s returning you with. You look back to the TV momentarily, swallowing your pride and deciding to answer him anyway.

“It’s been three weeks, why would he love me?”

Your reply is enough to send Felix to silence, wondering whether he fell in love with you within 3 weeks. He thinks he did, he thinks that by week 2 he was enamoured by your smile and his heart would miss a beat each time your laughed. Week 3 for him must have been about when he stopped wondering whether his heart going doki doki was an indicator that you were his soulmate.

Before he gets judged, he was just struggling with his emotions on the opposite end to Hyunjin.

Whilst Hyunjin appeared to not be able to show them, Felix had far too many of them and he wanted out.

Emotions hurt too damn much. All Felix wanted was a peaceful time at university, to get his degree and move on so he can go onto writing the book he always dreamed about whilst he gets his qualifications to go into forensic psychology, since that was a pretty cool unit when he studied it.

It was far from peaceful for him, though, especially within his own thoughts. The only escape Felix gets is when he approaches Jeongin in the hopes the youngest could offer some advice in the form of… Felix not having to deal with his thoughts on his own.

“Because he probably doesn’t,” Jeongin states. His statement causes Felix’s heart to skip more beats than the boy would ever be happy to admit. Jeongin looks over to a couple that are sat near to them, watching them for a moment before he turns back to Felix. “I heard they got together at that party. He did just wanna smash and pass after all.”

Felix frowns at the thought. He didn’t go out with you often, but he thought you were on a more conservative side. He didn’t know jack shit about your relationship with Hyunjin but he thought it was more than that. You were comfortable with Hyunjin, more so than with Felix it seemed, and he couldn’t imagine that Hyunjin was with you this whole time just to do that with you.

So Felix defends Hyunjin for some reason, believing it was in betterment to you. “You don’t know that.”

“I do,” Jeongin states. The youngest chews on the straw of his drink for a moment, then sips some of his drunk. Felix only looks on with discontent, his point unproven. “Because I’m an expert when it comes to love.”

Felix can only scoff at the statement. Yang Jeongin was many things, but the boy was too nervous to talk to girls and went as far as avoiding group work with anyone he wasn’t friends with. Honestly, girls scared him, and Felix was very aware of that fact. The only thing that Jeongin had to his advantage was that he always listened, and he always knew what was going on behind the scenes. It was the emotions bit he didn’t get.

“Find me someone to love, then.”

“I can’t.” Jeongin’s reply cuts a little too deep at Felix’s ego. The younger defends himself with a blasé statement and shrug. “You don’t want to love anyone.”

“What do you mean?” Felix asks, all the while knowing that Jeongin’s statement wasn’t too far from the truth.

It’s not that he didn’t want to love anyone, it was that he didn’t want to love anyone but you.

It’s an unfortunate fact that Felix faces when he’s sat out in the darkness you like so much, the stars shining down on him and the moon offering a calming cup of reality and sympathy.

He doesn’t see you out, even though he knows this is where you would have passed at the exact time he was sat there - not that he was a stalker, he just remembers you saying from before.  He knows you’re off somewhere with Hyunjin, enjoying the love you feel for someone other than him.

His heart feels like breaking.

Felix sits on the bench until the sun starts to rise and the birds are catching the worms, eyes fixated on the path he wished that he was walking on that day when you met Hyunjin.

Oh, how things would be different.

Instead of moping around about it, he returns home with his under eyes red and head thumping from tiredness. He sleeps for about fifteen hours when he finally lays face down in bed, covers not even over him, the last thought on his mind being that he should just tell you.

Tell you how each time you look in his direction he’s reminded that the sun is a star.

Tell you how each time he hears your name he’s reminded of the peace that comes alongside the cosmos.

Tell you how, no matter what you do, he’s so effortlessly in love with you that his heart is about to burst like a supernova.

But you’re just a blackhole that can’t give anything back to him.

He thinks about it all day, knees hugged to his chest and headphones on. The right amount of sad songs convincing him that being honest is the best way forward. He considers calling you, but at the back of his head there’s a lingering thought that he doesn’t want to have you reject him without him seeing your face.

So he asks you to meet him the next day instead, hoping that seeing him in person might give you a little extra… well, push to actually love him back.

“I have to tell you something,” Felix says, interrupting the silence between the two of you. He realises that he’s a little louder than intended when you look up from you book and check around you both to see if anyone else is interested in the conversation, too.

“What?” you question, head turned slightly to the side in interest. “Are you okay, Felix?”

How could anyone be fine when they were going to give a confession they’d put off this entire time out of fear of rejection?

God, you had a boyfriend, this was about as pointless as the thoughts he had of you two actually being together in the future.

“Yeah.” Felix answers, his hands and voice both shaky. He pushes through it, offering the most generic of smiles he can in order to convince you that there was no other emotion running through him than… content. Yeah, he was content. Nothing else. “I’m fine”

“You look like you’re going to pass out.”  

Way to state the obvious.

Felix feels like he’s going to pass out, too. Or at least throw up a few hundred times in response to coming to terms with his feelings for you that he’s pushed to the back of his mind for more time than he can remember.

He wonders if he can avoid all of this by staring at you and creeping you out enough that you just leave and you never talk to him again. Who is Felix kidding, you are too kind to do that. You’d have tried to be the best friend that you can if you though he was going through something.

So he works up the courage to tell you what he wanted to, albeit slowly, and finally admit to you that he had a never ending string of feelings for you that he couldn’t get to go away no matter how many times he tried to.

Except your phone starts ringing and his heart stops beating completely.

Your look is apologetic for what you think he’s going to tell you. Felix can at least appreciate that. “Hold on, Hyunjin is calling me. Can it wait five minutes?”

He realises then that he could never tell you.

Hyunjin was always there to block him off, put your attention elsewhere when the one you really needed to be paying attention to was Felix.

It wasn’t even like Felix could put a logical reason to it. He wasn’t better than Hyunjin in anyway. He wasn’t more attractive, he wasn’t taller, he wasn’t any more talented. They had their individual things and Felix was just mad you loved Hyunjin instead of him.

At first he gets a bit angry. A thrown book, a thrash at his pillow, two screams into the blanket at the side of his bed. Felix lets out his anger for this whole situation in a matter of seconds in the hopes that things will die down in his head.

The thoughts were back. The ideas of a fantasy realm where he was in love with someone, and they were in love with him too. He was back to searching for a key to his heart and no matter what he did, you were always the one leading the search for him.

That’s what hurt him the most.

No matter what he did, no matter how many times he tried to get your face out of his mind, you managed to weasel your way straight back to the front of his mind and it left him more pissed off than ever before.

So he decides to act like nothing has changed. To try his best and accept that you don’t love him, you love Felix, and instead of thinking so negatively he would try to support you in the best way he can as your best friend.

Which works for the better part of a few weeks.

He listens to your rants about how good Hyunjin is to you. He sits back and lets you tell him every little detail, even the ones he doesn’t particularly want to hear, because he wants to be a good friend to you. There’s part of him that really wants you to see how good he is to you, and that same part of him hopes you’ll adjust your feelings just a touch to see him in the same way you did Hyunjin.

It gets easier over time for Felix, anyway. The days pass by like nothing and instead of being caught up in the thoughts of wanting you to love him back, he’s back to enjoying spending time with you and looking forward to the next time he saw you.

He feels that everything is back on track and that it’s all going well.

That is until he meets you one day and you’re fixed with nothing but a blank stare and teary eyes.

Felix does the whole good friend act like always, he buys you a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows, he finds you a good place to sit, he even offers you the latest take on an album from your favourite artist and offers to buy it for you in the hopes it will cheer you up.

He expects you to say there was an argument, but the way you look into the distance like something is missing, a look he knows all too well, tells him that this is more than just a Hyunjin argument.

“We broke up.”

Felix isn’t surprised to hear the words leave you, especially when you’d spent the entire day quieter than you’d ever been before. He feels more anger than sympathy in his heart, mind falling on the one person he thought had caused him problems this entire time.

“Hyunjin broke up with you?” He asks, eliciting little more than a nod.

It has to sit with him for a few hours before it sinks in to him. Though you’re by his side the whole time, sat next to him watching whatever movie you wanted to put on, Felix can’t quite wrap his head around the fact that you aren’t dating Hyunjin anymore.

Even a few days later, weeks even, Felix doesn't feel like anything has changed.

At first he thinks it’s because Hyunjin isn’t around at all anyway. His presence wasn’t suddenly missed, there was never a group of Felix’s friends that involved Hyunjin. Instead it was just the lack of his name in conversation and an inability to refer to your boyfriend when the opportunity arose.

It takes a while to occur to Felix that, despite the image of a dastardly boy who stole away his princess which came to mind when thinking on Hyunjin, the main issue at hand was never that he loved you.

No, Hyunjin never asked you to love him, and nor did he force it either.

It dawns on Felix when he hears you say to one of your other friends in the corridor that you were looking at dating sites because you wanted to find someone who could replace Hyunjin. Not even a glance in Felix’s direction the entire conversation.

When he gets home, sits on his bed and stares at the wall for twenty minutes, he realises the comment he can deduct from the entire situation.

Hyunjin was never Felix’s problem.

You were the problem this entire time.

You were in love with Hyunjin and you had all of these feelings which never pointed to Felix and you never wanted to give Felix the chance to show you, prove to you that he cared for you and would have treated you better than anyone else ever could.

And he shouldn’t take it personally, because sometimes love is unrequited.

Felix is left with a dilemma which means he’s in love with you, a girl who won’t ever consider him more than your best friend. He’s not sure what to do, because he still knows that telling you is pointless. A confession would drive you apart and your friendship means a lot to him.

But the endless nights of insomnia and wandering thoughts at points in the class where he really didn’t want to be thinking about you, they catch up to him.

He draws the line in caring when he realises his chance is back to zero. Though it might be selfish, he values the idea of a peaceful night's sleep without your face popping up to remind him of what he wished to escape so badly.

Sometimes you have to let go of what you love, in order to show you love them.

“This is Changbin,” you say, introducing the boy to your side. He looks a little shy. He has his hair hanging over his face, shirt too big for him but suiting the rock band guitarist look he was going for. Felix hides his sickening feeling with a smile and offer of a seat. You don’t notice the look in his eyes that he would with you. You don’t see how he’s left with nothingness filling the space around him once again. “I hope you get on well.”

You don’t see how Felix is left at the bottom of a dark pit, none of which fit the lock he’s got wrapped over and over around his heart.

The light you shone down onto him is switched off by the plug. He can’t see his shining, silver key that he thought you were pointing out to him, he’s surrounded by a pile of keys that he’s been trying for years to no avail.

You were a rainbow in the darkness that showed him a path forward, but he was hoping for so much more.

[goodgodbean]

East To West - Calum Hood

Hey guys! This is part twoooo!! So excited for this series! Just know that I took creative liberty with the boys in this - i don’t own their brand and i don’t personally know them. I hope you guys enjoy angsty Calum!

+++

Masterlist

Part 1 + Part 3

+++

Part 2. Neptune

Becca stood behind the door to her room, clicking the lock into place. The phone call had scooped out all of her internal organs and had left her hollow. On shaky legs she walks to a shelf on the side of her room and lifts a ceramic box to the top shelf. The box is white, hand painted with flowers with their latin names. She opens the lid on the hinge and sifts through the letters and cards inside the box, until she feels the felt bottom and the picture that sat at the bottom of the stack. 

Two years ago, Becca was lost in her own mind. She drifted across oceans of loneliness while surrounded by people. She had paid a psychic 30 dollars to draw her soulmate. When she got the copy in the mail, she laughed. The face was plastered everywhere in the United States at that time, Calum Hood. He is from the band Five Seconds Of Summer who had just released their 3rd studio album, Youngblood. 

She kept the picture though. The artist had somehow captured a love and hollow loneliness on his face and in his eyes, something that looked just as how she was feeling. 

Becca unfolded the picture for the first time in 6 months. He still took her breath away.

He has a picture of her too, at least according to Benny. 

He hired a Private Investigator to find her. 

He’s trying to find her. 

She sat down on her bed, holding the creased paper. What was he doing now?

Los Angeles parties and clubs are more about who was going home with who at the end of the night. Not that Calum was exactly looking to go home with anybody. Not that anybody else caught that message. Girls hit on him, ones that knew who he was and some that just knew he was remotely somebody. Some girls sat a couple seats away and tried to not look too interested in him, but interesting enough for him to approach them. It didn’t work. 

Calum’s friends are all desperately in love and only had eyes for their significant other’s. Out of the band, Calum was the only one that wasn’t dating or in love. It never stopped girls and guys from hitting on his bandmates. Then, when they couldn’t get anywhere with his bandmates they would move onto Calum. Like he was some second-class member. The thought rubbed harshly against his brain. 

Calum kept his eyes down on his alcohol. Every time he looked at another woman he thought of the drawing. Every time he closed his eyes he was haunted by her. A shadow of the picture would appear behind his eyelids, and look at him. He wanted to rip his heart out every time he saw the drawing. To know that he might have been let on a wild goose chase, but this women, this drawing, left him with so much want every time. It wasn't just how beautiful she was that he wanted. 

He wanted the little moments with somebody - with her - that his bandmates would talk and sing about. That those songs from every artist were about. The free fall of love, the drop of your stomach when you realize just how in deep you were. The rise of breath when you realize that they love you back. He wanted all the little moments too, to learn her quirks and mannerisms, what she likes and hates. The little fights and the big ones that slam doors, but end up in slow sweet kisses and apologies. He wanted the happy moments at restaurants where you can’t take your eyes off of each other and laughing so hard that milk comes out of your nose. The want settles in the pit of his stomach like a rock. 

But, the private investigator would find her. He had to find her. 

“Earth to Calum?” A hand clapped on Calum’s shoulder. Calum’s eyes snapped to the hand, his head slowly following and lifting. 

“Yes?” His voice sounded unfinished, as if he needed that sandpaper to smooth it down. 

“We’re gonna take off - you alright?” Ashton asks, but his eyes are barley looking at Calum. His eyes are trailing his girl who is hugging the rest of the group goodbye and giggling at a girl’s comment. 

Calum, in that moment, wanted to shout what had happened. What insanity he had done, but he sews his mouth closed. A nod would suffice. 

Ashton seemed to accept that answer and he left, an arm around the waist of his girl, tucking her into his chest. She giggled and allowed herself to be pulled closer. Calum’s eyes are on the door long after they leave. 

The rest of his friends trickle out in the the coming hour, all clapping a hand on Calum’s shoulder and wishing him a good night. He didn’t even bother to sit with them tonight. It would be like releasing a guppy into the ocean. His words would be quickly talked over and eaten by some bigger shark. Like Luke. 

Calum shouldn’t have a problem with Luke. Hell, Calum isn’t sure that Luke knows that he has a problem with Luke. Sometimes when Luke talks, or does something and everybody cheers and loves him… Calum just wishes that was him. It was an insane jealousy that pumps through his veins like sickly green blood vessels. 

It wasn’t just the social acceptance that Luke had, it was his charisma. He is just so magnetic, that everybody's eyes just trail to him. He had it when they were children even, thats why he was the frontman. Nobody could take his eyes off him anyways. 

God damn, did Calum want to be magnetic like Luke. He wanted to be able to control a crowd while whispering. Or even Michael, who could stand silent on a stage and they would cheer desperately for him. Or maybe Ashton, who doesn’t have a fraction of Luke’s magnetic energy, but enough confidence to balance it out. 

Calum wished to be anybody but himself most days. He wished he could muster up enough courage around his bandmates to even ask for more singing roles, but he couldn’t and they all went to Luke. It seemed like everything went to Luke sometimes. 

He couldn’t quite pinpoint when it started, but Calum resented his bandmates. It was a gradual thing, where every small snub had made him quieter and quieter. They didn’t really ever mean for it to snub him, but it all left it’s mark on him. Somehow every time they talked to him, it felt more like an insult than any concern.

Calum left money on the bar - probably too much - and leaves. His car is parked in the lot off the side of the building, but Calum walks the other way. The truth was that his secret escape was only a couple blocks away.

He doesn’t remember the exact moment he decided to rent his own get-a-way in the the city that he hates. He could fly to Australia if he really wanted to, to get to his real home, but it seemed like too much hassle. So he slinks through downtown LA in his grey zip up hoodie and thick jeans. 

The doorman, who was payed off for discretion, nods to Calum as he enters. Calum sometimes wonders what would happen if he took the chance and didn’t pay people off often. He also wonders what it would  be like to not have to pay people off to begin with. If he could just live in his little getaway all the time. If he never joined the band. 

These were dangerous thoughts that only made the noose around his neck tighten. They only made him feel more alone and stuck. It only made him feel like a wild animal, caged as an attraction. 

Calum unlocks his door and enters his little apartment. Exposed brick lines one wall, and potted plants lines the adjacent windowsill and the space below it. The ivy had been growing since the last time Calum had been here, crawling onto the brick wall and over the old golden couch that Calum bought second hand. The previous owner had broken one of the couch’s stubby legs, (and superglued it back on) the cushions had sunken in, and the material had faded to a mustard color. The TV shoved into the corner was the old-style with it’s back jutting out. The TV sat on a wonky dark wood table, that was probably a coffee table since it had light rings on it from wet glasses. A couple frames were sitting on coffee tables, inside them were pictures of his family - nothing referring to Calum’s famous lifestyle. Posters from Calum’s old room in Australia were hung on the walls a little crooked. They were such a bitch to put up alone that he never bothered to straighten them. As far as anybody knew, the posters were thrown out by Calum years ago when his parents moved. 

Calum dropped his keys into the ceramic dish by the front door - his sister had made it when they were young and gifted it to him as a joke when she was cleaning out her old room. That, as far as most know was also thrown out by Calum. It just didn’t fit into his supposed lifestyle. 

He goes for the water jug next to water his plants that have been neglected for the past few days. Little does he know that this world, the world that he wishes he could live in, is a mirror to Becca’s world, just under 3,000 miles away.

[sparklingskz]

across the world | lee felix

▸ anon requested: Can you write an enemies to lovers au with Felix?

▸ genre: fluff, angst, enemies to friends to lovers lol

▸  pairing: reader x felix

▸ description: you and felix were best friends, suddenly you move across the world and things end badly. Now you’re back, and moving across him.

▸ word count: 3.5k

▸ warnings: swearing, alcohol

▸  a/n: thank you for requesting!! this one’s a bit longer uwu btw I’m almost sure this is gender neutral but if something slipped please tell me!!

“Felix? Is that you?” you said in a surprised tone.

The man in question was standing by his door, keys in hand ready to unlock it. He was the same boy you remembered, only with more freckles and with light brown hair instead of the dark shade he sported in school. However, his expression exuded coldness towards you, not the welcoming gaze you were used to seeing in him.

Felix and you were the absolute best friends in high school. Of course, each of you had a small group of other friends, but neither of you were as close with them as you were with each other. You met in 10th grade, when you were assigned partners during a class you both hated, and bonded over that. You were inseparable since that moment; you shared secrets, did a lot of stuff together and partnered in class all the time.

Along the way, you don’t know exactly when, you noticed you had a tiny crush on Felix. Just a teeny tiny crush, which you would bury deep inside of you and never act on it as to not ruin your friendship. You never changed your attitude towards the boy as to not expose yourself, but always, in the back of your mind, was this voice freaking out over the tiniest of touches, smallest of smiles and the lock of your gazes.

That way the last year of high school came around, and your school had a tradition of setting up a dance during the last day of school, to celebrate the end of another year. People often went to the dance with a partner or with a group of friends, and, in all honestly, you didn’t know who you would be going with.

Of course, your first thought was Felix. Would it be weird? Would he discover you had a crush on him if you asked him to go to the dance with you? He hadn’t commented anything about the dance around you, so you didn’t know if he was going with someone either. That was until you overheard one of your classmates talking in the hallway.

“Yeah, I’m probably going with Felix to the dance. It’s going to be so much fun!”

Then and there, your heart broke just a little bit. You continued walking, desperate to just get to your next class and forget about the stupid dance.

You were in your seat, taking out your notes when you feel someone tap your shoulder. You turned around and saw Hyunjin, one of the boys from your friend group.

“Hey y/n, do you have a partner for the dance?” He said while smiling.

“Nope.” You answered, emphasizing on the “p”.

“Not going with Felix?” He inquired, tilting his head.

“Apparently not.” You sighed.

He thought for a second. “Well, how about we go together? In a super friendly way, of course.”

You pondered your options. Showing up at the dance alone while Felix was having fun with his partner, or go with Hyunjin, who was your friend and a super cool guy to spend time with? You’ll take the second one, please.

“Okay, I don’t see why not.” You said while throwing a smile in his direction.

“Cool, I’ll text you the details.” He said just when the teacher entered the classroom, and you turned around in your seat to face the front.

You wouldn’t let a stupid crush defeat you.

While the days until the dance decreased Felix still hadn’t said anything about his partner, so you didn’t mention you were going with Hyunjin. That was until the day before the dance, when he was hanging out in your house and he brought it up.

“Hey, what time should I pick you up to go to the dance?” he said nonchalantly.

You froze. “Uh, what do you mean?”

“What I just said?” He said in a “duh” tone.

“We’re going together?” You inquired.

“I assumed so? We’re best friends.” He said as it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Hyunjin invited me, so I’m going with him.” You said, almost dreading his reaction.

Felix just looked at you, and suddenly stood up. “I’m going home.” He picked up his stuff and headed for the door.

“Hey! Felix, wait!” You said. “Why are you so mad? I thought you already had a partner!”

“No, y/n. I was always thinking of you. Have fun with Hyunjin.” He said before closing the door behind him, and you felt that he took your heart with him.

The day of the dance, you and Felix ignored each other the whole time. You tried to not think about him and have some fun with Hyunjin, but every time you seemed to forget you saw the freckled boy standing there with his friends, or dancing.

What you felt the worst about was one thing, though. You hadn’t told him about an important detail in your life, because you were waiting to do it at your house the day before the dance, but he left angrily.

You were going to attend college in America, not in Australia.

You didn’t want to leave without talking to Felix, so you approached him before the dance ended. It didn’t matter if he was mad at you, he was probably going to be even madder now.

“Um, Felix?” You said cautiously.

He turned around. “What?” You almost flinched at the coldness of his tone.

“I need to tell you something, and I’m so sorry for leaving it for the last minute.” You took a deep breath. “I’m leaving Australia in a few days, I’m attending college in America.”

You saw the flash of confusion and hurt in his eyes. “And you’re telling me now?” he emphasized the last word. “I thought we were best friends, y/n. Best friends who told each other everything. Now you couldn’t even tell me you were going to a whole different continent? I was hoping we’d still be able to talk and see each other, even if we were in different colleges! Now you’re going to be away for years!” he said angrily.

“We can still talk-“

“I don’t want to talk with you.” He interrupted, and left.

A few days later, you flew to America and went to college there. You really liked your campus, you made plenty of friends but you missed good old Australia. That’s why, four years later, you returned to your country, having finished your studies and graduated.

A few days after you came back, you had found and rented a cute one bedroom apartment (with a bit of your parent’s help, of course) that was close to your new job, and had just finished moving in when it happened.

You hadn’t seen or talked to Felix since you fought at the dance all those years ago. That was, until now.

You were leaving your apartment to do some grocery shopping, when you saw your neighbor just about to open his door. This was your first time meeting him and he looked about your age, so you wanted to make a good first impression.

“Hi, I’m your new neighbor, y/n.” You introduced yourself.

The boy turned around, and was about to answer when he froze.

You froze too.

“Felix? Is that you?” Hesitance was clear in your tone.

He stared at you for a few more seconds, but then it seemed like he got out of a trance and quickly opened his door and closed it behind him.

You stood there, still frozen in place, not processing you had just seen him. You often thought about Felix while you were in America, the prospect of seeing him again always in the back of your mind, but you never imagined it was actually going to happen.

Now you’d have to live knowing he’s there, just a few footsteps away from you, but probably not wanting to see you. You thought about just knocking on his door, but he’s most likely in the same state as you, only more shocked. You’d give him time, but as apparently you were neighbors now you’d probably see him again sooner or later, and when that happened you’d try talking to him. Yes. Good plan.

Turns out the next time you saw Felix was rather sooner than later. You were walking down the stairs to go get some mail you received, but stopped at the end of the staircase when you saw your old friend standing in front of the mail boxes, reading his mail. You internally debated if you should go over there or not, but it was a perfect opportunity to talk to him.

You stood next to him, took a deep breath and spoke.

“Um… Hi.” You said, taking out your mail and pretending to analyze it really hard.

You felt Felix turn to look at you, and you looked back.

“Hi.” He said, kind of coldly. Hey, it was a start.

“So…” You started saying. “I’m back.”

Perhaps that was not what you should have said. “I can see that.” He said closing his mail box harshly before turning on his feet and heading up the stairs quickly, probably towards his apartment.

You sighed and closed your mailbox. It was going to be extremely difficult to regain his confidence, hell you didn’t even know if he even wanted to be friends with you again. However, that didn’t mean that you weren’t going to try.

That’s why the next time you saw him, you tried to have an actual conversation with him. You were both entering the building, Felix obviously trying to walk quicker than you to avoid conversation.

“Hey Felix?” You said catching up to him.

He sighed. “What do you want, y/n?”

You were about to say something along the lines of “don’t you think it’s weird that we live in the same building and are next door neighbors?? haha insane right”, but the only thing you could muster out was a small “I missed you…”

Felix sighed again. “I missed you too, y/n. But I suffered so much when you left, in less than a day I lost my best friend in the entire world. When I saw you again the other day, all the memories came crashing back, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Let’s talk then, let’s be friends again.” You said hopefully.

“I’m afraid not, y/n.” He said.

Before you could even ask him why, he quickly entered his apartment. You entered yours, and wondered how a simple misunderstanding and a trip to another continent damaged things so bad between you two. Come to think of it, it wasn’t fair to him that you didn’t tell him you were moving, but you thought you two would keep talking while you were away. The dance messed it all up, and you were still paying for it.

However, you were an adult now, and there was a simple way to forget about your problems: alcohol.

Felix was sitting on his couch watching a movie when he heard it: the sound of a bunch of objects hitting the floor and a loud “Fuck!” coming from the hallway. His curiosity got the best of him and he got up to open the door and peek outside, and he definitely did not expect to see what he saw.

There you were on the floor, clumsily picking up the things that fell out of your bag.

“y/n?” He said hesitantly. “Are you ok?”

You turned your head to look at him. “Uh… Yeah. Perfectly fine.”

Felix immediately knew you were a bit drunk.

“Are you drunk?”

“What? Me? Of course not.” You said as you tried to stand up, almost falling down in the process, but Felix quickly reacted and caught you before you could fall over. He steadied you on your feet and let go.

Felix sighed. “Where are your keys?”

You patted your pockets. “Uh… I was searching for them when everything slipped out… But here they are!” You held them proudly in one hand.

“Okay, now open your door.” Felix said.

You took the keys and tried putting the right one in the lock. This was apparently very difficult given your dizzy state, which is why Felix gently took them from you and opened the door.

The second you entered your apartment, you took off your shoes, put your bag down and threw yourself on the couch. Felix just stood in the doorframe, watching amusedly.

“You should go sleep in your bed, y/n.” He said tiredly.

“But it’s soooooo far.” You retorted.

Felix just chuckled and helped you stand up, guiding you to your bedroom, which was easy for him to find as his apartment had the same layout as yours.

“Don’t you want to change into something more comfortable?” He said, looking at your night out clothes.

“Uh… Probably.” You said while going over to your closet, not without a bit of difficulty.

“I’ll leave you to that.” Felix said, while he went to the kitchen to get you a glass of water.

He waited until you changed and then left the glass on your bedside table. Why was he even doing this? Taking care of you? After everything that happened?

“Okay, I’ll be going now.” He said.

You turned to look at him. “I’m so sorry for everything Felix… I was so horrible for doing that to you. I cared so much about you, hell, I still do. Please, I want to talk to you again.” You started saying, almost pleading.

Felix sighed. “We’ll talk when you’re sober.” He retorted, and left you alone.

When you woke up the next day, your head was pounding. You weren’t that drunk the night before, just enough to forget about Felix and have some fun. You vaguely remember Felix helping you in your apartment, and shame crept over you. You weren’t glad he saw you in that state, but another part of you was happy he helped you.

After freshening up a little and eating breakfast, you decidedly went over to Felix’s door and knocked. It wasn’t too early, so you were sure he was home. A few seconds later the door opened, revealing the freckled boy.

“Oh.” He just said.

“Uh… Hi.” You started saying nervously. “Firstly, I came to say sorry you had to see me like that yesterday… I wasn’t thinking correctly. Secondly, I wanted to say thank you for helping me, you didn’t have to do that but you did…”

“It’s no problem.”

You took in a big breath, and just started talking. “You know, Felix, the last thing I expected when I moved here was to live right across from you, my best friend, or well, my ex best friend. But I’d like to think it was for a reason, you know? You were the only person I was truly close to in high school, I appreciated your friendship so much. I know it’s going to be difficult, but there’s nothing I want more in the world than having you back. So please, can we fix things?”

Felix looked like he was taking in all your words. “Come in.” He suddenly said, stepping apart to let you into his apartment.

“Thank you so much.” You said as you stepped inside.

The both of you sat down in the sofa, plenty of distance between you. The air was tense, so you spoke first.

“Again, I’m so sorry I left Australia so suddenly. I should’ve talked to you first.”

“Yeah, you should’ve. But I still have some fault in everything that happened. The both of us shouldn’t have assumed things, but we did and now we’re here, years later.”

You smiled a bit. “Yeah, we’re whole adults now.”

Felix went silent for a bit, and then spoke. “It was so difficult seeing you again, y/n. I thought you were out of my life for good.” Sadness was evident in his tone.

“But now I’m here, and I’d like to make things right. Maybe we could hang out so we can catch up? There are lots of things to tell, I assume.” You said hopefully.

Felix looked deep in thought. You knew you were pushing your luck here, but if he said yes, you’d be able to fix things.

“Okay, let’s try that.”

You smiled brightly, happiness flooding your body. “Thank you. How about we go to my apartment, I make some lunch, and we can talk?”

“I don’t see why not.”

Things were surely weird at first. Felix was sitting on one of your kitchen stools while you cooked, and he was mostly in silence while you talked about your adventures in university. After a while though, it seemed like he gave up on the cold exterior and started talking too, putting you up to date on his life.

Once you finished cooking and served two plates, you sat down and continued talking. You couldn’t believe how much you had missed him, from the way he spoke to his smile. You felt at home with him, even after years had passed.

You both shared anecdotes from your time apart, talked about the new friends you made, your actual jobs, and reminisced over old high school stories from when you were best friends. That’s when the air got a bit tense, as you started talking about how close you were.

“You know…” He started saying. “I want to apologize for treating you badly the first few times we saw each other here. It was probably unnecessary.”

“No, I get it. I suddenly disappear from your life and now I’m back, you have every right to be upset.”

He stayed silent for a moment. “I’m not upset anymore… I want you back in my life y/n, now that we talked I realized how much I missed my best friend, and I won’t let the opportunity of having you back again slip from my fingers.”

You smiled widely. “That makes me so happy to hear.”

The next few weeks consisted of you going to work and hanging out with Felix. Both of you came over to each other’s apartment’s all of the time, sometimes staying over for dinner or just to watch some TV and talk. You were so glad to have your best friend back, and thanked the universe for making you live right across from him. However, along with the happiness you felt, something else returned.

That was, you were slowly realizing your crush on Felix was coming back. Every time he talked or smiled you fell a little deeper, plus his attitude didn’t really change so your dumb high school crush didn’t have a reason to leave either, even after all these years.

The thing is, you weren’t really sure of what Felix felt towards you. You know you just started being friends again after the awkwardness of the first encounters, but you have grown really close these past weeks. You have a slight feeling he may like you back, just a tiny bit. It may be the lingering stares, the small touches or the wide smiles, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up, even when your heart sped up whenever these happened.

One day, you were both sitting on his couch, a boring TV show playing in the background while you talked about anything and everything, as you used to. After a few moments of silence, Felix spoke.

“You know,” he started saying. “I used to have the biggest crush on you in high school.” He finished with a small giggle. “That’s why I was so mad we weren’t going to the dance together.”

You froze. Did you hear that right?

“You- you did?”

“Yeah…” He scratched his neck. “I mean, we were always together and you’re amazing, how could I have not had a crush on you?”

Maybe it was time to come clean too.

“Well, you’re not the only one because I used to have a crush on you too.” You said, probably blushing.

“Wait really? Why didn’t you say anything!” he exclaimed, hitting your arm playfully.

“Why would I?” you laughed. “I wasn’t sure you liked me back, I wasn’t going to go and ruin our friendship.”

“We’re so stupid.” Felix laughed. “If only we said anything…”

A tense silence filled up the room.

“Fuck it.” You heard Felix mutter under his breath. “y/n, I think I still have that crush on you. Or at least it came back after seeing you again.”

You sat there frozen for a few seconds, processing his words. Then you also decided to say fuck it and leaned forward to press your lips against Felix’s.

You felt as he was shocked for a few milliseconds but then immediately reciprocated the kiss, putting his hands on both sides of your cheeks. It was just the press of your lips against each other, but the way your heart was racing showed how much you have been anticipating this.

You broke apart after a few seconds and looked into each other’s eyes, Felix’s hands still on your face. You could see every one of his freckles from this close up, he was so beautiful.

Felix smiled. “Do you want to go on a date with me?” he said.

You smiled back. “There’s nothing that would make me happier.”